XCritc.com Adult DVD Reviews
Porn Reviews » Adult Movie Reviews » Swallow My Children

Swallow My Children

Studio: Metro » Review by The Mooninite » Review Date: 10/24/07

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

The Movie:

Is there a man alive who doesn’t enjoy a good blowjob from time to time? Probably, but they’ve got to be the exception and not the rule. For as long as people have been having sex, men have enjoyed blowjobs – there’s plenty of historical evidence to back this up, trust me – and it’s that fact that Rob Rotten and his motley crew of tattooed titty girls have decide to cash in on this time around. Swallow My Children has no story, no plot, and no recurring characters, it’s simply fifteen different girls giving a bunch of dudes head for two hours.

Needless to say, the release caters to a very specific niche market or kink, referred to from here on out as ‘blowjob enthusiasts.’ So how does Rob’s cocksucking compilation stack up against other all oral extravaganza’s like the Pop series from Ninn Worx? Well, it doesn’t really do much to differentiate itself as far as the cinematography or content goes. Instead, the strength of the picture lies in the casting. Take a look at this roster of cock craving cuties…

Sasha Grey
Daisy Tanks
Fayth Deluca
Chavon Taylor
Marsha Lord
Allison Pierce
Leighani Red
Roxy DeVille
Laurie Vargas
Jocelyn Jayden
Heater Gables
Whitney Stevens
Kaylee Love Cox
Britney Stevens
Mercedes Santos


Not a bad line up at all! That said, despite the fact that the vast majority of these girls are quite easy on the eyes and each and every one of them sucks dick with rampant enthusiasm, how much play you get out of this release depends completely on whether or not you’re a blowjob enthusiast. Don’t expect much in the way of foreplay or warm up, the scenes simply start with the girl gobbling a dong and end with a wad to the face or tits. There’s no vaginal or anal penetration here, this is strictly oral sex from start to finish save for a few seconds of handjob and titty fucking spliced in.

-- sponsored by --

To Rotten’s credit, to spice things up a bit he does throw in a few goofy skits between scenes to inject some humor into the feature. The opening bit goes on a little too long but it is rather amusing and once the oral begins, if it’s your kink you’re bound to forgive whatever hammy intros Ron throws your way. That said, sometimes the humor works… and sometimes it doesn’t. The truly unusual scenes with Mr. Angus McGillicutty are a shining example of that. The cow-punk soundtrack, however, is pretty killer and it fits right in with Rob’s gutter punk/sleazeball aesthetic.



This shot on video production looks pretty clean presented here in a reasonably stable 1.85.1 anamorphic widescreen presentation. There is some mild edge enhancement in a couple of spots and a noticeable bit of Mpeg compression evident in some of the darker colors and the blacks but other than that, there's not a lot to complain about. Skin tones look nice and natural, the compositions are dead on, and aside from the fact that this digital video production looks like a digital video production and as such suffers from the minor defects usually associated with the format, everything is coming up roses as far as the look of the film is concerned.


The Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround track is quite sufficient despite the fact that it’s ridiculously loud – once you turn the volume down, things are fine. The dialogue comes through cleanly and clearly as do all of the moans and groans. The soundtrack is mixed in properly at a respectable level most of them time but there are a few spots where the music is definitely louder than it needed to be and as such it slightly overshadows the speaking parts when they do occur. Bass response is nice and lively and overall, for a porno movie, this is a better than average effort.


First up is Angus McGillicutty which is a strange segment in which an even stranger effeminate man (he pops up in the feature a couple of times) rants to the camera before we watch some dude piss on the roof and then see Rob get his cock sucked. This thirteen-minute featurette goes back and forth between Angus and Rob, both interacting with some of the cast from the film. A Behind The Scenes segment is up next, and running for just over an hour, it does a good job of showing us what it was like on the set before closing with more of Angus’ ranting. We see the cast in action and we also see them in a more relaxed environment. There are a few interviews in here mixed in with the random backstage clips.

Rounding out the extras on the first disc are trailers for a few other Loaded Digital releases. There’s also a still gallery, a pop shot menu, a weblink and some phone sex ads.

Also included with this release is a second bonus disc containing a second feature called Little Solo Sensations. Contained on this disc are five scenes wherein a pretty girl (or in the case of the first scene, girls) finger fuck themselves for the camera.

The first scene features Britney and Whitney Stevens fingering each other in a red shower enclosure. These busty, tattooed Latin ladies finer themselves for the camera until they climax. Fayth Deluca sits outside in a wicker chair and rubs her lovely shaved pussy for the leering lens. Mercedes Santos stands on the patio and shakes her thing for a few before letting her fingers do the walking, and then pretty pierced punker Daisy Tanks sits by the side of the pool and treats us to an uncensored look at her special alone time rituals. Kaylee Love Cox is up next as we interrupt her finger banging session on the brown suede couch inside. Leighlani Red kneels on the tiled floor and sucks her tits for us before slipping a finger or two into her pussy. Marsha Lords sits in the chair where we last saw Fayth do her thing, and she follows suit with a nice solo performance. From there we get a look at Chavon Taylor as she does her thing, showing off her curvy ass and tits as she diddles away. Heather Gables shows up in some thigh high socks and fingers her shaved snatch for us as she leans on the stairs outside and then the always playful Roxy DeVille takes us to the bedroom and gives us a private show. Sasha Grey, looking very sexy with her nylons and her pigtails, shows the camera what she’s not supposed to do, and this is followed by Brandi and Allison Pierce enjoying the great outdoors as they watch one another finger their pussies. This second feature isn’t very long, in fact it runs just over an hour, but it’s well shot and the girls all look quite sexy as they pleasure themselves.

Special features on the second disc are limited to a web link, scene selection and some animated menus.

Final Thoughts:

Blowjob enthusiasts are going to enjoy this one no matter what but even those out there who have only a passing interest in oral compilations should find something to dig here. The sex is hot even if the range is limited and the girls are all quite attractive. The added bonus of the second feature gives the release a bit more bang for the buck and Swallow My Children comes recommended.

comments powered by Disqus
Popular Reviews

The Preacher's Daughter
First Anal 2
Hot Wife 2
Nurses Takin' On Big Dicks 3
The Feral Woman
My Sister's Hot Friend 49
Angela Loves Men 2
Anal Threesomes
Curvy Girl Sexercise

Best Sellers

Featured Reviews

Get XCritic Via Email:

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner