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Private - Best of 2007

Studio: Private » Review by Guy Incognito » Review Date: 2/3/08

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Director: Toni Ribas and too many others to list here
Cast: Suzie Diamond, Cindy Crawford, Cindy Hope, Vanessa May, Courtney Simpson, Natalia Zeta, Lilane Tiger, Suzie Carina, Baroka and Lucy Belle
Genre: Gonzo, Lesbian and more
Length of Feature: 90 mins
Condoms: No
Date of Production: 10/01/07
Special Features: Girl Profiles and Scene Selection


"Private - Best of 2007" is a compilation disc that's mean to celebrate the best scenes made by Private in the past year. The A/V Quality is a mixed bag, as each release was pulled from different sources and aspect ratios. The audio tends to stay the same with no dropoff. In terms of special features, you just get a look at the girl profiles and how to select a specific Best of 2007 scene. 


The first scene comes to us from "Hi-Speed Sex". Suzie and Lilane take us behind the wheel of several kickass cars as they get their lesbian freak on. Pussies are rubbed and clits are bumped as the girls get down to business. The two ladies are very comfortable with each other, as they casually move from toying around into straight fucking. Nothing out of the norm, it's just well-shot lesbian porn.

My only problem with the scene is that it lingers too long on action that goes nowhere. The dildo play feels forced and it seems like Suzie has to keep pulling an endless array of tricks out of her ass to get the action to work. The only time that the action picks up is when the strap-on gets whipped out, but that eventually turns into commonplace porn theatrics. I expected more, but I know that I shouldn't. Two hot chicks fucking each other should be enough.

-- sponsored by --


The second scene comes to us from "Jason Colt - The Mystery of the Sexy Diamonds". Jason Colt is a new porn character created to dominate the new field of mainstreamed porn. He's Jason Bourne by way of John Holmes and he's a badass. The sex in this scene involves him nailing a black chick that he picks up while out on a mission. Colt picks her up and seduces her, as he tries to protect her from some sadistic bastards.

It's a straight fuck against the candlelight that leads to some dick-suckery and some straight sex. But, it's kind of hard to tell since all of the action is shown in flashback. You'll get some story explained and then it's a quick shot of the girl getting her box munched. It's hard to keep up with, especially when you take the stylized camera work into play. You can dress it up anyway that you want, but it's still just boring basic sex.


The third scene comes to us from "Private Sex Auditions 3". Cindy Hope is on the casting couch, as she's trying to get cast into a porno. She's quick to jump out of her clothes and onto a waiting dick. She works the shaft like a champion and it's not long before she's taking into the cooch. The girl's got a mouth on her that could be Sylvia Saint to shame, as she sucks dick like an angel.

The rest of the scene is pretty straightforward with fan-favorite positions worked into the mix. My only beef with the scene is that she's pretty, but she's got A-Cup tits. I like women that are packing some chest meat in my videos. But, she's got talent elsewhere and that makes up for the lack of mammaries. The scene ends with her stroking the guy off until he blows a load on his stomach.


The fourth scene comes to us from "Ibiza Sex Party 2". Vanessa May and Baroka perform in this sequence, by acting like mannequins that like to fuck other female mannequins. There's nothing going on but two hot girls standing around, as annoying techno music plays in the background. But, take a look at them. They're fucking hot and their hotness makes the world matter.

Eventually, we break out of the techno funk and they tag team some foreign dude at a beachhouse in Ibiza. This leads to the standard dick-suckery and fucking. Some pussy play goes on between the girls, but most of it is to see how far they can get slammed by the guy. It's pretty cut and dry, but so damn entertaining to watch. It's truly an excellent scene.


The first scene comes to us from "Mafia Girlz". Lucy Belle is getting ready for her Sicilian wedding, when a strapping fellow comes in to fuck her brains out. We get some basic pussy eating and some dick sucking to warm up the act. Then, it's straight to the fucking. Lucy takes it from behind, she takes it sideways and she takes it doggystyle. This lady loves her dick and she's going to get it at every opportunity.

Then, we get the big finale with the guy cumming on her face. But, he's placed this weird plastic veil looking thing over her face, while he nuts on her. It's this weird Laura Palmer fetish thing that I don't understand and it took me out of the scene. Still, I enjoyed everything that let up to that last bit.


By the time that I finished "Private - Best of 2007", I was underwhelmed. What should've been the best of the best, felt like a clip show for all the porn that I had already seen. That's not to say that it was bad, hell some of the best porn of the year can be found on this release. It's just that I wanted something interesting. Show me something new, people. That's why I can only recommend this title to the newbies to the Private line of films. Everyone else should just rent it.  

First, Skinemax.
Then, The Internet.
Eventually, I'll fuck the chick from Tron.

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