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House on Horny Hill


Studio: Julie Simone Productions » Review by Crimson Clown » Review Date: 12/15/07



XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

I told myself I would drop lesbian titles from my review list for a good while because frankly, I've had more misses than hits when it comes to lesbian porn. Often I've been disappointed, bored, and found it all tedious. "House on Horny Hill" was a title I mistook as a man on woman porno and was surprised to see it was a lesbian title. "House on Horny Hill" looked like it had potential. The title was funny, the cover was great, and the screenshots on the back of the DVD were hot. Did it deliver? I took a chance, and opened my mind and my drawers to the possibility that I'd find a lesbian porn that would bring me back into one of my favorite fetishes.

As I hoped, "House on Horny Hill" is not just a title there for giggles, it's an actual porn take on "House on Haunted Hill," with a set up that introduces a plot. Varla is a real estate broker who is having a difficult time selling a local house and can't quite figure out why. One night after being chewed out by her boss, she performs some research and discovers the house is being haunted by nymphomaniacs. If only we all had that luck, eh? Amused and somewhat curious, she decides to have another go at the house and refuses to tell clients its history. The night prior to showing the house, Varla is haunted in her dreams with a lesbian fantasy and soon is shown proof that she's haunted by nymphos.

Lena and Kitty
Lena and Kitty are there to look at the house, both of whom are pretty plain potential buyers. They're suddenly stricken with pure arousal and begin passionately making out by the window. Deep kissing inspires them to grope and fondle one another revealing their large asses and gorgeous breasts compelling them, much to their horror, to undress. After some rather hot kissing, they slowly drop to the floor, untying their hair and slowly undressing. Kitty unclothes Lena reealing a hot black neglige, while Kitty takes off her shirt revealing an orange bra and they soon move to the bed entangled in their bodies and making out gently. They slowly begin to dry hump, rubbing their bodies against each other, and Kitty grabs Lena's bare breast kissing and licking it as she moans. Lena mounts Kitty licking and fondling her breasts and finally works her way down her chest and pussy spreading her legs apart and eating her through the g-string she wears. Slipping it off, she begins to eat her out, as Kitty clutches her own tits amorously. Lena fingers herself while chomping on the clit. Kitty moans and begins writhing in pleasure as Lena moves up kissing her and makes out yet again. Lena leans over taking off her G-String and Kitty slides down to eat her pussy as Lena sits on her face moaning and clutching the walls. In a moment of shock, the two stop kissing and attempt to come to their senses, but revert back to making out and snap out of it momentarily only for the ghosts to get the better of them. There's not much to this opening, but surely enough it's hot and I found it to be a great topper that doesn't get repetitive.

Sinnamon and Zenova
Mocking and avoiding the clutches of the nympho ghosts, Varla prepares to show the house yet again and picks out the proper attire for potential clients. We then fade in on busty and luscious Sinnamon who is being shown the Horny Hill House by agent Zenova who is a blonde, busty and tall drink of water. Sinnamon is dressed better than usual clients and is instantly put off by the house. Zenova is pushy and continues showing her the house until the nympho ghosts strike again! Hot and bothered, Sinnamon lunges at Zenova making out with her, and the two embrace near the stairwell. Sinnamon slowly undresses Zenova and fondles her clit and bare breasts, as Zenova clutches on to Sinnamon's large breasts clinging to a burgundy dress. Sinnamon leans back as Zenova kisses her neck and squeezes her breasts, and Sinnamon opens her shirt revealing large tits. Sinnamon ravages her breasts kissing and biting them and moaning as Zenova leans back in pleasure. In the throws of kissing, Sinnamon bears Zenovas breasts and vice versa and the two kiss rubbing tits against each other and fondle one another.

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Standing face to face they rub their tits together, and Sinnamon leans down to kiss her large ample breasts, rubbing her hand against her clit through her skirt. Zenova leans down to kiss Sinnamon's breasts as she fingers herself near orgasm, and dry humps Zenova furiously against a wall. Sinnamon takes her skirt off revealing her gorgeous ass and dominates Zenova kissing her, clutching her beautiful breasts, and humps her as Zenova grabs her ass. Sinnamon tears Zenova's pants off and eats her pussy through her panties. She plants Zenova on a chair and begins eating out her pussy fingering her hard as Zenova moans clutching the walls. Sinnamon steps onto a sill and Zenova eats her out as she groans squeezing her tits. In a moment they realize what they're doing and stop, but the lust takes over as they kiss with the local nympho ghost rubbing Zenova's tits. It's a moment of inadvertent hilarity, but a competent grasp of the concept.

Rucca and Lucia
Varla is further chewed out by her loud boss who insists she look like a business woman, but in spite of the mohawk, she is confident and ready to face whatever awaits... Rucca and Lucia are looking at a bed room of the house exploring the different rooms. These two girls are absolutely stacked and look damn good, but it's a shame their bout of bad acting followed by an unusual change of camera work breaks the momentum of the porno. These girls simply don't convince me like they others did, and nonetheless the ghosts take hold. Lucia complains of feeling warm and hot while Rucca tends to her and they find themselves making out passionately as the others. They find themselves propped against a wall kissing embracing and feeling each other up. Rucca is propped against the wall as Lucia feels her big tits and kisses her deeply, Rucca begins feeling on Lucia's ass and the two fondle one another, as Rucca kisses Lucia's neck and embraces her again with heavy kisses. Rucca slowly undresses Lucia grasping her tits underneath her bra and tears her shirt off as Lucia moans.

Rucca pulls down her bra and sucks on her tits, and Lucia slowly undresses Rucca revealing a light green bra and pulls it down to suckle on her tits. Lucia drops Rucca's skirt and fingers her through her panties and zeros in on her tits again, as Rucca reciprocates. Lucia turns to lean back on Rucca who begins fondling her from behind and kissing her as Lucia fingers herself. Lucia then rides Rucca's lap leaning over and flashing her ass as Rucca rubs her down anxiously and fingers her. Rucca stands against the wall with her leg along the chair as Lucia bends down to eat her pussy through her panty and slides it over to suck her clit as Rucca moans and writhes. Rucca mounts Lucia along the floor and the two embrace kissing and sucking each other's tits. Rucca then sits on Lucia's face as Lucia eats her out. And of course Casper the horny ghost steps in to feel up Rucca before we move on to the next souls.

Varla and The Mistress
Varla finally arrives to the house and she and her potential buyer admire the scenic view from the balcony of the house. The Mistress admits that Varla doesn't look like every other real estate broker, and admits that she's a dominatrix. The two wax flirtatious a bit as Varla is seemingly uncomfortable and they drift to the fire place which Varla makes a point of showing her. Says the warbling droning sound in the background, they're in for some poltergeists of their own. They walk over to the red room of the previous segment, and Varla shows off a storage closet which descends into its own room. This has a surefire long set-up, that's a definite. But Varla is stricken with a hot flash unable to breath and admits to curiosity to her flirtatious dominatrix and wonders what a session would be like. Wondering no more, the mistress begins to slap Varla along the ass rubbing up against her as Varla giggles and moans. She tears her pants off and leans her over spanking her bubble butt again and again as Varla giggles revealing her tattoos. Varla is very different from the women in this compilation and that's probably a good thing, with a blond mohawk, tattoos and a nose ring.

She's hot but very unusual a main character and she's fitting of the second to last segment. Varla screams as the mistress slides her panties aside spanking her hard and rubs her up. She turns to the mistress and the two embrace making out and drop to the floor where Varla begins kissing her tits. The Mistress leans back teasing her as Varla kisses her and fondles her long legs. She extends them forward and Varla slowly takes off her stockings worshipping her feet. The Mistress kisses Varla's large tits tearing off her bra and taps her pussy playfully. Varla undresses the mistress licking her large tits and she reciprocates anxiously, dominating Varla, she mounts her and dry humps her while kissing her tits and the two make out. Varla leans back spreading her body out as Varla rubs her up and down; Varla emerges and the two finger each other furiously before Varla goes down on her fingering her as the mistress groans. Casper grabs the mistress who snaps out of it noticing the clammy digits and gets back into sex mode with Varla. And again the two notice the strange haunting and embrace again as Casper gets her claws in for a few feels.

Lesbian Free for all at Horny Hill
Crabby real estate boss notices that Varla hasn't returned nor has the buyer and rants about having to come to the rescue. She simply doesn't want to have to go to the house to get Varla back but she has to... but as we cleverly forgot, those lesbian nymphos are still at the house, and still in the grasps of Casper who has left them in sexual throws, and the boss walks right into the sexual dungeon. All of the "victims" of the haunted nymphos are in one giant sex pile, kissing, and embracing, fingering and eating each other out, and Mrs. Tannehauser walks in and is immediately thrown into the pile submitting to the sexy lesbians as Casper watches and fondles her victims proudly.That's where I want to go when I die...


Audio/Visuals:
There are no complaints in the audio and visual department, as the picture, presented in fullscreen, is crisp and sharp with some great bold colors and soft reds that director Simone accentuates to create the ghostly atmosphere. The sound is excellent. The dialogue that the porno relies on is clear and coherent and the set ups are heard and well recorded. The soundtrack from Kong is entertaining and fits well.

Goodies:
In extras, we're given a chapter selection that allows us to view each segment separately, and interviews with the entire cast. I don't know why they had them in sections to choose from when they could have just had an option to see them all together. Either way, there are some good tidbits here. At only three to five minute intervals it makes no sense, but we learn some great tidbits about Mistress Genevieve who is a real dominatrix, and there's the interview with Rucca who seems almost frighteningly excited about the premise of her segment. The centerpiece of the questioning is what drew the performers to women originally, and the stories are hot. The interview with Varla Vexx is probably the best of the compilation. There's also the typical gallery slideshow which are just a series of shots from the film and pin ups, as well there are only two trailers to Simone Productions films like the lesbian oriented "Foreign Affairs," and "When Girls Play," which looks damn good.

After Thought:
Even though this wasn't the hardest of hardcore lesbian porn at a little under two hours I was never bored. The emphasis here is more on big tits and heavy kissing which is what will serve as a good portion of lesbian interplay. The performers pull their scenes off well and each segment is hotter than the last. It made me rethink the lesbian porn fetish and it's a creative movie with some great set ups. With some good extras, and great picture quality, "House on Horny Hill" is worth your buck.

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