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Final Say, The

Studio: Other » Review by Buzz Buhrmann » Review Date: 8/31/07

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

When talking about sex, in polite conversation, you'll often hear people remark "size doesn't matter" or "it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the option". Perhaps its something you might hear from a partner during a moment of insecurity. The truth is size does matter. And while it may not matter during the act, it's often the focus of either neurotic self consciousness or ego boosting mirror surveys to get a sense of just how big 'it' is.

The measuring of ones penis against another's has long been considered the final word in any heated debate - "Why don't the two of you just whip it out so we can be done with all this" . Until now there hasn't been a universal agreed upon way of measuring a penis. Some people measure from the base, some the top. Some people the side and others by whatever method will give them the best possible measurement. Google the term "optical inch" to see just how far some people go to make it 'look bigger'.

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I'm now happy to report that all arguments can now come to an end, that there's an equal measuring stick which will put an end to all speculation and finally give each man a finite number which they can either proudly or not so proudly wear as a badge of honor or insecurity, or apathy - depending on who you are. The product is appropriately entitled The Final Say.

Basically, The Final Say is a clear plastic tube with clear measurements (both in Inches and CM. on it). While it doesn't come with instructions, it's pretty easy to figure out. Just put your cock in the tube and all will be revealed. Also included are some cardboard measuring tapes for girth measurements, which isn't as absolute and clear as the Final Say's tube. Extraordinarily well endowed guys over 9" will find that The Final Say won't be the complete measure as the tube ends at 9".

The Final Say is made out of pretty sturdy plastic, so if you are actually using it in a 'whose dick is bigger' contest it can be (and should be) easily washed between contestants and be able to stand up to wear and tear pretty well.

So how did I measure up? Without giving the final number I can say given my understanding of the ranges of sizes (yes I can google too), absolutely, positively average. Woo Hoo. I'm average. It's nice to measure both flaccid and erect as in my case "I'm a grower, not a shower" (see Weeds Season 2 for the context to that quote).

It's pretty petty, but on some level it's nice to have an exact measurement. OK now I know. Does it change the way I see myself? No. Doesn't really change much. It's always been the right size for me, but now I've got the data to know how I stack up.

Selling for around $15, The Final Say is essentially an expensive ruler. But as a gift or as something to splurge on that's fun I'd say it's worth it. Probably not a sex 'toy' you'll use often, but if you've got size on your mind and you just got to know... this is the answer for you.

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