Two things came to mind when I opened up "Asian Mayhem" to discover what was waiting inside. Was this extra juicy addition a chance to give buyers their money's worth along with a great porno, or was it desperate compensation for a really bad film? I couldn't stand the suspense, and hoped for the best... while I gazed at Mika Tan taking one up the beaver hole. Surely, "Asian Mayhem," at over two hours, attempts to give you a bang for your buck by including twenty 5x7 glossy photos including shots from the film, and it's a wonderful prize with the DVD, even if you don't enjoy "Asian Mayhem." In spite of the fantastic packaging and the wonderful money shots of Mika Tan, I prayed that the photos wouldn't be the only thing I remembered about Jax's "Asian Mayhem"...
There's really not much to say about Mika Tan that doesn't immediately pop into your head upon glancing at any picture of her. I think if I saw a picture of her in ratty pajamas brushing her teeth with her hair in curlers, I'd be compelled to sport a raging boner. So it was no shocker that when Mika Tan appears at the very beginning in an absolute fantastic dominatrix black leather outfit, I just about hit the floor. Tan is a gorgeous woman, and she knows this, which is why she is not afraid to look damn cocky sucking that cock. At her command, she demands her subjects Chris and Marco to come to her, and instantly, she takes the two sucking them with enough suction to bring shit from their bowels through the shaft. This woman looks gorgeous and she's the absolute favorite of the compilation. Tan not only looks the role, but she seems to be having a damn good time making these two gents her bitch, too. Her long legs are accentuated by her gorgeous leather knee high boots and comical grunting aside, she's a ball to watch ball. She never takes her mouth off the cock, even when being butt fucked, and spread eagle, and always commands her mates to fuck her harder and harder the entire time, which only makes her hotter and hotter. She can take a fucking, and god, she's a sight.
Kaiya crawls to the camera like a lovely little pussycat you want to rear end until your hip snaps in two, and that's the best intent for her seductive cat crawl. Her trek eventually leads her to cock, as she begins blowing on her mate in a back alley. Jax paints the scene in a nice blue tint that makes the scene feel dirty and taboo, which is all the more reason Lynn's segment is great. Lynn is much more of a submissive pussycat than Tan is, as she performs every task her partner asks. She blows him passionately, and then she has her legs tied together with her strapped red boots, all the while being kissed passionately. With ample tits, a gorgeous face, and long legs, she has her pussy eaten out relentlessly, and is then pounded to kingdom come on a couch, and screams her brains out. Her gorgeous ass is then pounded with Lynn once again taking the submissive position with her head dug deep into the cushions, and really seems to enjoy the sheer punishment she endures with passion for the most part. There's not a single boring moment here, and Tan's segment is hard to follow.
Phoenix & Loni
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One of my pure major turn offs in sex or anywhere else is smoking. There simply isn't anything more disgusting, there simply isn't anything that's more repellent than watching a woman smoke like a chimney and then be forced to kiss that mouth which inevitably tastes like exhaust fumes. So Loni's arrival in a mild strip tease, while also smoking instantly turned me off to what may have been a good segment. Call me finicky or anal, but it's just unattractive. Don't kid yourself women, it's not attractive, and you're not Rita Hayworth. Loni's segment starts off on a rough path from the very beginning as she seduces her man on the couch, and calls in Phoenix. While Phoenix is a beautiful girl, she's white. Why call this Asian mayhem and feature a woman of a different race? Racist? No. I paid for Asian porn here, folks. Either way, the two engage in two on two cock sucking, and give our male more than he can handle, as Loni works on the cock while Phoenix is eaten out to no end. The two then switch off one after the other as Loni rides the cock, and then Phoenix who doesn't seem too enthused. All around, the women were so so and the segment was just fair enough to get by.
Nyomi & Sydnee
A young lucky bastard sits contently, as his two gorgeous fuck friends Nyomi and Sydnee appear only inches away and begin teasing him. Dressed in tight and short clothing, Sydnee's short jean skirt is torn off by the lovely Nyomi who is dressed in short glittered red shorts and a top. They kiss and fondle one another joyfully as their soon to be sandwiched mate watches and waits for his chance. More foreplay ensues, as they strip one another and caress bodies, taking pleasure in torturing their fuck buddy, and the fucking ensues. Nyomi and Sydnee choke themselves with cock, fondling their mate with very much gusto, and double team him like ravenous dogs quite often. Nyomi is shockingly the highlight here. While Sydnee is damn good-looking, black performer Nyomi takes the cock to the point of gagging on its girth, feels up balls, kisses Sydnee and even is the first to ride the cock with her gorgeous plump ass being spanked and clutched like it's going out of style. Shit, fuck it, I wanted Asian Mayhem, but Nyomi made me change my mind with her gorgeous ass, and absolutely stunning body. Honestly, when all was said and done, I felt the same way the male actor did: "Sydnee you go watch, while I fuck the hell out of Nyomi who really warrants a good pounding and outshines you."
Keeani appears to her mate and interrupts his nap to bring him a drink and oddly dressed in hot lingerie that's begging to be torn off. Enticed, Keeani bends over and endures some lovely spanking on her utterly lovely butt, and she reciprocates by providing some long and deep blowing that's rather fun with Jax's lighting, but then it gets repetitive. Lei seems almost bored and is rather hesitant to really suck on the cock for a while, even with her mate initiating foreplay, and licking the hole like it's a fresh cone. It felt like the director was guiding the bored Keeani, which would account for the lack of sound here. "Okay Keeani, now suck, suck, suck... suck... and suck... and jerk him off... now look at the camera and give a passionate stare, and now suck! Suck... suck... zzzz... suck... and now begin riding him. Don't fall asleep now while you're riding him, I know you're hiding a yawn and faking a groan, but hell, you're getting paid more than I am. Now ride the cock... ride it, don't yawn... did he fall asleep? Can someone poke him with a stick? Okay, now Keeani, ride the cock some more... and a little more... and try to scream a little, please. Now suck... and... scene!"
Odds & Ends
While Jax's direction is satisfactory enough, the video quality here leaves much to be desired. Often times the picture quality borders on murky to many times resembling a bootleg. I even checked my wires twice to make sure it wasn't a mix up, but surely enough this is the quality. The picture is too dark and fuzzy, and often times the camera seems to have a dimmer lens when it clear doesn't. The movie is presented in full screen, and supposedly shot on HD, but damned if I could give a shit with the murky presentation. And do people really care if something's shot on HD? They do? God that's sad.
What's that?! What'd you say? Huh? Speak louder! Do I wanna duck? Why would I...? Oh, you said fuck! Is this a silent picture? Did I accidentally step into the twenties and watch an old silent stag film? Well, you could have fooled me. Why did we have to sit for three minutes at a time watching our actors talk and yet never hear anything actually come out of their mouths? Seriously, what uneven audio. We can't even hear the flirting and seduction, yet the groans and slaps and screams are louder than you can imagine. Someone fucked up.
There are many benefits to the extras that work in this packages favor. Save for the gorgeous pics of Mika Tan all over the box, there are also twenty free glossy photos of captures of our various female performers doing their thing including taking it up with two, and Tan in all her gorgeous glory. This addition is rather excellent, I must say, and it's a great prize for viewers. As for disc supplements, we're duped. The box boasts of a behind the scenes, and upon investigation, there isn't any of the sort. What we are given is trailers to Tight Fit Productions, including "The Many Shades of Mayhem," and a really hot trailer for "After Hours," just to name a few. Along with that, we have a slideshow of the same photos we're given in the package, and a cum shot recap which is good for folks looking for more jizz for your buck.
Not only do you get a really great porno movie that sports some lovely female performers including a nut stomping opener with Mika Tan dominating two men, you also get twenty full color glossy photos to enjoy after you've realized Mika Tan won't escape your fantasies. While the video and audio leave much to be desired, and the extras within the disc are horrible, it's outweighed by the absolutely beautiful women, and the hot sex scenes. Plus, the packaging is eye catching.