If you were a young fella on Long Island in the early '90s, your world was dominated by one Amy Fisher, the Long Island Lolita. A messed-up piece of white trash, she had an affair with her mechanic, the Italian-American stereotype Joey Buttafuoco, and then proceeded to shoot his wife, Mary Jo, in the head. A made-for-TV real-life drama, the story captivated tabloid fans and made the brunette mallrat an unlikely sex symbol (at least for Long Island guys, who thought "I could have hit that famous poon!")
Now, a decade or so later, we're finally getting a look at what made Joey tent his workout pants. Sort of. A good deal of time (and decent amount of surgery) has left the Lolita looking like just about any Long Island housewife with enough money to burn, complete with a set of store-bought tits. Sure, she's pretty hot (if you ignore her terrible tummy tattoo and ill-matched implants) but she's not the Amy Fisher we wanted to Buttafuoco all those years ago.
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If you take one thing away from this film, it's that Amy Fisher is a very clean girl. When she's not playing with herself or getting stuffed full of cock, she's either in the pool (naked) or in the tub/shower. She washes her pussy so much you could eat dinner off of it, but Lou skips the meal and just dines on her box instead. Due to the limitations of tripod filming, we don't get to see much of her getting licked, but her oral skills are on full display. Sometimes it seems like she's barely into sucking dick, but it may just be an issue with a gag reflex, as she hardly ever takes his cock in past the head. It's hard to give a good blow job if you barely get it in your mouth. Fortunately, Amy is a more effective rider, as she climbs on top lovingly and rides Lou fiercely. The problem with Lou is his advanced age. No one wants to see Grandpa get banged or shoot his load all over his young chippy. Focusing back on Amy, she seems to enjoy herself as much as she loves cock, as she masturbates like a fiend and wields a dildo like a champ. The duo gets into some light bondage and spanking, saving the best for last, as the final exchange features the most energetic fucking, as the couple swaps positions and Amy gets more into the fun. Lou, perhaps showing his age, is more statuesque, striking odd poses while Amy carries the load.
Though the sex is pretty good, at least on Amy's side of things, the porno trappings are annoying. She mimics the stereotypical moans and pants of your average starlet, and talks dirty to the camera in a manner that's wholly unconvincing. Even the shower/bath scenes are ridiculous, as they ape the glamour intros found on many anthology DVDs. And the pool shots of her lounging and swimming nude? Are we supposed to believe she didn't know she was being filmed? The whole thing is very silly. If she wanted to get paid and let people see her have sex, she should have contacted one of the big studios and done a proper film. She's got the body to pull it off, and it's not like her reputation could take much of a hit.
For a "home movie," this full-frame DVD looks terrific, coming in just a bit behind the average porno flick in terms of the video quality. The image is clean and colorful, without much video noise. The lighting and camera angles are rather impressive, even if it was planned for release, though it's obvious they are watching a monitor to make sure everything looks good. The audio is a straightforward Dolby Digital 2.0 track, capturing all the awful porno-esque dialogue clearly, though slightly distance, as expected for an amateur production.
The only Amy extra is a lengthy auto-pilot photo gallery of stills from the film. Other than that, you get a second DVD with five bonus scenes, from other Red Light District flicks:
Brianna Love & Mark Wood from Smothered N' Covered #4
Lela Star, Victoria Sweet & John Strong from 1 Dick 2 Chicks #5 - XCritic Review
It's a decent selection of scenes, highlighted by Ashley Jensen's enthusiastic session with Mr. Pete, which features her pierced puss getting vigorously pounded. The POV scene with Naomi Cruise is a hot one also, though she looks kind of like Madonna, while the threesome is a high-energy fuckfest that most should enjoy.
Though many expected Amy to show up in Playboy one day, she instead made the jump to the new adult celebrity trend: the sex tape. While the "official" story is that her ex-husband sold this tape following their separation, and Fisher sued to stop its release, but one viewing tells you this was intended for public viewing. From her bad acting to the helpful positioning and angles to the unusual variety of activities, not to mention the quality of the image, this footage is as close to a professional porno as a supposed home movie will ever come, complete with a guy you don't want to look at. Of course, like most celebrity sex tapes, it's rather short, and the bonus material doesn't make up the difference. The curiosity factor is quite high with this one, and truthfully, considering the amount of actual sex, it would have paid off...if this was 10 years ago, but Amy doesn't look much like Amy anymore.