Audio/Video Quality: Celebusluts was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director William H. Nutsack for Elegant Angel. The camera work was fairly solid with plentiful lighting to reduce the grain, video noise and shadows but the picture did not appear as crisp this time. This is one area that William can be less consistent so I applaud his efforts at improving quality in his better works; proving William works at making the best porn possible, even if he didn't reach that goal as well this time. I saw no compression artifacts (it was largely falling around the mid 5 Mbps video bitrate) and the composition of the camera angles strongly favored the female performers better than some of the director's previous, older, works (and on par with his more recent efforts for those in a comparison mode). The 2.0 Dolby Digital English track was pretty basic with little separation or dynamic range yet I could hear the cast well enough in most cases. The scenes were largely quiet so those of you into Nutsack's musical interludes might feel left out, even if the ending theme was cute (as expected). For those keeping track, the audio was offered in a 192 Kbps offering, plenty of room considering how little took place on it but leaving room for future efforts too.
-- sponsored by --
Body of Review: William H. Nutsack is one of my favorite directors for Elegant Angel or other gonzo companies these days thanks to his twisted creativity that often gives the viewer something extra from performers that have been overshot. I have not seen all of his recent titles but when a second copy of Celebusluts came in, I jumped on it since it sounded like my type of vignette driven release. The idea here was to offer up a slight parody of the tabloid tarts we see all too often proving that fame is considered intoxicating to the rich and stupid from what I can tell. The five scenes all mirrored the exploits of gals like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and the rest of the updated brat pack as they got into sexual situations of their own making. Had the movie's scenes stuck more closely to their real life counterparts, it might have stood out more from the pack but it was still a tidy little stroke flick for the masses to enjoy a number of times. If this sounds appealing to you, here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used:
Scene One: Nikki Kane, a cute little debutante in a red dress, was driving poorly at night when the massive Lee Stone, as a policeman, pulled her over for erratic driving. She claimed to have not had a drop to drink but her words were slurred and he gave her a drunk driving test that she failed. Lee made for the perfect cop (eerily so) and Nikki played the role of the impaired driver believably; though his car didn't have one of those partitions and he didn't handcuff her so purists might fuss a bit. He carted her off to jail and she whined like a spoiled brat; Lee taking the holier then thou rode until she convinced him that she could make an off the record deal. The arrangement they came too was creepy; sex for freedom, but he found her as appealing as I did as he roughly treated her curvy ass to a spanking; using his club in an inappropriate manner. For her part, she warmed up quickly to the idea, dropping to her knees to please him with a hummer; working the shaft in and out of her mouth gingerly as she concentrated on the top few inches of the cock sliding so gracefully down her throat. He did a standing 69 and they went to the Elegant Angel warehouse to continue since the side of the road wasn't a safe place for such antics. He spent some dedicated time going down on her precious pussy before banging her in numerous positions, the gal's all natural titties bouncing as she actively impaled herself on his dick while screaming in porn style. I really liked seeing her fleshy ass cheeks ripple when she turned to face him even more but it was a solid opening scene where the sweaty Lee and glistening Nikki gave a heated performance until he blasted her face with population pudding. It came out so hard that she winced and the scene finished up with him warning that she better be nice to him.
Scene Two: Jenna Haze, the award winning hotty on the front cover, was up next as she lounged in the sun while ignoring the advice of her personal trainer, Manuel Ferrara. She was a slacker that hired him solely for the status of having a trainer but he wasn't about to let her goof off as she got sweaty in the picturesque living room (with her "missing all her shows"). She started laughing at his efforts until he came to an idea she found more favorable for burning calories, seducing the guy as her workout clothing started coming off and he started licking her ass to her delight. He got a bit rough with her but her ass must have tasted excellent given the way he savored it for so long. He spent time on her cookie too, flipping her over for better access until she was dripping wet. Jenna then reciprocated with one of her sweet blowjobs that employed her hardy hand to gland combat style as the messy rod was coated with her saliva. The last scene was well done but this one benefited from more chemistry between the two performers; Jenna getting increasingly turned on as she was drilled by the studly meat puppet. He did most of the work during the initial penetration but the slender lady bounced on his rod when she was on top of it just fine. Her dirty talk also elevated the scene's heat for me, the various positions providing plenty of inspirational value before she took the facial in her mouth and swallowed it down whole. Whew!
Scene Three: Rebeca Linares, a sexy Latina in a black jumpsuit, was carrying on a conversation on her cell phone about getting publicity when she had the urge to merge in the back seat of her limousine. With no one around, she had to satisfy her own needs, masturbating in a scenic part of the valley before night came and paparazzi Brian Surewood caught her in a compromising position outside of her mansion. He kept shooting and she played the angry rich gal really well with her limited English. One thing led to another and the two got exceptionally friendly, showing the power of the press as he ate her front and back to her newfound appreciation of the press. Her erect nipples and elevated respiration rate showed she was getting into the admittedly scruffy looking Brian more than a little bit, his oral skills having long assisted him in this manner. Her rough blowjob skills (ie: giving awesome head while slapping his cock around) gave me the idea that I'd love a "kiss from Spain" too, the lack of a driver for the car kind of weird as all this went on. The standing vaginal sex was tough for her to really be aggressive on and the anal she took on the hood of the car looked very uncomfortable too but she was the one to take his cock to go from one hole to the next as it made her smile so she must have been turned on (that's a dangerous sexual practice no matter how clean a gal is). She did some face sitting to establish her dominance over him and then came out shining with her active anal antics that also employed her hip gyration. She jerked him off to her mouth (ATM) and the scene finished up fairly well as she booted his ass out of the garage. Yum!
Scene Four: Jamie Elle, a sexy gal pouting about her lack of being in the limelight, was up next as she fussed about the idea of using a sex tape to launch her back into the public eye. Her skimpy pink top was hanging off her like drapery and the black skirt hugged her lean hips nicely enough so even the fact that she was doing James Deen didn't bother me. The grainy look given the POV footage James shot was a not so sly nod to how poorly such sex tapes have been in recent years, Jamie aggressively working the top portion of his dick nicely as she smiled knowingly at the lens. The kitchen proved to be best for oral so they went to the living room couch for him to pound her pussy, Jamie using dirty talk to coax him into porking her increasingly deeper as a result. The doggy looked like fun but limited her ability to ride so I was glad when the various cowgirl variations came into play and she could bounce actively. The audio got hollow as a result of the cavernous room but she appeared to be having a decent time, trying several more positions until the doggy anal was passively handled by the hotty. She did some ATM and the ending facial was more of the grainy POV footage; making me laugh a little bit given the look on her face.
Scene Five: Julia Bond, a personal favorite of mine, was up last on the couch in her comfy contemporary clothing that included a brown bikini top and blue jean skirt that enhanced the look of her legs nicely. She was playing the daughter of a music producer that got bored with the lame musical abilities of Anthony Rosano; clearly wanting something else he had to offer. Had she known about his swordsmanship, she probably would have suffered through more of his singing and guitar playing but we all make mistakes, right? She made her move by crawling across the couch to free his cock from his pants, slobbing his modest knob with a degree of energy that I liked to see. This led to her sitting on his face for some 69 action, Julia attacking his wonder wand enthusiastically with her mouth and hands, leading to him sucking her foot as he began to pound her pussy. The missionary was a slow warm up for me but she pumped on the chump like crazy when she was on top of him, her fleshy ass cheeks rippling delightfully as he drilled the cookie balls deep. She did little dirty talking here (a missed opportunity!) and tried to make up for it with another of her newfound anal rides; the scene including PTM and ATM for those who care. It was a passive anal ride and not her first but I strongly suspect she'll get better with time; I know just the 2" long reviewer that would help her if she asked me...er, him, nicely. His load was minimal and went to her face as he jerked her off, ending a mixed scene but one I will watch again thanks to Julia's cuteness factor elevating it for me.
Summary: Celebusluts by director William H. Nutsack for Elegant Angel had a fine selection of ladies with decent sexual skills and the usual technical expertise the director is known for so I rated it as Recommended. There wasn't enough sparks flying between some of the couplings and the replay value was largely tied to the chemistry of the cast but as a fan of most of them, I can appreciate that finding men up to the same level is tough at times. Still, if you want a few laughs with your porn, you could do worse than Celebusluts; I just hope Nutsack goes a bit further if he decides to make a sequel.
---- You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon