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My Big Fake Wedding

Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/6/07

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Holly Morgan tasting her own juices after a hearty round of solo action.

My Big Fake Wedding

Vivid Entertainment

Genre: Feature

Director: B. Skow

Brea Lynn was a major hotty here.

Cast: Holly Morgan, James Deen, Brea Lynn, Trent Soluri, Carmel Moore, Jada Fire, Jack Venice, Donny Long, Vanilla Skye, Sascha

Length: 136:39 minutes

Date of Production: 2/14/2007

Carmel Moore and Jada Fire give a little show for the fellas.

Extras: Most of you will enjoy the 82:06 minutes of bonus scenes; I have the five listed and described in detail below (after the scenes from the movie itself). I prefer extras related to the movie in hand so I found the 8:15 minute Behind the Scenes feature by Graham Crack Herr more interesting, the photogallery, trailers, spam, and text biography for Brea Lynn also adding some value. I greatly disliked the spam at the beginning of the movie but it could be easily skipped with the remote control so I didn’t slam the movie for the inclusion of it.

Condoms: None

Brea Lynn talking to Sascha and Vanilla Skye.

Audio/Video Quality: My Big Fake Wedding was presented in the same 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen color it was shot in by director B. Skow for Vivid Entertainment. For those unfamiliar with his background, suffice it to say that his experience outside of porn is superior to many inside the industry and it shows up in his movies, including this one as shot in HD, though presented in the SD format (for now) as shot in HDV1080i (with an F-stop of 3.4 according to the BTS) to provide a lot of resolution supporting some of the effects (making it look more like a real movie than just a porno). The lighting was well handled and this added to the pleasure of watching the gals in play as the lengthy scenes gave them enough freedom to explore. The composition of the camera angles and lighting were almost always optimal this time, Skow seeing fit to try and enhance the look of the ladies at every turn as possible. The fleshtones were accurate this time and the DVD mastering was well done (if in a bitrate hovering around the mid 4 Mbps area), making it a mixed bag in terms of visual quality; leaning towards above average. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English (in 192 Kbps) offering with the vocals sounding flat and the music pretty decent. For some reason, the levels were about the same as usual but aside from the added background noise, the dynamic range was average and the separation of the vocal track nonexistent (though some of the musical bits did come from multiple speakers).

Holly Morgan getting all hot and sweaty.

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Body of Review: B. Skow has been showing off his talents directing for Vivid Entertainment in recent years, often working with smaller budgets but making superior movies in the process so it’s no wonder that he gets brought in for signature efforts to showcase newcomers like Brea Lynn. His latest feature doing that is My Big Fake Wedding, a title revolving around deceit, treachery, and a leading role by…Holly Morgan?!? Yup, this is another case where the powers that be determined Brea wasn’t quite ready for the role of the virginal lead of the flick where a gal wants to stay untouched until her wedding day. Brea still had a major sex role in the movie though, scoring three out of the six scenes so whatever the slight may have been regarding her acting skills, fans won’t be disappointed at how much quality time she was provided to shine in this one. The back cover said it like this: “Jared and Beth young and in love. Jared wants more than anything to have sex with Beth, but she won’t until marriage. Jared feels he's too young to get married, so, with the "little head" doing the thinking, he decides to plan a fake wedding! See what happens when Jared and his buddies go all out to get him married for fake and laid for real. Will Beth find out in time, and be able to turn things around? Will Jared get laid? Or just get fucked? Holy matrimony, it's My "Big Fake Wedding"!” If you’re still interested in the movie, here is a break down of the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used:

Scene One: Opening/Not Till We’re Married: Holly Morgan, a blond that was the thematic lead of the movie, was up first as she masturbated in the bed room to help inspire James Deen to rub out a load of population pudding on her. She used a vibrator and she spouted that infamous line that no guy in the history of the world has wanted to hear: “Not until we’re married!”

Scene Two: Lanni & Will: Brea Lynn, the busty cutie on the cover and relatively new contract performer for the company, was up next as she climbed out of the large bathtub to find moper Trent Soluri waiting for her; the guy asking for a blowjob. She agreed on the condition that he eat her pussy; a condition he found acceptable so she actively slobbed his knob really well. She used her mouth and hands in conjunction to make it a fine experience, Trent interjecting instructions like a goofus during the act. I wasn’t keen on the editing here (it wasn’t bad but it seemed to jump around too inconsistently) but some of the camera angles (like the semi-POV) were nicely done. They moved to the bed for her to actively ride his dick vaginally, the energy shown by Brea to be very appreciated by this reviewer when she was on top. He should have eaten her out as promised instead of just fingering her a little bit but I couldn’t fault Brea this time. The scene ended when he rubbed out a load to her mouth, Brea not swallowing but at least providing some post coital sucking shot in over the shoulder manner. Yum!

Scene Three: Bachelor Party: Carmel Moore, Jada Fire, Jack Venice, and Donny Long, were up next as the two ladies were brought in as hookers for the bachelor party in the living room. The scene started with the half dressed gals undressing and playing with each other in lesbian fashion; rubbing titties together, spanking each other, and eating each other out in front of the men before Jack and Donny stepped up to the plate. Jada rolled over to blow Jack with Carmel inhaled the rod of Donny; both gals showing some solid skills before the banging began. Jada went into fluid projection mode (squirting) while Carmel was the dirty talking slut; the gals getting some licks in as able on the cocks flying in and out of their friend. The ladies also swapped partners midway through the scene; Carmel taking Jack’s jizz to her mouth while Jada took Donny’s nut twice to her face.

Scene Four: Bride’s Maids: Brea “I don’t do robots” Lynn, playing the evil friend of the bride to be, used her devious mind to counter the man’s plan but still found time to enjoy a little lesbian action on the living room floor with Vanilla Skye; both of them in their pink satin bridesmaid dresses. The camera wisely focused mostly on sexy Brea but when it didn’t, I saw all kinds of nasty blemishes on Vanilla; making me worry she had the plague (or at least an active case of measles). Still, Brea was having a great time getting toys inserted into her and providing as good as she was given easily enough. They did very little oral on each other and I’m pretty sure my visual observation reflected whatever Brea saw too.

Scene Five: Convincing the Florist: Brea Lynn and Vanilla Skye, not missing a beat, then did Sascha the eavesdropping delivery man, as a means of keeping his silence. Both gals sucked him off very heatedly, taking turns as they slobbed his knob. Brea rode him as aggressively as she did Trent earlier, leaving Vanilla to masturbate in the chair beside them for the most part. Vanilla got a chance to bone too and Sascha was lost in his happy place as he gave both of them a ride to remember him by; seemingly preferring Brea as his main squeeze before eventually ending the prolonged scene by busting a nut on their faces.

Scene Six: Honeymoon With a Virgin: Holly Morgan, in her modest wedding dress, left the worst wedding ceremony in the history of religion (from James’ rendition of “I’m Going To Fuck A Virgin” to Jack’s really bizarre wedding vows), with James Deen to land on the large bed where he set forth to commit the fraud of fucking her without the sanctity of real wedding vows. She enjoyed his presence and kissed him a lot, jerking him off and going down on him after some varied positions of active vaginal sex. She was a decent lay and performance or not, I got the impression that she was into him even before he licked her clitoris a bunch. The scene ended with her taking the load almost as easy as the truth; the quirky ending ringing exceptionally poorly (almost as if this was a left over screen play from when David Stanley worked for the company).

Bonus Scene: $2 Bill: Jada Fire, a curvy black gal with nice DSLs, was up next with Manuel Ferrara after meeting him at a bar. They went into the back room and were soon tearing off each other's clothes as he kissed and fondled her breasts. I liked her squealing noises as he went down on her meaty ass though her own oral was too limited to appreciate much. This led to a short titty fuck and him banging away at her pussy in numerous positions, some of which appealed to her enough to ride him fairly well. The scene closed out with a titty fuck and a load to the face and wasn't bad at all although it lacked the replay value of the previous scenes in my opinion.

Bonus Scene: The Houseboat: The first scene opens with Van Damage playing a clerk at a local book store. His attention is caught by a very beautiful blonde Brea Lynn, who has crossed his path twice throughout the day. At the book store Brea appears to him just about everywhere in the book store. In his fantasies Van Damage watches on as Brea and Tommy get busy in a corner of the bookstore. Tommy makes a meal out of Brea as he goes to town on her. Brea then sucks him off and is pushed up against a book case for standing missionary, doggie and RCG. As they change position they move to different parts of the book store. The scene ends with Brea getting a facial. (review by Ravyn)

Bonus Scene: Circus: Jada Fire and Angel Eyes, two of the more popular black gals in porn these days, were up next with John E. Depth; a guy with a rather large penis on the second stage of the circus. They double teamed him orally, sharing him as able and alternating kissing him, before he in a little tasting of his own. This didn't last long however and he was boning away on them in no time at all. He did get some ass out of the deal but most of the scene was focused on the pussy pounding you'd expect to see. The facial wasn't very special but I'm not really a huge fan of these three (I only like Jada) either so your mileage may vary according to your personal tastes.

Bonus Scene: The Houseboat: Brea who is wearing a white mini skirt and a black tank top walks out of the book store only to be harassed by a local cop played by Johnny Castle. She turns to Van Damage for help and asks for the use of his office to straighten things out with the cop. Brea does more than just straighten things out as she takes things into her hands literally as she straddles his face and then sucks him off. Johnny then takes her from spoon to missionary to doggie with the pop shot going on her face. (review by Ravyn)

Bonus Scene: Ready Set Action: Mia Rose, a cutie and fan favorite with pretty eyes and a fine figure, was up next trying to earn the cover from Nick Manning by using all of her assets in the living room full of red furniture. He spent a fair amount of time establishing his role as the grumpy guy in charge (doing an excellent job in the non-sex portions by the way). He went down on her and she acted as though she was really getting off, sticking her perfect ass out as she inhaled his cock orally while he demeaned her as expected. I'm not a fan of his seething vocals but it fit the role this time and she was an active rider as he tapped that cookie of hers. Brea Lynn walked in on them too, masturbating on the couch until Nick got a whiff of the hotty waiting for him. He left Mia (I wouldn't have done so) and started eating out lovely Brea while Mia masturbated as the voyeur. At this point, Brea went crazy riding the cock like an established professional, earning her a place in my libido for a very long time. She drove herself on his cock even better than Mia had, her large breasts bouncing around before he went back to Mia (which again, I would not have done). Mia is a great lay on camera and came across like she was in competition with Brea; both gals serving up excellent performances before swapping out a few times and Mia staying for the ending facial as Brea left. Whew!

Summary: My Big Fake Wedding by director B. Skow for Vivid Entertainment was a cute little fluff piece of a feature but I was left with the impression that he scribbled the screenplay out on a couple of napkins just before shooting the scenes. Still, the sex was almost always solid and despite my reservations regarding Vanilla Skye’s appearance here, the entire female cast was strokable. The extras were decent if you’re okay with the five unrelated bonus scenes and Brea Lynn really did prove to be a vivacious hotty in her three scenes so I rated it as Recommended but don’t go into this one expecting acting on par with some of Skow’s better titles to date. In short, My Big Fake Wedding had enough replay value to merit replays but you’ll want to keep the remote control handy to buzz through the fast forward fodder after seeing the plot portions of the show once.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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