Cast: Staci Thorn, Jenner, Kelly Wells, Sascha, Sindee Jennings, Lee Stone, Aubrey Adams, August
Sascha working out a deal with Kelly Wells.
Length: 135:09 minutes
Date of Production: 6/28/2007
Extras: The best extra was easily the 21:28 minute long Behind the Scenes feature that was as much a number of clips from the photo sessions as the gals in make up or some minor portions from the scenes. There was also a photogallery but that was all.
August's ass looked good to Aubrey Adams.
Audio/Video Quality: Paris & Nicole Go To Jail was presented in an anamorphic widescreen color with an aspect ratio of about 1.78:1 as shot by director Jordan Septo for Exquisite. Having watched a lot of Jordan’s titles in recent years, I know he has devoted his career to shooting full frame gonzo so I’m not sure exactly what I was expecting this time; knowing the learning curve for features as well as anamorphic widescreen. The lighting was okay but the fleshtones looked slightly washed out and the best use of the entire frame was not provided here. In time, the director will undoubtedly catch on to the full benefits of the process but this looked almost like porn shot on film (generally a bad idea even with the resources of huge companies like Wicked Pictures) with some grain and video noise marring the picture too. The composition of the shots were about what I expected of the guy, the women almost always looked their best, and the bitrate was in the lower end of the 4 Mbps area so I didn’t see a lot of compression artifacts, but I expect more in the future. The audio was presented in the standard 2.0 Dolby Digital English using a 192 Kbps rate; the vocals sounding hollow and the music not a factor this time. There was no separation between the channels and the dynamic range was kind of weak too; the humming of the camera apparently not dealt with in some of the scenes in post production.
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Aubrey and Sindee shared the load in scene five.
Body of Review: Jordan Septo has been distributed by Exquisite for awhile now, staying with the gonzo format in his projects as the easiest to convey that sexual vibe he elicits from his performers. In an attempt to try something new, he decided to try his hand at porn parody with Paris & Nicole Go To Jail. The idea has been used by others of late, goofing on Paris Hilton’s legal troubles though thankfully not using the real thing as Paris is skankier looking than most performers I’ve run into over the years. The parody was not well thought out though since it really did not do that much with the plot or dialogue, barely scratching the surface of the concept, yet offering some okay sex scenes. The back cover said it like this: “Paris and Nicole live very sexy lives filled with wealth, beauty and fame. But all that couldn't save these Beverly Hills Princesses' from the long arm of the law. And when they get their spoiled little asses thrown in jail, they find themselves leading completely different lives. In the end, they have a much better time then expected. They have some very sexy adventures with their new friends. And they learn how to use their own bodies as currency to survive and get what they want. That's hot.” If you’re still interested, here’s a quick look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used:
Scene One: Staci Thorn, a lean blond that has been in porn for awhile, was up first as she endured a cavity search by guard Jenner after he gave her the speech about cooperation making a stay in jail better. He took advantage of the situation by exploring her mouth, pussy, and ass with the help of some latex gloves; making it clear that his word was law. He actually lost the gloves early on to go digging bare handed, spanking her from time to time to maintain his dominance as she was handcuffed to the hospital bed. He had her blow him before he spit on her ass a second time, drilling his cock in deeply as she made slightly anxious moans in favor of his continuing. That wasn’t very exciting as she was mostly passive but she took the anal better; eventually riding him fairly well. She provided some dirty talk too but not enough to make a difference; the resulting load of population pudding hitting her mouth but not swallowed from the looks of it.
Scene Two: Kelly Wells, playing a toughened convict, was getting off knowing the two “Beverly Hills bitches” were doing her work for her; asking Sascha the guard if she could work a “special detail” instead. Her fetching orange jumpsuit did nothing for her but her oral skills need no assistance by sexy clothing so she aggressively slobbed his knob with a degree of gusto as she deepthroated him to the point that her make up ran. The saliva went all over the place and while I don’t exactly find her to be particularly attractive, she has been an extreme queen for awhile now and capable of taking all kinds of abuse easily. He throat fucked her until it was anal sex time, fucking her ass and making her do ATM the way she wanted. She was begging for more cock in her ass as she impaled herself on the cock; the duo tackling numerous positions actively before he busted a nut in her mouth. Fans of choking will appreciate that he caused her to change a few shades of dark red before the end of the show but it was a small load for those who care.
Scene Three: Sindee Jennings, the hotty on the right hand side of the front cover, was up next as she portrayed Paris Hilton squealing to the warden played by the massive Lee Stone. To me, Sindee is a lot better looking than the heiress so I enjoyed watching her receiving some oral pleasure on the couch from the muscular dude. He spent a lot of time eating her asshole, this causing her to laugh out loud, before she started actively sucking his dick as if her first meal in a long time. Seeing her lips wrapped around his huge penis as he diddled her pussy was fun though she slowed down considerably to ride the white horse. She was probably the most consistently active vaginal rider in the movie once warmed up though, draining him dry as he blasted his nut up her nose and into her eye. Whew!
Scene Four: Aubrey Adams, the hotty on the left hand side of the front cover, was up next with established professional August, in a jail scene together. Aubrey played the role of Nicole Richie; another hotty looking far better than the person she was acting like. Fans of lesbian action will appreciate that both of these gals seemed capable of doing all the usual tricks with a smile and sense of purpose; diddling, licking, and rubbing each other in heated fashion. I especially liked it when August sat on Aubrey’s face but the raw edges of the sex were captured fairly well with the exception being how the use of sex toys was not the best. The pussy grinding was better but the ending mutual masturbation struck me as a means to close things out in a clumsy manner so it did not live all the way up to its potential (limited dirty talk and foot fetish material notwithstanding).
Scene Five: Aubrey Adams and Sindee Jennings, playing the notorious duo in the final sex scene, decided to play along with the guard to get out of doing their work detail. This time, Sascha was the guard and they were outside in the shade, the gals doing a lot of oral on him and each other before they took turns riding his cock fairly well vaginally. Unlike some of the other scenes, the gals never let up as they continued to enjoy themselves, using his large nightstick when his cock was otherwise occupied. Aubrey was the better of the two ladies when it came to riding and Sindee seemed more suited for the oral but it wasn’t a bad scene with the ladies taking the facial at the end.
Summary: Paris & Nicole Go To Jail by director Jordan Septo for Exquisite was worth a rating of Rent It from me since it had a decent female cast, fair technical values, and okay extras but never lived up to the potential of the elements at work here. I like parody porn a lot more than some people but that makes me a harsh critic when a title is marketed as such and doesn’t go anywhere with it. In short, some better writing might have given Paris & Nicole Go To Jail the edge it needed to provide better replay value (and elevate the score) but as it was, I know Jordan can do a lot better so I await his next foray into the genre.
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