Cast: Kathy Anderson, George Uhl, Claudia Rossi, Bobby, Lucky, Ian Scott, Simone Style, Denis Marti, Suzie Diamond, Neo
Lucky was getting just that on the cramped desk.
Length: 147:40 minutes
Dates of Production: 4/20/2007, 4/23/2007, 4/25/2007, 4/26/2007, 4/27/2007
Simone Style was a movie highlight in her scene.
Extra's: There was a pop shot recap from the scenes, a photogallery, and a slipcase for the DVD but those were the only extras.
Suzie Diamond was a lean hotty used to end the show.
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Audio/Video Quality: Secretaries was presented in the industry standard 1.33:1 full frame color as shot by director Alex Romero for Combat Zone. The lighting was varied so some scenes looked substantially better than others, a few having a lot more color saturation than others as well as levels of grain I wouldn't brag about. Still, the composition of the scenes tended to favorably enhance the looks of the ladies as best could be expected, the bitrate clocking in around the 5 Mbps range much of the time (though not always). The camera movement led me to believe that someone else held the camera a few times but whatever the reasons; it was not a poorly shot bit of gonzo fluff by any means. The audio was a bit less appealing as the 2.0 Dolby Digital English movie showed the usual 192 Kbps bitrate with no separation, limited dynamic range, and a droning musical score at the beginning of each scene that disappeared in no time (thankfully enough). Still, I could hear the voices of the cast, along with background noises and directions barked out, so your mileage may vary considerably.
Body of Review: Alex Romero is the latest director for Combat Zone and having almost no background on his whatsoever, I figured I'd mention that the only thing lacking at the company these days seems to be a visionary director that offers something more than generic porn scenes shot on the cheap. This is not a slam on Dion's second stab at establishing a gonzo production company, far from it considering how much he elevated the entire industry the last time he was up at bat, but merely an observation that so many of the foreign shot work by his guns for hire has lacked replay value. The latest such release is one due out next month (technically, next year) called Secretaries, where the ladies all are presumably set up in workplace situations much like many of us would like to see, the attractive gals moving up the corporate ladder by going down on the bosses and otherwise satisfying their needs. I went into the show with an open mind but not an empty head, noting that no condoms were used in the five whole scenes provided:
Scene One: Kathy Anderson, a meaty blond wearing excessive clothing as though she were truly employed at a business, was up first with George Uhl in a make shift office consisting of a desk in the corner of a room. He called her into the room, she took some dictation, and was soon slobbing his knob on her knees until he was rock hard. He gave her some oral loving too and they were soon bumping uglies in an active manner but the sex struck me as mechanical and cold more than anything else. Kathy is a hotty developing into quite a MILF these days; her body looking better as a result of leaving on some clothing jjust as the glistening sweat enhanced her too. The vaginal plowing gave way to the anal exploration, Kathy looking more ready to take his modest member in her back door than anywhere else. The amount of spitting was distracting and lowered the heat but even if the sex was generically done; at least she kept up with the active nature of the ride throughout the scene. He fingered her to a wet climax and she ended it by jerking out his population pudding; an uncomfortable silence left hanging as the camera faded out.
Scene Two: Claudia Rossi, a lean brunette with an all natural body, was up next as she encountered some computer problems at her desk so Bobby was called in to fix them. He crouched under her desk as she continued to work, giving him a splendid view of her wares to the point where he could not resist servicing her other needs too. They did each other orally and she kept on her glasses as they fucked vaginally and anally but she lacked the star power Kathy had going for her and wasn't nearly as active during the sex. She did manage to do plenty of taste testing that emphasized ATM but this was strictly sex for pay and while that is what porn is about from the production side of things, the viewer's fantasy is important too. In all then, it ended with a facial but was a filler scene of single use merit. I'd toss a couple of bucks her way if visiting Eastern Europe but she lacked any pizzazz in this performance.
Scene Three: Lucky, a gal that could be the illegitimate offspring of Jan Smithers from WKRP in Cincinnati, was up next as she walked in to assist Ian Scott at his desk. Her outfit was the most revealing of all of them to this point in the movie, her hair held up in a bun to establish at least a passing nod to the theme, but the acting was much like the rest of the movie in that it could have easily been edited out as being really bad. At least this desk was big enough for the pair to enjoy comfortably as she blew him and then took his manhood inside her biscuit. She was another lacking in the active riding skills I like so much but she wasn't a completely dead fuck either. She also got better as the scene progressed but his creepy look always weakened the scene for me; as a henchman in a Private release he might be perfect but as a straight out gonzo meat puppet; forget it! The lack of anal did nothing to lower the heat for me here but either she was brand new to porn (having been no stranger to free cock) or she found him equally repulsive. The scene was the first of the movie to end with the guy jerking off, to her crotch no less, and that was lame too.
Scene Four: Simone Style, a fan favorite with a chunky ass and jet black hair, was up next as she left her computer in the capable hands of Denis Marti in her home office. He found some nude pictures of her and started to jerk off, caught unaware when she walked in on him. Unlike her counterparts in the USA that would be calling their lawyer with sacks of money dancing in her head at the windfall she would reap, Simone decided to take advantage of this golden opportunity to suck some dick. She was a fine sword smith and aggressively blew his modest member with a lot of flair compared to the other ladies of the cast. He seemed infatuated with her too and gave at least as well as he received by eating her out with a concentration on her ass; the couple hammering away with a lot of anal soon after that on the conveniently placed couch. She did have roast beef pussy lips but her all natural body looked good impaling itself on his rod, her moans of pleasure seeming at least half convincing with their personal chemistry pretty decent too. The ATM led to him rubbing out a load to her face, Simone clamping down to avoid his spew but otherwise happy that she drained his balls so effectively.
Scene Five: Suzie Diamond, the very cute brunette gracing the front cover, was up last and the adage about saving the best for last was at least half true since she was working with Neo. The guy has long struck me as a third tier mope and his working with her was a bad plan from what I could see initially though they did manage to knock out a fair scene together despite my reservations. Starting with a computer chat session where they flirted unknowingly with each other, they met at the hotel room on the bed to get acquainted. It was a hokey set up to say the least but she really looked good here; easily earning the cover on looks alone. They warmed up orally and after each had cleaned up the other, were pounding away vaginally in no time. The sex switched to anal and she accommodated him even easier that way, though she did strike me as being less active during this phase of the scene. Sadly, it ended the weakest by allowing him to rub out the load and on her ass too, rather than have her take him more aggressively.
Summary: Secretaries by director Alex Romero for Combat Zone showed the hint of potential in his directing skills but the stars were not aligned favorably here as far as I was concerned because the mechanical European sex was far from anything I know they are capable of. For whatever reason, American performers tend to perform better in the movies and worse in real life while the reverse is true of their European counterparts; perhaps stage fright or the thought of being ordered around impacting the way they work. The technical values were okay but the extras were weak and the resulting rating of Rent It was largely thanks to a couple of decent scenes rather than the overall quality of the movie being especially weak. In short, Secretaries was much as I suspected it would be but I know that when the company hits gold with a talented director, they better be prepared to keep him signed up given the mediocrity of their rotating staffers of the moment.
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