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Debbie Loves Dallas

Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 9/26/07

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Debbie Loves Dallas: 3 Disc Set

Vivid Entertainment

Genre: Feature, Alt-Porn

Director: Eon McKai

Cast: Dana DeArmond, Tommy Pistol, Pixie Pearl, James Deen, Pixie Pearl, Daniel, Julius Ceazher, Icarus Corpse, Cassidey, Charlotte Stokely, Justin Syder, Monique Alexander
Non sex roles: Dave Naz, Jessica Nelson, Melodie Gore, Mike Maravich, Fred Lincoln, Simon Delo, and Smoking Mary Jane

Length: 117:44 minutes

Date of Production: 7/17/2006

Extras: Okay, there being three discs of extras, I figured I'd start with the music EP first. It was your usual compact disc and called The Dallas EP. The audio was presented in 2.0 LPCM with a bitrate of 1411 Kbps, each track offering a different kind of sonic experience. It came in a separate slipcover that went into a pocket on the DVD set's case. The tracks were as follows: 1. Dallas "Play Time": 4:05 minutes, heavy beat, sonically interesting with a distorted male vocal
2. Driver of the Year "Teenage Kicks": 4:23 minutes, wall of sound style, male vocal, used sampling from the movie
3. Hank IV "Crime of the Scene": 5:55 minutes, used sampling, guitar heavy, distorted in many cases
4. All Will Fall "Brickshard Foundry": 2:42 minutes, lame, sounded like death metal screeching
5. PopiKoK "Sweet Sixteen & Leather Boots": 5:25 minutes, in some respects similar to track 1
6. All Good Funk Alliance "Super Jam": 7:25 minutes long, used heavy sampling, funkier sounding than the others, danceable

The second disc was the main extras disc and as a DVD, had a long more room to hold material. It started out with the 4:10 minute long video for the Dallas song Play Time; an effects laden video with some nuity and mainly focused on a geeky guy wearing J-Lo glasses. I could picture this playing at a club for boozed up people quite easily. There were then six trailers to Vivid Alt productions, Eon's short film "Clean Hands, Dirty Photography" that lasted a whole 55 seconds with Dave Naz taking snapshots of Smoking Mary Jane (the female performer) as shot by Winkytiki (Octavio Arizala); a 7:45 minute series of Behind the Scenes still photographs, and ended with an 8:31 minute long commercial of sorts for "The Doll Underground". If you thought this (D<3D) was weird at times, you have not seen anything yet.

The first disc had the movie itself on it so I wasn't expecting a lot of extras. There was a complete script, though I didn't think it was completely faithful "as shot" to the movie in PDF form (which I totally hate) and an audio commentary during the movie. Whenever Eon and friends get together for an audio commentary, I envision there being a big party with multiple bowls of their favorite substances provided before they get started. The cast this time included Eon McKai himself who sort of led the discussion, cameraman/technical wizard Winkytiki (Octavio Arizala), alt-hotty Dana DeArmond and her significant other Daniel (whom she loves "very much"), Gene Platinum, Alaska, and I believe a couple of others (I might have missed it when they walked in or the voices of the others could have changed midstream). As my associate commented in the other review of the movie, they were having a bunch of fun during the recording and strayed quite a bit from discussion of the movie and its making but I couldn't stop listening to it (other than a quick trip for snacks and a potty break-gal pal wouldn't let me stop it as she didn't want to miss the vibe with a start/stop attitude like usual).

Condoms: None

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Audio/Video Quality: Debbie Loves Dallas was presented in an anamorphically enhanced 1.78:1 ratio widescreen offering as shot by director Eon McKai for Vivid Entertainment (under their Vivid Alt label). If you're new to Eon's works, keep in mind that his goal is to deglamorize porn and make the audience uncomfortable; this time doing as much in post production to achieve that effect as anything they shot on the sets by cameraman Winkytiki (Octavio Arizala). The lighting was all over the place, the resulting grain heavy in many scenes, and the cheesy porn transitional scenes a lot of laughs but it largely worked as a spoof of porn in general and the original Debbie Does Dallas (DDD) in specific so I just want readers to know what they are getting into. I prefer more classically lit porn that essentially emulates the look of television shows but those of you looking to be on the bleeding edge of visual artistry may want to give this one a look. The bitrate varied a lot but seemed to hover largely around the upper 5 Mbps to lower 7 Mbps range most of the time; with a few artifacts to be seen but no aliasing. The audio was presented in the usual 2.0 Dolby Digital English with the 192 Kbps bitrate that has become the standard. The vocals seemed to be a bit on the hollow side to me in many scenes (not all though), largely due to the kind of sets that were used in the production of the movie. There was substantially more separation in the music and the dynamic range of that area (all added in post production of course) was a marked improvement over past efforts by the director. I wish there had been an option to hear the score/music only this time given the issues with the vocals but that would have likely come at the expense of the bitrate for the video so I can live with it.

Body of Review: Earlier this year, Vivid made a splash with Debbie Does Dallas Again; an update of the classic title starring Bambi Woods about cheerleaders. There was something of a controversy surrounding the production that the world could see thanks to a reality show on Showtime HD that followed the potential players of the company around as they vied for control of the project and auditioned for roles, the movie ending up being directed by Paul Thomas (big surprise there, huh?). Well, off in the sidelines was the head of Vivid Alt, Eon McKai, and he made a creative pitch for an entirely different kind of movie to the bigwigs at Vivid Entertainment, one they gave the green light too, albeit with a substantially reduced budget, in the form of Debbie Loves Dallas: 3 Disc Set. As with any alt-porn project, Eon did not want to merely copy what went before him or slightly alter it as most of his peers are content with; finding that boring and not addressing his desire to create something new so he re-envisioned the concept to have the lead as a star stuck groupie chasing a popular band's lead singer; substantially altering the concept but keeping true to its roots. The back of the cover said it like this: "Debbie Loves Dallas (D<3D) does what other doesladen (yep, made-up word) Debbie remakes couldn't, or rather, wouldn't. Ok, so here, Debbie comes face to face with that Eon McKai character (2006 AVN award winner), no stranger to deconstructing adult film's most treasured franchises. Shot for cable television series Debbie Does Dallas Again, Eon fought to bring us the ultimate porno melting pot - an ensemble cast that's the who's who of porn's alt, proper and past, a completely fresh take on a classic adult film, and the cynical humor that we've come to expect from him. So, now Debbie's crushing on the synth-pop sensation Dallas, trying to hook up with the lead singer, and...confused? I bet...well, get used to it because this summer's hottest, feel-good, date movie is not being shown at the multiplex - you're looking at it! Oh, and we suggest screening it with mixed company. Alt porn starlets Charlotte Stokely, Dana DeArmond, and Pixie Pearl are joined by Vivid bad girl Cassidey with a special guest appearance from Monique Alexander and adult film legend FJ Lincoln andi2006 AVN award-winning Best Newcomer Tommy Pistol." In all, I am not the biggest fan of alt-porn in existence and as such I have deferred to my pal The Mooninite for such projects unless we get in multiple copies to review but I found this to be a more creative look at the franchise and worth a look. If you're still interested, here's a quick look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were worn but you should watch the storyline at least once to see the innovative direction Eon has taken his brand of porn:

Scene One: Dana DeArmond, the multicolored hair gal on the middle of the left hand side of the cover, was up first having played a dancer for a parody video named "Tammy" (with pale skin, acting like a porno valleygirl). She hooked up with Tommy Pistol, playing an over the top weirdo who could supply you with any substance of choice you wanted; be it food, tickets to any concert, or whatever (cough). They were in the van as part of his "taboo fantasy thing" on the "grope slope", her vacuous character jumping his bones the first chance she had; wanting his cock. She devoured his cock and gave him one of her best hummers, though why he started off completely limp is a mystery to me. The scene dynamic then had then engage in penetrative sex as he poked her pussy and ass with Dana taste testing in between positions. The bad news for me was that the scene showed her to be a largely passive receiver of his pumping rather than actively pushing back, as much a factor of their cramped environment as anything else. The oral was solid and the fucking was on the weak side, the scene ending with a traditional mouth pop; the couple showing some chemistry but not letting it play out onscreen as much as in previous pairings.

Scene Two: Pixie Pearl, a tall pale brunette who was also a dancer in the video, was up next on the couch with druggie James Deen. He wanted to bone his galpal Cassidey but she was giving him a sexual time out over doing coke in front of her though apparently this did not bother her that he could fuck Pixie. He took awhile to get hard too, Cassidey even making fun of the situation from the sidelines, Pixie slobbing his knob as though desperate for some population pudding. As the scene progressed, he fucked her mouth and got a short titty fuck, Pixie sucking his nuts while jerking him off way too much for my tastes before they fucked. She was a more enthusiastic rider of cock as she bounced her pussy on his rod, doing PTM between some of the positions until the Dallas song Play Time was edited into it. I hate non sex footage interrupting my porn as it lowers the stroke value and gave me the creeps in the case of this singer, though I'm led to believe that people doing heavy amounts of drugs are not so picky. The face pop was standard once it got back to normal but the colors and visuals of the scene looked weaker when the sex came back into focus that I was left a bit cold.

Scene Three: Dana DeArmond, Pixie Pearl, Daniel, Julius Ceazher, and Icarus Corpse, were up next in a recording studio orgy after some weird internet chatting (you have to see it). That the name "Shauna Grant" ( a deceased porn star that committed suicide) was bandied about as the girlfriend's name was troublesome for me but I have to admit the beauty shop and the transitional footage was a hoot. Dana was more sexually aggressive this time and her chemistry with Daniel was undeniable, Icarus getting some oral attention from her too as Pixie stuck with blowing the chocolate flavored cock of Julius. Dana's ample titties gave some frictional play here too, her "hand in mouth" trick back in focus before the men started vaginally screwing her. Dana was more active this time but the claustrophobic setting really did not work that well for me overall. Julius seemed to invoke the loudest vocal response from either gal as he drilled them, the over the top shouting by the ladies reminding me to drop the sound levels down the next time I watch this one but there was a certain degree of energy going between the players this time that even the admittedly weird visual effects used to capture it could not diminish. The facials closed things out as the gals cumswapped the semen between each other; reminding me that the limited amount of lesbian pairing they did previously (while being poked and prodded) was below normal for a porno.

Scene Four: Cassidey, as the lead of the movie (seen wearing sneakers on the lower left hand corner of the cover), was up next with the darling of alt-porn, blond Charlotte Stokely (seen dominating the cover on the upper middle), as the two groupies were given the opportunity to prove who could suck cock best with Justin Syder; playing the security for the band. He made the deal that the best of them could meet the lead singer so the competitive aspect of the scene enhanced the dynamic more than a little as they dissed each other to get at his cock. Both gals could suck a mean cock and the catty manner in which they fought over it made the scene better; perhaps the closest to a mainstream BJ scene I would expect from a movie made by Eon; Charlotte taking the facial to spit it all over Cassidey before Justin cheated them out of their hard earned reward.

Scene Five: Monique Alexander, Cassidey, and Pixie Pearl, were up next as they engaged in lesbian sex during the quest to meet the band. Monique was wearing a slutty skirt and soon removed Cassidey's clothing on the bed, Pixie jumping in to get some of her "fucking slut" friend too. The licking, fingering, and other lesbian action was ripe with all the clichés of porn, Cassidey elevating the dynamic by having Monique slap her clitoris harder than normal as if to prove she was a sensation slut. Pixie was markedly paler than the other two gals, almost frog belly white by comparison, but what I liked about this passionate and fun scene the most was how into the action they all were. Cassidey has long been into the female form and Monique started off giving her best work with other ladies so the dedication both showed added to the enthusiasm and chemistry here with no toys used other than hands, fingers, and tongues. It was cute that the original DDD was playing in the background but my only issue with the scene was how often Pixie would look off screen as if to get marching orders on what to do (coming across as less into it than the other two established names were). Yum!

Scene Six: Charlotte Stokely, this time wearing a mullet hairstyle, finally hooked up with the object of her desire, lead singer of the band Alex Gonz. The sparks flew as he stripped down, the devoted groupie doing her best to make him feel great as she aggressively blew him in the cramped room. He was coated in sweat really early into the scene and her make up was smearing all over the place but the messy hummer was another winner for me. There was some titty fucking and she presented herself to him in doggy fashion with her yellow panties on, but the scene was interrupted before completion thanks to a bunch of cock blockers.

Scene Seven: Cassidey, finally getting her chance with Alex Gonz after the concert, went up to the apartment with him to engage in some more standardized porn sex. They stripped down before she inhaled his cock with a fine hummer, the guy kissing her between deepthroating sessions, until they started to bone. She was dripping in sweat this time too, the doggy, reverse cowgirl, and missionary sex kind of anticlimactic since he did all of the work after the oral. The camera work was atrocious as was the editing, reminding me of some porn shot back in the day of the original DDD. It ended when he busted a nut on her toes and she gave him a post coital footjob, rubbing his seed between her toes as the camera faded away to the roadies putting away the gear in the trailer.

Summary: Debbie Loves Dallas by director Eon McKai for Vivid Entertainment was a bizarre love triangle that I found to be substantially flawed in many ways were I to judge it on the basis of a standard, mainstream porno but keeping in mind the audience it was intended for, I found it to be quite interesting in many ways. The extras were solid, if lighter than a three disc package would suggest, the casting for the roles was in keeping with alt-porn edicts, and the creative manner in which budgetary limits were sidestepped by the director to add an extra layer of cheese indicative of porn certainly added to the fun. The music was generally a couple of notches above what I'm used to in a porno and there were some solid sexual pairings albeit not what I would have preferred in most cases, so I rated this one as Recommended. In short, half the fun of Debbie Loves Dallas: 3 Disc Set was in getting to the sex and while the more traditional Debbie Does Dallas Again will probably appeal to more fans of feature porn than this one ever will, I have to concur with my friend The Mooninite's Take that this was something special; making me wonder if Vivid Alt might have reached the point where I should seek out more of their works. To sum it all up in one sentence: "This was not the kind of porn your father used to watch."

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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