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No Boys No Toys

Studio: Bad Seed » Review by Robin LaCruz » Review Date: 11/30/07

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

The Movie:
Here’s the concept: no boys and no toys. Makes perfect sense, right? Pornographers are so used to having girls getting fucked with huge cocks or huge dildos that they sometimes don’t consider that some guys or their girlfriends don’t need all that; especially if you’re trying to ease your girl into your smut collection. No Boys/Toys was directed by Steve Austin and is put out by Bad Seed

Aaralyn is on the phone with her agent or someone and demands that they get her in a sense with Cindy Crawford. Ta-da, Cindy appears and the girls are going for it. Cindy opens up her legs, and Arralyn licks her pussy with zest. They talk dirty and even joke a bit, but they still take getting-off very seriously. Cindy talks to the camera while she works on her friend’s pussy, Arralyn making additional comments while moaning. Aaralyn knows what she wants, telling her just how she likes to be licked and spanked. They basically cut back and forth on the girls licking pussies.

Sammie is bitching Jenna out for not putting away the clothes and taking care of their place. The set-up is dumb, and we’re supposed to believe that Sammie’s her boss with lines like, “I sign the checks.” The sex is still great, however. Both girls are fine, but Jenna is amazing. She’s the reason why I’m keeping this disc, although Sammie’s love for oral sex is a close second; the girl repeatedly sits on her friends face, and talks so dirty while doing it. She licks up her own pussy juice from Jenna’s face, only to make the girl such it all over again! In a weird way, Jenna looks like the newly revamped, and legal, Hillary Duff.


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Another lousy set-up, but the sex more than makes up for it. Aubrey Addams wants Isis Love to show her how to be more dominant. Aubrey’s young and plays up the naivety, but tongue-kissing looks like second nature to her. Isis is a complete badass in this scene; she makes her take off her panties with her teeth. Actually, this may be the hottest scene on the DVD.

Allie Ray and Liv Wylder seem like they are from another, more alternative DVD, which has its ups and downs. They’ve got a little more spunky, punky, hip-hoppy attitude, and are also more “realistic” looking than some of the other blondes herein, but are they hotter? I’m not sure. Allie is the more adorable of the two, but Liv has her own thing going on as well, but either way, these girls are working hard for their money. They take turns on the whole pussy-licking thing, and like some of the other scenes, there’s a good amount of squatting on one another’s face. .

Kelli Tyler and Naudia Nyce are in a bedroom and get frisky in their schoolgirl outfits. Naudia goes right in for some tongue-lashings and Kelli shoves her in by the back of her. Kelli’s wearing glasses so it makes her look conservative and slutty at the same time, which is awesome. The girls look to the camera at times, to bring the viewer into the action, but for the most part, they take great pleasure in providing their fellow scene partner some pleasure.

The DVD:
Video: Shot in HD, and presented in widescreen, the overall quality of the image is consistent, even if the lighting quality varies from one scene to the next. While the natural lighting is nice, the scenes often look flat, or just washed out.
Audio: Boasting Dolby Digital sound, the sex sounds great even if there’s no good soundtrack to speak of.

Photo Gallery: A standard slide show of scenes and stills rolls through, some photos being more flattering than others. I felt like I had to adjust the colors on my set because of all the purple in the lips, and then I played it on my computer and it looked similar.
Behind The Scenes: We hang out with the girls as they pick out the right panty, or pose for a Polaroid. Jenna and Sammi rehearse their scene and then we get a Clockwork Orange-type montage of the sex scene, and then the post-scene wrap. There’s some music hyping up the additional footage, and all the girls are included.
Tease Featurette: Each girl takes part in a little tease, working it all out to a little music.
Bonus Sex Scene: Well, they’re almost no boys; in this scene Jasmine Byrne gets pounded by Billy Glide. Originally in Sweet Young Things #2, Jasmine is spicy and sexy. They’re in the tackiest “porno” house known to man, and I should be so lucky to meet the owner of that house for one day. Glide goes ballistic on her pussy, manhandling her, flipping her around, licking her snatch from the front and behind. She does a miraculous job sucking his monstrous cock, and rides it like she’s on a pogo.
Previews: You could click on the preview that you want to see, so that’s cool. The previews are for, Eden, Anal Sex Movie, Toy Boxes 2, Myblackassspace.com , Take All, Double Shocker 3, Miso Horny 2, Love Hurts,
Final Thoughts:
I applaud the team's effort for reining in the toy-play, and I would totally recommend this DVD for couples. Do I think theere could be some more creativity? Yes. But are there enough scenes for me to go back to that may demand more than just a mere rental? Yes,. .

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