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Lexi UR3 Pocket Pussy


Studio: Doc Johnson » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/29/07


XCritic's Advice: Recommended

The following is a retro-review look at a toy tested awhile back, slightly modified but still very accurate and now with the benefit of time as well. We hope you like Donís crazy look at a toy thrust upon him by the powers that be here:

Okay, having reviewed a few toys for the ladies, albeit with a little help from my friends, I decided it was time to bite the bullet and see what advances have been made in regards to toys for men. My initial inspiration for the review was reading a friendís review of the Jesse Jane Love Doll, one of the most expensive toys this side of the Sybian. While I don't get nearly enough pussy in my own life to qualify as a true expert on the mysteries of the female form, I've done my share of hard time pounding away at a variety of ladies to know what works and what doesn't. Therefore, it made sense that I took a look at Doc Johnson's Lexi UR3 Pocket Pussy.

The basic idea behind the pocket pussy is to substitute for those times when your hand and a dab of lotion simply aren't enough and you're between bed buddies. The benefit of the toy at hand is that you won't have to buy it dinner, flowers, and coax it with a variety of lines about how much you truly care. You also don't have to listen to the endless drama so many women seem to project on their men folk and that alone is worth trying anything to break the grip they have on our sex lives.

Not knowing about all the technological advances since my youth, I looked online to find out that there are a variety of such toys, most with a fancy sounding name that you'd imagine had something to do with rocket science. I further found out that some of them are made with latex, to which some men are allergic, and others contain pthalates; a chemical compound used to make plastics softer. The most common pthalates never properly bind to the plastics they are used in and are suspected of causing cancer. Not wanting to lose my pecker to some dreaded form of disease, I got real interested in the content of the toys I was testing, most of which had no warning labels.

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Now that I've scared the piss out of you, my research led me to believe that the Lexi UR3 Pocket Pussy had no harmful chemicals used in its production. You can safely bet that I'm not going to stick my wick in anything potentially dangerous (that isnít squirming in ecstasy in front of me at least) and the simple fact is that modern science has a way of trying to scare everyone (those of you old enough to remember the red dye scares may also remember that the levels of dye needed to cause a reaction where so high as to be negligible). The designation UR3 is short for Ultra Realistic 3.0 and labeled as the ultimate skin on the box. Okay, having felt a variety of skins in the past, I was ready to see how this one felt but first I snuck a few looks at some of Lexi Marie's movies, including Jack's POV, Sunny, Out Of Place, Scream, and Served in order to see just how much this toy looked like the real thing.

In large part, it looked nothing like the hot little former Vivid contract vixen but her face adorned the box on three of the four sides and the goal of the review was more about the sensation rather than the look. For the uninitiated, it looked like a seven inch long, eight inch around club with a hole out the back and a reasonable facsimile of a woman's vaginal in the front. The lips were painted reddish pink and the slot where you cram your penis in was pretty small (we're talking diameter of a pencil small folks!). I had my doubts about how well this little experiment was going to work so I once again enlisted the aid of a friendly face to get me going. My first thought was someone played a joke on me, suggesting I had a pencil dick (my kidding about having two whole inches to work with, I tend to be on the thick side), but I knew over time, the thinner it started at, the longer it would last. The most important thing about making the toy work right was either having a really erect cock or making sure the toy was well lubed with some water or silicon based fluid. It took awhile but eventually, we got it in and she showed me how to properly stroke the toy after I had some troubles trying to apply standard masturbatory techniques.

In all, it felt pretty fricking good as the walls of this pocket pal (as comedian Sam Kinison used to call them) hugged my shaft tightly. As I slid the toy back, it felt very tight as it created a vacuum around the wall of my cock. An important thing to remember about such toys is to try and get one with an opening on both ends since it not only plays better but it cleans out easier too. In no time at all, I was busting a nut and while it didn't feel as good as the real thing, it felt better than my hand since the UR3 material was flexible enough but firm enough for a positive experience. There were no batteries, it cleaned up easily enough (always properly clean your toys or you'll have a hard time explaining your rash to the doctor, as well as your girlfriend), and it was far more affordable than similar toys. In short, I'd recommend it as an addition to your novelty collection though not as a complete replacement of women. For less than the cost of a decent dinner, you'll be up and running with this one.

One last caveat about the Lexi UR3 Pocket Pussy though, and this applies to all such toys, is that even the high quality standards of Doc Johnson won't mean much if you don't use the toy properly and keep it clean. Always use more lube than you think you'll need, don't try to warm it up in the oven or microwave (duh!), and keep it apart from other plastics. If you want to enhance the feeling, soak it in warm water before using (not hot water unless you want to run the risk of burning your dick and having to explain it to everyone), but I can't stress enough that using lots of lube will keep it working for you (I fucked up and tried it with minimal lube and ended up slightly tearing the opening; suffice it to say that my penis was far larger than the opening and while it has a lot of give, the lube helps cram very wide cocks into the tiny hole). As far as replay value or life expectancy, if you take care of it, you'll get a lot of mileage out of the simple, cheap toy, a lot more than you'd expect for under $30. Oh, and for those looking at the picture, be forewarned that the red paint on the labia washes off really fast so while it never looked all that accurate to me, it shouldnít stun you that the cheapo paint will disappear over a few cleanings either. Good luck!


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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon



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