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Kim Kardashian, Superstar (Uncut)

Studio: Vivid » Review by Michael Vega » Review Date: 2/3/08

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

genre. "Celebrity" sex tape.
director. Ray J is still not a director.
cast. Kim Kardashian. Ray J.
length. 1hrs 34min
production date. 2003

the audio & video

Kim Kardashian, Superstar - Collector's Edition was shot in a 1.33:1 full-frame ratio and the picture was pretty terrible when it came to the sex parts. Ray doesn't hold the camera steady and he doesn't understand that we'd rather see Kim than hear her (or him, for that matter). Of course it was shot on video | Audio was clear and presented in Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo with no annoying looping!


Like the first release, there's not a damn thing on disc one, other than the "film" itself.

However, as with the first release, disc two of this two-disc set features five Bonus Scenes
totaling 1h 7m [A Scene From "the American Dream" starring Monique Alexander And Marcus London. A scene from "Intimate Strangers" starring Lanny Barbi And Van Damage. A Scene From "Illicit" starring Stefani Morgan And Kurt Lockwood. A Scene From "Rough Draft" starring Savanna Samson And Jerry. A Scene From "Sunburn" starring Cassidey And Scott Nails. ] | Trailers for "Brand New Faces", "Chemistry v3", "Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Oral Sex: Fellatio", "Pipe Dreams", "Foreplay", "Jenna's Gallery Blue", "Hard Time", "Debbie Loves Dallas", "It's Sunny In Brazil", "Love Life", "My Wife's Best Friend", "Triple Ecstacy", "Savanah Loves Sex", "Stood Up" and "Role Modeling" | There are also some selectable Ads for "Vivid Products", "Vivid Web" and "More Adult Fun"

the fucking

Notice the "Uncut Unedited Uncensored Unbelievable"

"Unbelievable" is right.


-- sponsored by --

Kim, rockin the side profile!


The gates of heaven..

Yes, Kim, we know you know you're hot.

Showing off two of her best assets.

Man, I hope Vivid reels in a new bunch of horny idiots!

We begin our journey with the lovely duo, in Los Angeles. After a phone call, Kim is seen "face down, (sexy!) ass up" and getting pounded from behind. Ray keeps pounding that tremendous ass until he makes her cum, and he follows her lead...unfortunately, before he can unload on that sexy set of titties, he ends up dropping most of it on the bed.

This adds up to about 6m 12s of sex.

[ Kim Kardashian & Ray J | Vaginal | "Face Down, Ass Up" | Condoms: No | - and that's for Kim ]

Eight minutes into this thing, and it's now "the Next Morning Before Cabo". We see the lovely duo chatting for the camera in a restaurant...and then chatting for the camera on the airplane. Eight excruciating minutes later, we've arrived at Cabo San Lucas, where they...do some more talking. They head down to the beach...where they do some more talking. From there, they spend some time lounging around, taking a swim, then going out on the town...where Ray J spends four minutes doing his Michael Jackson impression. Riveting stuff, folks.

An hour into this damn thing, the lovely duo finally head back to the hotel room and, after Ray gives us a demonstration of how much bounce Kim's ass has, he drops some knowledge. It doesn't last long before the screen fades and we see "Santa Barbara - One Year Later".

Kim spends a 'lil time stroking him Ray's dick as he films her. At the 1h 14m mark, he gives her pussy a weak licking. Let me tell you, he might have the porn star dick, but he definitely needs to work on his pussy licking skills. Homey wasn't even flicking his tongue. Lazy cat! Anyways, . at the 1h 20m mark, she starts sucking his dick. Three minutes later, her spreads her legs and fucks her missionary. Four minutes after that, we see his dick, as he slides it inside her from behind. Two minutes and a quick readjusting of the camera later, Ray starts grinding her. At the 1h 32m mark, Kimmy spreads her legs for missionary, before sucking a shot out of him a brief minute later.

When all is said and done, there's about 13 minutes of ACTUAL "sexual" content - not Kim showing off her titties or Ray using her ass as a pillow, folks. Actual FUCKING.

[ Stars. | Oral (F). Vaginal. Anal | Reverse Cowgirl. Missionary. | Condoms: Yep |]
the final word

"Be careful what you wish for - you just might get it."

After watching this upgrade, I realize that truer words have never had more meaning. When Kim Kardashian, Superstar was first released, it was accompanied with the usual hoopla following someone who's "famous" for no reason whatsoever. Sure, she might have the lineage of being the late Robert Kardashian's daughter and Bruce Jenner's step-daughter, but I wouldn't consider either of them celebrities - even when they were relevant (if ever). Yet, the hoopla surrounding this release is understandable - Kim is a very attractive female with an amazing ass and a bountiful set of titties...and they're on display here!! Unfortunately, they're only on display for approximately 13 minutes of this 94 minute "film" and that leaves 91 minutes of stuff that will bore you to tears and have you reaching for your preferred method of the most long, drawn-out method of torture you could think of. Oh wait, that would be having to sit through 91 minutes just to see Kim's sweet 'n naughty bits.

With Kim Kardashian, Superstar - Collector's Edition, there's no doubt that Vivid has definitely made improvements over the original release. However, when all is said and done, there's still not much for them to work with. In fact, they might have been doing us a favor with the obnoxiously over-looped, over-dubbed original version - at least that release gave us the impression that there was more than 13. As with the first release, Vivid has included a second disc with bonus content in the form of five various scenes featuring some of the hottest Vivid stars, along with more than a handful of trailers for more worthy DVDs to spend your hard-earned money on. Unless you have the money to burn or are a fan of Kim's that hangs on her every word, i'd still recommend that you stay far, far away from this colossal waste of time. Skip It.

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