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My Neighbor's Sex Tapes

Studio: Juicy Entertainment » Review by Alexander » Review Date: 11/10/07

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Studio: Juicy

Genre: POV, Gonzo

Director: Cezar Capone

Length: 1:49:20

Condoms: No

Cast: Ruby Knox, Lily Rose Ray, Cheyanne Sweet, Christine Alexis, Diamond Cam, Kara Bare, Cock Diesel

First Impressions: Despite the "Rent It" rating I gave Cezar Capone's Filthy's Sinoritas, I had high hopes for My Neighbor's Sex Tapes. Why? Because smokin' hot newcomer Ruby Knox--the best thing by far in Sinoritas--makes an appearance here, this time anchoring a flick that looked--at least from the hotties on the box art, anyway--far more promising than Capone's other offering. 

Audio/Visual Quality: Audio-wise, the "dialogue" is appropriately loud and clear.  There is a bit of ambient noise, but the incessant buzzing will only prove distracting if you like your porn volume cranked up to wall-vibrating levels.  Visually, My Neighbor's Sex Tapes is presented in a 4:3 aspect ratio and is plagued, unfortunately, by quite the grain typical of stuff shot first for the net then transferred to DVD.  However, because we're supposed to seeing some pilfered "neighbor's sex tapes," I'll give the production a bit of a pass on the lack of sharpness and occasional poor lighting in some of the scenes given the premise.  But there's no excuse at all at the all-important cum shot getting lost in shadows and poor camera angles, which occurs in the disc's very first scene.                 

Extras:What extras? Aside from a grainy four-minute slideshow and a pair of trailers (POV Fixation and Behind the Lens With Jenna Jameson), there's nothing else. (Even the sub-par Sinoritas had 11 trailers!)       

Scene 1 (Christine Alexis): It's evening and we discover Crissy snuggled up on reclining Cock Diesel's lap.  There's a bit of playful banter, some tickling (aww...), and close-ups of Crissy's huge brown eyes.  Enter Christine Alexis.  She's tan and thin and blessed with a beautiful pair of small-ish tits and sexy pierced nipples.  The three chat for a few seconds before the two girls remove their tops and begin their work on their host's cock. 

Christine is a little stiff and it's obvious that she's nervous, but her gorgeous body sort of negates whatever awkwardness she brings to the scene.  Diesel's alarmingly limp member ("Wake up, COCK!  You've got two hot blondes sitting in your lap!" I wanted to yell at Diesel's flaccid member) finds its way into Crissy's mouth before she literally hands it over to Christine who seems grateful for having something to do. A sort-of-weak blow job ensues, with the action only heating up when confident pro Crissy jams Diesel's slowly hardening rod into her throat.  A little mouth-fucking ensues before we abruptly cut into the apartment, where Diesel is now standing and thrusting his long narrow pole into Christine's pretty mouth.  And Crissy? She looks on, bored. 

Cut to our two girls leaning against a wall.  Diesel fucks Christine hard from behind. However, too much of this bit features close-ups of cock entering pussy (ho-hum) when what I really wanted to see was more of Christine's boner-inducing body, face, and hair (confession: I love the black-on-the-bottom, blonde-on-top, pink-at-the-ends dye job that Christine sexily rocks). 

Next, like a heat seaking missle, Diesel's cock jumps to Crissy's cunt and then...well, we get the two lowlights of the scene.  Crissy's asshole is, well, black, and could use a dose (or two) of bleach. And for the finale, after pounding Christine side-saddle style, Diesel jerks his load onto her stomach, but we can't even see the cum find its target because of the poor lighting and heavy grain. Worse, instead of greedily sweeping the cum from her stomach and rubbing it on her lips or something, Christine sits, rigid and confused and looks afraid to even avert her glance.  Awkward!     

Scene 2 (Kara Bare): Most of the beginning of this scene involves a.) Crissy taking a shower, b.) a series of super-tight pore-amplifying close-ups of Crissy's cute face, and c.) Crissy giving Diesel a blowjob.  And once again, despite having a hot girl slurping and stroking and swallowing his rod, it takes Diesel a while to get fully erect (which is really confusing to me because I'm sitting here watching all of this on my laptop monitor and I'm rock hard.  This guy is actually getting his cock sucked, and I'm harder than him! What the fuck?!)

Anyway, ten minutes in we hear a knock at the door.  It's neighbor Kara Bare!  Perfect timing, Kara!  She's cute as hell with some intense blue eyes and a tiny bikini that finds its way to the floor in mere minutes. Some throat fucking, missionary, and doggie ensue, with again, too many close-ups on Diesel's cock entering Kara's cunt, and far too few shots of this cutie's face and body.  It's shots of hot girl's bodies and faces scrunching up in pleasure that I like to jerk off to, not another scene of another cock thrusting in and out of yet another shaved pussy. 

Scene 3 (Diamond Cam): Crissy is interviewed. Blah blah blah.  And then Diamond Cam enters.  The two begin peeling the clothes off each other's bodies and it's far hotter than I expected it to be.  I mean, Crissy is cute, but not hot, and Diamond is a little too hard-bodied and rigged-breasted for my taste...but I still found this short dual strip-tease erotic as hell and worth stroking off to.  

Up next: Diamond leans forward, showing off her deliciously round ass and gets fucked, of course, doggie-style while she nibbles on Crissy's pussy.  Cut to Crissy getting pounded for a couple of minutes missionary-style while Diamond flicks her tongue across Crissy's erect clit. Cut again to Diamond being drilled by Diesel, also missionary-style, until he shoots a frighteningly powerful stream of cum the length of Diamond's torso and into her hair. 

It's not a particularly well-filmed scene (again, there are way too many close-ups), but of the three segments so far, this one packs the most heat.  The girls obviously dig each other, and while I wasn't especially turned on by Diamond's hard, muscle-y bod, I was seriously aroused by her confidence and attitude. (Few things are sexier than a well-timed raised eyebrow.)

Scene 4 (Lily Rose Ray): Diesel and Crissy are trolling the streets of Miami looking for another party for their threesome.  And wouldn't you know it, after a few minutes of pounding the pavement, the pair find a very willing partner in Lily Rose. If it were only that easy!  Anyway, this sequence is way too long at six minutes since we know that Lily is going to end up eventually at Diesel's ocean-view pad with his cock worming its way down her throat.  No need for exposition here.  So we finally do get indoors and mercifully it's only a matter of minutes before Crissy and Lily are stripped down to their thongs (revealing a very nice firm, round ass on Lily) with their tongues pressed firmly into each other's mouths.  They kiss and fondle until Diesel demands that Lily unleash his cock from hic jeans.  Naturally, a blowjob ensues, and Lily demonstrates some expert technique by swallowing Diesel's long dong to its base.  The two girls take turns deep throating cock before Lily is instructed to assume the missionary position on a white leather ottoman.  The two fuck while Crissy looks on, again left out of the bulk of the action. Finally, Diesel pulls out and fires his wad onto Lily's torso, which Crissy is all too happy to mop up with her tongue. 

This scene is definitely skippable due to the ridiculous amount of exposition, the length of the blowjob, the brevity of the fucking (which seems like an afterthought in each of these scenes), and the occasional poor camera angle (for example, at one point, Lily's entire noggin is obscured by Diesel's left arm).  Once again, cute girls, poorly paced and filmed sex.   

Scene 5 (Ruby Knox): Ah, the moment I've been waiting for.  I said in my review of Sinoritas that industry newcomer Ruby Knox "is super fine, with a long torso, tight stomach, perfect teeth, and a pair of perfect natural tits," and has "an amazing body and beautiful face."  Her scene was by far the best thing on that disc.  But would she be as appealing here, a full four months before she filmed her confident, sexy DVD debut in Greedy's Sinoritas?

In a word, yes.  She's every bit as hot, fun, and confident here, from the moment she appears at Diesel's door to the lengthy pounding she takes on our stud's bed.  This Ruby Knox is definitely a star in the making.       

A shame, however, that Diesel didn't see her potential during the filming of this scene because unfortunately, the wielder of the camera thought we might get more enjoyment out of seeing--for the thousandth time--a close-up of a cock entering a pussy and hairy man-ass instead of a pair of perfect tits, ripped abs, and a gorgeous face.  It doesn't make sense.  At all. It takes a full 11 minutes for us to get a more-than-a-few-seconds look at Ruby's face as she's getting fucked, and 13 minutes before we're finally treated to a brief shot of Ruby's mesmerizing ass just before she gets drilled from behind.  And even then, instead of strokeable shots of Ruby's tantalizing round butt bouncing up and down, Diesel stupidly places his meaty right paw on Ruby's left cheek, effectively obscuring all of the fucking good parts. 


Ultimately, this is the best scene on the DVD because of the longer fucking sequence and an amazing looking Ruby Knox, but like the previous scenes, it's marred by poor camera-work, slight grain, and inane direction.

Final Thoughts: The best part of this DVD? The hot girls.  Christine, Kara, and Ruby are fine. Unfortunately, they're horribly utilized here and their best features are pretty much ignored by director Cock Diesel.  That damn camera should have lingered on Kara's striking eyes, Ruby's outrageous ass, and Christine's sexy face. Instead, we get a shit load's worth of ho-hum POV blowjobs, a lot of close-ups of pussy penetrating, and some totally senseless exposition.  Sure, there are a handful of stroke-worthy moments (some of Diamond's scene, for instance), but not nearly enough to justify a purchase.  Rent it first.     

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