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Studio: Third Degree Films » Review by Disco Dirge » Review Date: 8/8/07

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Genre: Straight Feature
Director: Alex King
Cast:: Cory Everson, Misty, Stacy Silver, Violet, Sandra De Marco, Paris, Ian Scott, Max Cortes, George Uhl, Bobby
Length: 150 mins
Production Date: 2006

In a Nutshell - Glamorous and Groin Grabbing
Alex King pretends to be a jack of all trades on this title. He handles the directing, he works with the camera, and even provides the musical score. One things for certain, however - he definitely does have a way with the lens. The 1.33:1 full screen image here is colorful, bright, and loaded with detail. The ladies look good, and when we get down to the drilling, the contrasts are expertly controlled. And what about our filmmaker's compositional skills? The tunes here are interesting, if a tad techno-tired.

In a Nutshell - Nothing Special or Substantive.
Third Degree's packaging promises some interesting added content, but when one finally gets a chance to view these supposed supplements, they're nothing really special. Forgetting the industry basics - gallery, trailers, website ads, cum shot recaps - and looking to the promised behind the scenes featurette, we anticipate some clever backstage business. Sadly, the proposed bonus is nowhere to be found on the DVD.

First Impressions:
It is one of the more unusual terms of sexual endearment. After all, how the spent casing from a potential explosive earmarks a gal's erotic qualities, only a 1940's bombardier can explain. It could have something to do with the shape of your average shell. The female breast - especially locked in a pre-War era brassiere, does have a semi-similar shape. Or it could be the kinetic nature of the dame's carnality - you know, one look at her and your privates turn into TNT, ready to pop at any moment. Whatever the rationale, it's a heavy burden of bodaciousness to carry, and a symbol of sizzle most girls can't contain. Sadly, this collection of proposed corporeal delights will only entice those XXX fans used to the mid-range level of balling. Third Degree is not an industry big wig, but they are trying to deliver dicking that has both fire and freshness. Here, they provide only the slightest semblance of either.

The Sex Scenes:

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The first thing you notice about four of the five sequences here is that they begin almost exactly the same. Our featured female does some provocative posing. She strips off her skivvies, or any other item of enticement she may be wearing. She grabs the bottle of baby oil, and before you know it, she's basted and ready to be plowed. At first, it all seems very enticing. The ladies really get into the larding, and The Dirge will have to repeat himself by saying that there is nothing sexier than a grease-slicked girl. But after Scene 3, it feels mechanical and mannered, as if the director was looking for a visual hook to connect the diddle dots. Also, the lack of a similar set up in Scene 5 makes it stick out like a sore bum. Why is Paris' process so much different, and why doesn't it match most everything else in Bombshells. The plot thickens.

Scene 1: Cory Everson
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Baby Oil Action, Masturbation, Cunnilingus, Tit Fucking, Blowjob, Ball Sucking, Doggy, Spoon, V to M, Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Pile Driver, Pile Driver, $hot on Tits
Score: 2.5 out of 5
While not the most attractive actress in the case, it is safe to say that no one can hold a carnal candle to Cory. She is the perfect partner for her unidentified meat puppet, a pure porn powerhouse that really amplifies the arousal. From the selection of positions she partakes in to the 'anything for the audience' approach, she makes the initial moments of Bombshells seem almost worthwhile. Of course, with a better, more balanced paramour, we'd feel the passion even more.

Scene 2: Misty
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Baby Oil Action, Masturbation, Blowjob, Tit Fucking, Face Fucking, Cunnilingus, Mish, Spoon, Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl, Anal Spoon, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, $hot on Tits
Score: 2.5 out of 5
As the Yin to Ms. Everson's Yang, Misty makes up for a lack of ardor by giving her ass a real workout. As a bimbo-like blond with a full "fuck me" face, she should really be steaming shit up. But since she's coupled with a cockhead who does little except screw, there's a limited amount of lewdness involved. Even worse, when we get to the butt bongo, our hero turns to taffy. Maybe Misty is just that tight. Maybe her stunt shaft needed a little blue pill pick-me-up before hitting the set. Whatever the issues, this is still the second best scene - which doesn't say much for the erotica inherent in parts 3 through 5.

Scene 3: Stacey Silver, Violet
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Baby Oil Action, Masturbation, Blowjob, Ball Sucking, Reverse Cowgirl, Alternating V to M, Reverse Cowgirl, Spoon, Cowgirl, Anal Cowgirl, Alternating A to M, Doggy with Face Sitting, Anal Doggy with Face Sitting, $hot on Tits
Score: 2 out of 5
You figure with the free-for-all facets of a threesome there'd be more than enough marbling to go around. And for a while, Stacey, Violet, and their boy toy really try to push the porn envelope. When his dick isn't in the nearest available orifice, it's in some gal's craw. When he's not pumping some pooper, he's pounding hot pussy. And yet, after a while, we grow numb to all the naughtiness. Try as they might, this platinum pair just can't quite fuel the flames. What we have here is still hot. With the way this scene is set up, it should be friggin' nuclear.

Scene 4: Sandra de Marco
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Baby Oil Action, Masturbation, Tit Fucking, Blowjob, Doggy, Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Spoon, Anal Mish, $hot on Tits
Score: 2 out of 5
Stuck with the same pud stud from Scene 1, our capable Ms. De Marco is left doing all the wanton work. She really does try to show how horny she really is, and when lame lover boy finally finds the backdoor, Sandra's reactions are radiant. But as you look over the copulation components of the scene, you realize that very little goes on between our perverted pair. Once in the ass, Mr. Meat barely deviates, and after 20 minutes of straight shitter stuffing, we're desperate for something different. But without A to M, or a little vag-to-ass back and forth, it's a long 30 minutes of monkeyshines.

Scene 5: Paris
Acts Performed: Director Interplay, Cabaret, Baby Oil Action, Blowjob, Tit Fucking, Cunnilingus, Mish, Reverse Cowgirl, V to M, Cowgirl, Spoon, $hot on Tits
Score: 1.5 out of 5
If blank, vacuous stares were the height of horniness, our passive Ms. Paris would be the most hopped up gal on the planet. Even during her quaint Q&A with the director, this disconnected dish can barely remain awake. She seems scared, awaiting the moment where she has to put up (and out) or shut up. And the minute her salami stallion shows up, her lack of fire leaves everyone - including the audience - stone cold. In one of the rare cases where you just wish a XXX scene would hurry up and end, this particular Parisian has no future in the fuck and suck game - at least, not based on this bland balling.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating: 2 out of 5 (Rent It)
Cohabitation Certification: Granted
Since arousal makes a good gradient for how successful a sex film is, The Dirge is going to have to admit that nothing about Bombshells got his man motor running. As a matter of fact, he was more frustrated than fulfilled by this title. Still, others less critical of their porn product will probably enjoy every semi-steamy minute of the slightly average action. Therefore, a Rent It becomes the most reasonable rating. It allows anyone interested in this half-hearted hardcore a chance to judge for themselves, while those riding on the fuck film fence won't be laying out $25 large to discover how dull this really is. Couples can't complain, since the lack of aggression actually helps the Cohabitation Certification determination. When one thinks of the title entity, certain names from the past come crawling across your memory. One things for certain - the women featured here won't be part of anyone's nookie nostalgia anytime soon. They're more forgettable than formidable.

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