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Latina Deluxe

Studio: Swank » Review by Alexander » Review Date: 9/3/07

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Tagline: "Elegant as a tango, hotter than jalapenos!"

Genre: Latina (well, not really)

Condoms: No

Cast: Zafira, Miki, Electra Angel, Chloe, Nataly

-- sponsored by --

Length: 2:04:25

First Impressions: Between the Hungarian production offices, the distinctly European interior architecture (hey, I watch a lot of foreign films), the German language these-girls-are-really-18 disclaimer at the beginning of the film, their KGB-like names, and the obviously Euro dudes that do the fucking, I'm 100% certain that--are you ready?--the five girls that star in Latina Deluxe are not Latina, but rather dark-haired Czechs more familiar with the Eastern Bloc than East L.A.

Special Features: There are four special features on the disc, including a three minute "casting" feature (basically a faux audition with Zafira, sans makeup, posing to directions from off-camera), a photo gallery of stills from the DVD, 11 minutes worth of trailers, and an impressive 23 minute behind-the-scenes featurette that manages to be both kind-of-hot and somewhat enlightening. While most of this bit features a photographer taking pictures of the performers staging scenes for use in print and the internet, the short moments featuring the blocking of scenes and the make-up and wardrobe (!) departments provide a welcome glimpse into the hard work involved in making adult films (yes, even this one). (Nearly spoiling this extra, however, is the super-annoying 23 minute-long smooth jazz tune that plays throughout. Fewer things can kill an erection faster than two dudes jerking off to '80s-era elevator music.) The menu is well designed. Clicking on Zafira's scene in the chapter menu, for instance, takes you to another menu breaking down her scene into four segments: "intro," "oral," "anal," and "popshot."

Audio/Visual Quality: The DVD is presented in standard full frame color. The picture looked slightly washed out on my Panasonic TH-42PX60U. The audio--while featuring the typical moans and frequent sounds of ass slapping--is distracting in its loud-ness. For example, the sound of Zafira's tongue licking the tip of a cock is as loud (and trust me, it's loud) as her moans when she is getting ass pounded.

Scene 1 (Zafira; Length: 21:46): Perfect-bodied Zafira enters a spartan bedroom wearing a denim mini skirt, white cotton top and a ton of purple eye shadow. On the bed: a blonde Lundgren-type sporting a pair of grey boxers and a semi-erect cock. Still standing, Zafira massages his member and reaches between her legs and begins to gently rub her gorgeous pussy and ass. Within seconds, we jump to Zafira sucking the guy off. Moments later (a shame, because I could have watched a 20 minute clip of Zafira just performing blow jobs), she does a little strip tease for the camera, showing off her perfect natural tits and rubbing her round ass. Some doggy and cowgirl ensue, with most of the rest of the scene featuring Zafira taking it hard (and with obvious pleasure) in the ass in a variety of positions until the guy shoots a huge milky load on her tight asshole. Although the choppy editing and unusually loud licking sounds scream "low budget!", Zafira is more than hot enough to make you wish this scene lasted longer than 22 minutes.

Scene 2 (Miki; Length: 23:36): This scene is marred by poor lighting, choppy editing (again), a very uncomfortable looking actress, two unattractive men, and far too few shots of Miki's cute face and body (which we don't really discover until the last couple of minutes of the scene when we get a long overdue close-up of her sucking off one of the guys). The scene begins with Miki sitting on a white leather armchair surrounded by a pair of men, each sporting a dog collar and leash. First, Miki sucks the cock of guy-with-collar #2 while guy-with-collar #1 fucks her panties. (Really...he tightens the ass-end of her panties around his cock and goes to work.) Random shots follow, including a seconds-long bit of guy #1 getting tugged by Miki's feet, and guy #2 literally stuffing his balls into her mouth with his fingers, cramming every last bit of his sack into her throat. Many abrupt transitions ensue, from some deep throat action to more balls-in-mouth to fish-hooking to ample amounts of double penetration. Things do heat up a little towards the end, however, when we get a peek at Miki's gaping asshole and a few seconds of her sucking the come off guy #2's cock.

Scene 3 (Electra Angel; Length, 24:46): Next up we have Electra Angel who--despite having a slightly masculine face and wearing way too much make-up--is quite hot. Her body is long and tight and she has a sexy piercing at the top of her cunt. We meet Electra happily writhing around on a long couch, touching her ass and spreading her pussy for the camera. Suited-guy #1 emerges from the left and begins to lick her asshole. Minutes later Electra beckons to suited-guy #2 who is greeted with a sexy handjob and some fierce cock sucking. The guys then take turns getting sucked, deep throated, jerked off, and engaging in some double penetration. At one point, Electra stands to slip out of her black mini skit, sexily leaning forward to give us a great view of her nice ass. Choppy editing also plagues this scene but the sex is quite hot, especially when the alluring Electra is expertly sucking cock.

Scene 4 (Chloe; Length, 30:00): More guys in suits! This time we find faux-Latina Chloe sitting with legs apart on a coffee table in a living room ready to service her clients or colleagues or whatever. Chloe is the least attractive of the bunch, but her large dark eyes, tight little body and obvious craving for big cock are nonetheless sexy. Our business guys first get treated to Chloe blowing one and getting fucked, doggy style, by the other. She absolutely goes to work on the larger of the two cocks, devouring it in her mouth and aggressively jerking it with both hands. The guys then take turns fucking Chloe in a variety of positions, including reverse cowgirl, cowgirl (with two of her fingers jammed up her asshole), doggy, anal, and double penetration. The highlight: Chloe excitedly finger fucks herself while one monster cock pounds her asshole and another gets hungrily blown. Thankfully, this scene is much better filmed than the previous three, with less jarring edits and more hot angles. Even better, Chloe takes a 30 minute pounding by two giant cocks and looks like she enjoys every second of it.

Scene 5 (Nataly; Length, 19:10): Set in an oddly furnished basement (wood paneled walls adorned with a giant...stick? tree branch? driftwood?), Nataly gets right to rubbing her large, natural tits. Not content with just watching, our Night at the Roxbury-lite guy sucks greedily on her nipples. Finger fucking, cowgirl, blowjobs, titty fucking, doggy style, and anal ensue, made all the hotter by Nataly's bouncing tits. The shortest of the scenes at just over 19 minutes, the bit comes to a hot end with Nataly licking come off her beautiful tits.

Final Thoughts: This may not be a big deal to someone just looking for some hot action and great looking girls, but if you're turned on by actual Latinas, as I am, then you'll definitely want to skip this disc. While watching even the hottest scenes (namely Chloe's), it's impossible to ignore that this is a European production featuring non-Latin actors and actresses. Had this DVD billed itself as Balkan Babes Deluxe or something, I'd probably recommend it. But between the false advertising (shocking, I know!) coupled with some distracting editing, I can only advise you to rent this DVD. Yes, there are a couple of hot scenes, and the girls are mostly natural and pretty fine (especially Nataly), but at the end of the day, they're hot scenes of Europeans, not the "hotter than jalapeno" babes promised on the packaging.

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