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Milf Lessons 13


Studio: Bang Bros » Review by Crimson Clown » Review Date: 10/22/07


XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

Older women are my absolute poison, and “Milf Lessons 13” is a movie I prayed would deliver, regardless of the unlucky number. Director J.R. has no flair for camera work, but he sure knows how to set up expectations when it comes to the opening menu and the presentation of this compilation. The segments are five detached little twenty minute intervals featuring an interesting set up and the inevitable hot Milf loving that proceeds with surprising steam, and the viewer is allowed to pick a segment based on the actress, and can also decide which section to begin with, including sucking, fucking, and cum shot.

Milf One: Mrs. Milanto
J.r.’s camera work is sucky here. Resembling a public access show more than a porno, we center in on the raven haired Mrs. Milanto, who is confronting a young (as young as a mid twenty something guy can get) student about causing problems in class, and her lesson after school soon gets out of hand. Her lesson about penises soon turns into an actual oral exam as her taunting student puts the moves on the gorgeous Mrs. Milanto, who is shockingly dressed like a real teacher. Or at least that’s how teachers dressed in my school. None were as hot as Mrs. Milanto sadly. The lesson tenses as the student approaches his teacher up at the blackboard and begins making out with her, as she undresses revealing a hot black top under the pink tank top and a gorgeous ass.

Mrs. Milanto looks absolutely hot and is a wonderful opening segment for this good compilation. She has a hot tattoo, doesn’t look too much like a Milf, but that’s okay, because she has a gorgeous curvy body that her student takes full advantage of. Milanto brings her man down and sucks him off for a good long while along her desk, giving hot intense glances to the audience, and working his shaft passionately. And of course, before she begins riding him, she places a condom on him, because it’d be hypocritical to have unprotected sex with a sex ed teacher. She’s planted on her desk with legs wide open and is fucked raw by her student as her erect nipples bounce with her groans becoming louder and louder. Milanto then mounts her mate taking it up her gorgeous ass, and is bent over to be pounded. This is a bit of a softer segment than I originally assumed it would be. The partner pounds Milanto but always seems hesitant to really put some energy into it. Beyond that, it’s a great opener.

Milf Two: Ms. Valentino

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This segment is much different than the first but with pretty much the same concept. However, there is the use of extras who make up the class before the inevitable fuck session. That’s quality. An English teacher is teaching about pronouns, and is experiencing a talkative classmate named Julian. Ms. Valentino is the teacher that sex fantasies are made of, and you can pretty much find this type of teacher there. She has long brown hair, a good amount of make up, and a white suit shirt that parts around her bulging cleavage. But it’s forgivable when you see how utterly gorgeous Ms. Valentino is. She has an absolutely killer body to work with, and really does teach Julian about discipline. And she also has a bit of a resemblance to Amy Lee of Evanescence, which is pretty helpful to the overall fantasy considering who Amy Lee is. She teaches him something by unleashing her bulging beautiful breasts much to Julian’s delight, and we know they’re big since the director zooms in and out on them like a preteen spotting his neighbor across the street.

They’re big, we get it. And as she brings him down on her desk, she goes down on him, and for a moment we awkwardly just see the top of her hair line going up and down until finallywe pan down to reveal she’s sucking him off. Good job, Mr. Director! She then mounts Julian and rides his cock looking damn statuesque doing so with her shirt clinging down her waist resembling somewhat of a corset. To add to the repertoire of clumsy direction, the camera man zooms into Ms. Valentino having considerable trouble inserting Julian’s hard on into her rump and almost slams into her waist at one point. After ten minutes of repetitive moaning, she bends over on the desk softly being fucked from behind, adding nothing to the overall progressing lethargy to the segment, but hell Mrs. Valentino is so fucking hot, it was difficult not to enjoy this.

Milf Three: Mrs. Holly
Mrs. Holly is a very sexy older blond woman who I assume is talking to a student, because in all honesty, I couldn’t understand a damn thing she was saying. I checked the wires on my DVD player, all good, and then I realized she’s out of range of the goddamn boom mic! I don’t know what it is she was telling her student, but I didn’t need to, because it was pretty obvious where this is leading. Sitting down at her desk with a pink top that was practically falling apart before she even took it off, she decided to discipline her disrespectful student by bending him over and giving him a damn good whooping. Me next, please. The guy must have loved it because he seemed to barely be able to restrain his laughter. Mrs. Holly is another in a damn good variety of Milfs, and a la “Three’s Company,” Principal buffman enters to stop her punishment, and he begins to teach her a thing about proper discipline.

After obligatory back and forth, Principal buffman begins nibbling her on gorgeous breasts, she nibbles on his pecks, and they get to work on her desk. Mrs. Holly is one of the few on this compilation who looks like a Milf. She’s wrinkled, freckled, and still has an amazing body, not to mention a gorgeous face and sly irritating demeanor. She mounts Principal buffman and sucks him off with slow and steady precision, and then mounts her on her desk sans the condom. He plays in and out for a few minutes as she groans with a bit of frustration, and clutches the desk as someone her finally pounds the hot teacher. Buffman sits at her chair, and she rides his cock backwards, flaunting her gorgeous physique for him, and is bent over and dominated along her desk assumedly giving him an A teaching her about proper disciplinary procedures.

Milf Four: Ms. Maya
Ms. Maya makes the Milf title work further as she’s another teacher entering her class and looking damn fine doing it. She’s also dressed casually apart from Mrs. Holly, and also looks like an actual Milf. She looks old enough to taste the young man pool, but not so old where it’s gross. Ms. Maya is flirtatious from the get go and proceeds to flirt with her student who she is presumably having a one on one study session with. See, that’s the reason why we’re having so much school sex, because we keep allowing these good looking guys to have private study sessions with these hot teachers. Something must be done. Can anyone tell me where this school is? Making it painfully obvious, Ms. Maya straddles the corner of her desk with her legs spread and reveals more of her cleavage, until finally she begins undressing revealing her gorgeous breasts clinging to a yellow tank top. I just wish these performers didn’t look into the camera.

This POV gimmick isn’t hot. She leans over on her student and begins sucking him off at his desk; now that’s a teacher who puts a lot of herself into her work. After sucking him off, she strolls over to her desk, undresses and bends over showing off her large ass and sizable breasts. The honor student rushes over and begins pounding her from behind as she giggles, and leans over to spread her body along the desk as he pounds her hard. Her screams and marvels at the royal fucking she’s getting while plucking at her tits, and lays her student out on the floor riding him hard, and turns to ride him backwards with her body and tits high in the air. How she stays balanced on those high heels is an act all on its own. Ms. Maya is another highlight for this great compilation and is a damn good change of pace for what was becoming a repetitive movie.

Milf Five: Ms. Sheila
Further adding to the bordello school, a student is late for class, which is clear since he’s the only student in the room besides another guy. He must be about three hours late. Ms. Sheila must really want to fuck. Ms. Sheila is another great performer in this grouping as she’s a tan and very gorgeous Milf with long black hair, and dressed in jeans and a tight purple top that splits down her cleavage. Wouldn’t it be cool if we had a porno where our actress starts out dressed in a biohazard outfit, and the rest of the segment involves her stripping endlessly? I digress. Deciding to teach him a lesson, Ms. Sheila with her capital breasts, flaunts and teases her only student by straddling her desk and sucking on a pencil, until he drifts over undressing.

Lifting her shirt off, she has a gorgeous purple bra that practically breaks off mid undressing, and she teases by leaning over to suck off her naked student undressing only half the way, while the other male attendant watches anxiously. She finally grabs her other student and undresses him, and bends down to give him a hand job and blow him, which is odd to watch considering the student isn’t indicating that he’s hot for her, if you understand what I mean. She plants them both on the desk sucking them off one after the other, and finally undresses, showing her plump rump, and gorgeous tits in all their glory. They then dominate her as she lays along the desk being pounded in one hole and sucking one off on the other end, and after considerable intense double play, takes two to the tits finishing off a rather great compilation.

Odds & Ends

Audio/Visuals:
This looks a lot like a typical porno. The camera is shaky, the direction really sucks, and the picture has a very grainy and dull quality to it. All the colors are very dull and lethargic, adding a lack of energy to the overall movie. J.R. is probably the worst of the directors here as he seems to be unable to control his camera and can’t set up a shot to save his life. The audio is also pretty sucky, as sometimes you can hear dialogue, but with certain segments like Mrs. Holly and Ms. Valentino, there’s really no use in trying to make out what they’re saying. The sound is the worst aspect of this product.

Goodies:
On the extras, we’re not given too much of anything to nibble on after the feature. The DVD specs on Adult DVD Empire has a list featuring outtakes, and behind the scenes, but upon examination, we’re only given two measly extras. We have five short trailers for Bang Bros. titles like Diesel Dongs 1, and Milf Soup 2, and a series of stills per actress featuring stills from the movie that are rather dull.

After Thought:
“Milf Lessons 13” is not a great a DVD presentation for the consumer. The sound is bad, the picture is choppy, and the extras absolutely suck, but there are some absolutely beautiful Milfs here who engage in sexy, humorous and goofy segments with a lot of entertainment value for the audience. I loved the women, particularly Mrs. Holly.


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