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Kim Kardashian, Superstar (Uncut)
Kim Kardashian, Superstar (Uncut)
Studio: Vivid » Review by
Michael Vega »
Review Date: 2/3/08
Advice: Skip It
"Celebrity" sex tape.
Ray J is still not a director.
Kim Kardashian. Ray J.
Kim Kardashian, Superstar
- Collector's Edition was shot in a 1.33:1 full-frame ratio and the picture was
pretty terrible when it came to the sex parts. Ray doesn't hold the camera
steady and he doesn't understand that we'd rather see Kim than hear her (or him,
for that matter). Of course it was
shot on video | Audio was clear and presented in Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo with
no annoying looping!
Like the first release, there's not a damn thing on disc one,
other than the "film" itself.
However, as with the first release, disc two of this two-disc set features
five Bonus Scenes - totaling 1h 7m [A
Scene From "the American Dream" starring Monique Alexander And Marcus London. A
scene from "Intimate Strangers" starring Lanny Barbi And Van Damage. A Scene
From "Illicit" starring Stefani Morgan And Kurt Lockwood. A Scene From "Rough
Draft" starring Savanna Samson And Jerry. A Scene From "Sunburn" starring
Cassidey And Scott Nails. ] | Trailers for "Brand New Faces", "Chemistry
v3", "Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Oral Sex: Fellatio", "Pipe Dreams",
"Foreplay", "Jenna's Gallery Blue", "Hard Time", "Debbie Loves Dallas", "It's
Sunny In Brazil", "Love Life", "My Wife's Best Friend", "Triple Ecstacy", "Savanah
Loves Sex", "Stood Up" and "Role Modeling" | There are also
some selectable Ads for "Vivid Products", "Vivid Web" and "More Adult Fun"
Notice the "Uncut Unedited Uncensored Unbelievable"
"Unbelievable" is right.
Kim, rockin the side profile!
The gates of heaven..
Yes, Kim, we know you know you're hot.
Showing off two of her best assets.
hope Vivid reels in a new bunch of horny idiots!
begin our journey with the lovely duo, in Los Angeles. After a phone call, Kim
is seen "face down, (sexy!) ass up" and getting pounded from behind. Ray keeps
pounding that tremendous ass until he makes her cum, and he follows her lead...unfortunately,
before he can unload on that sexy set of titties, he ends up dropping most of it on the bed.
This adds up to about 6m 12s of sex.
Kardashian & Ray J | Vaginal | "Face Down, Ass Up" |
Condoms: No |
- and that's for Kim
Eight minutes into this thing, and it's now "the Next
Morning Before Cabo". We see the lovely duo chatting for the camera in a restaurant...and
then chatting for the camera on the airplane. Eight excruciating minutes later,
we've arrived at Cabo San Lucas, where they...do some more talking. They head
down to the beach...where
they do some more talking. From there, they spend some time lounging
around, taking a swim, then going out on the town...where Ray J spends
four minutes doing his Michael Jackson impression. Riveting stuff,
An hour into this damn thing, the lovely duo finally head back
to the hotel room and, after Ray gives us a demonstration of how much
bounce Kim's ass has, he drops some knowledge. It doesn't last long
before the screen fades and we see "Santa Barbara - One Year Later".
Kim spends a 'lil time stroking him Ray's dick as he films her. At the
1h 14m mark, he gives her pussy a weak licking. Let me tell you, he might have the
porn star dick, but he definitely needs to work on his pussy licking skills. Homey wasn't
even flicking his tongue. Lazy cat! Anyways, . at the 1h 20m mark, she starts sucking his dick.
Three minutes later, her spreads her legs and fucks her missionary. Four
minutes after that, we see his dick, as he slides it
inside her from behind. Two minutes and a quick readjusting of the camera later,
starts grinding her. At the 1h 32m mark, Kimmy spreads her legs for missionary,
before sucking a shot out of him a brief minute later.
When all is said and done, there's about 13½ minutes of ACTUAL
"sexual" content - not Kim showing off her titties or Ray using her ass
as a pillow, folks. Actual FUCKING.
[ Stars. | Oral (F). Vaginal. Anal | Reverse Cowgirl. Missionary. | Condoms: Yep |]
"Be careful what you
wish for - you just might get it."
After watching this upgrade, I realize that truer words have never had more
meaning. When Kim Kardashian, Superstar was first released, it was accompanied
with the usual hoopla following someone who's "famous" for no reason whatsoever.
Sure, she might have the lineage of being the late Robert Kardashian's daughter
and Bruce Jenner's step-daughter, but I wouldn't consider either of them
celebrities - even when they were relevant (if ever). Yet, the hoopla
surrounding this release is understandable - Kim is a very attractive female
with an amazing ass and a bountiful set of titties...and they're on display
here!! Unfortunately, they're only on display for approximately 13½ minutes
of this 94 minute "film" and that leaves 91 minutes of stuff that will bore you
to tears and have you reaching for your preferred method of the most long,
drawn-out method of torture you could think of. Oh wait, that would be having to
sit through 91 minutes just to see Kim's sweet 'n naughty bits.
With Kim Kardashian, Superstar - Collector's Edition, there's no doubt that Vivid has definitely made
improvements over the original release. However, when all is said and done, there's still not much for
them to work with. In fact, they might have been doing us a favor with the
obnoxiously over-looped, over-dubbed original version - at least that release
gave us the impression that there was more than 13. As with the first
release, Vivid has included a second disc with bonus content in the form of five
various scenes featuring some of the hottest Vivid stars, along with more than a
handful of trailers for more worthy DVDs to spend your hard-earned money on.
Unless you have the money to burn or are a fan of Kim's that hangs on her every
word, i'd still recommend that you stay far, far away from this colossal waste
of time. Skip It.