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Naughty Amateur Home Videos: Nude & Rude New York
Advice: Skip It
Jesse Jane hosts this version of Playboy’s Naughty Amateur Home Videos, except it’s not only too hot for their channel, it’s too hot for their sister channel, Spice, so they had to put it out on DVD via Spice Studios. An idea almost as old as time, seeing normal people fuck still has some allure and voyeuristic hotness, but can these “everyday people” get us off too?
A guy is eating out his girl while she uses a small vibrator on herself. She controls the speed, while he gets a monster dildo ready to put inside her. There’s someone else in the room snapping pictures, which adds to the voyeuristic vibe. Someone else is snapping pictures. The girl is actually a little sexy, and has a way with her legs (spread or wrapped around her guy) and when the friend says, “Tell me when,” the guy wastes no time saying “When!” He shoots a load on her pussy.
An African American couple is in the middle of a “break up” and he convinces her to do it “one last time.” To show this girl what she’s gonna’ miss, he starts out by opening up those legs and licking her pussy. She blows him like she’s never going to blow him before. He props her up on a chair and proceeds to fuck her “natural” pussy, leaning into her and teasing her tits. “I know I’m gonna’ miss that,” he says. She bounces on him in a cowgirl style. After a few more positions she gets in close and sucks him off before he shoots it on her tits.
Two couples had a sleepover (see the sleeping bags) and decided to film part of the session. Lady #1 is being taken care of by her guy while Lady #2 helps out. An older lady is getting taken care of by a guy and another girl. They take turns licking her pussy, and then they cut on him entering it with his cock. She gets really into it and yells “fuck it honey, fuck it hard!” And it’s totally natural and sexy, despite he being an old fart. He also squats down in into her in reverse, if that makes any sense, and the other couple loves it, though the glob of lube hanging off his pubes was kind of gross. After several other positions he blows it in her pussy and the other couple comment on how amazing it looks while shooting pictures.
Two horny housewives go to Club Paradise and steel Rosie’s outfits so they can make their sex scene. A Lucky guy gets to film these girls’ experiment with one another for the first time. Girl #1 begins by putting her lipstick all over her friend’s boobs. The girls exchange some head, and even more nasty talk and then eventually a double sided dildo, Girl # 2’s wig was annoying and made her look like Andy Warhol at times, while the other girl had much better hair. The guy does a good job zooming in on the girls as they bump and grind sharing the dildo, and that’s the hottest part about the scene, other than the fact that these girls are getting to be “naughty” for the first time on camera. Girl #1 gets the giggles and the guy has to remind her that “we’re still rolling,” but it’s really cute, actually.
Clearly the finest specimen on this DVD (and she knows it!) is this girl here, who starts out alone reading a book on the bed, while her guy sneaks a peak at her body from behind. She’s in a skit and pantyhose, and the scene is all about being more fetishistic and voyeuristic. Her masturbation scene involves the use of Ben Wa Balls, which she inserts and takes out several times. While there’s no fucking, this is the sexiest scene on the DVD.
A couple is outside (we hear cars in the background) blocked off from view by a wooden fence. They both get naked while he’s seated she goes over his lap and sucks on his cock. He takes a little vibrator and plays with her pussy, before she squats and bounces on the real thing. This girl also has a tight young body, and it quite nimble moving from one position to the next. The campfire they have going gives us no indication that they’re rude New Yorkers unless they’re out in the Catskills.
The image is a mixed bag, as you’re dealing with people’s home videos. There is zero to none production value, and you should be happy if there’s a well-composed shot to look at, but will be surprised how well some amateurs can do with a camera and a pussy.
Like the image, the sound is mostly crappy, except for the intro scenes with Jesse, where it’s obviously more professional.
Extras This edition has no extras to speak of.
Other than a small apartment, there is no indication that these are New Yorkers at all, not that they need they need to scream “Ay oh, oh ay,” but it would help if the hose put some of these things in context. Jesse James was totally underused and useless to this DVD, and barely sets anything up. The sex is mostly, well, uh, amateur, and this reviewer would rather make those than watch those, because when if you have to pay for porn, it’s better to pay a professional. Would you pay your plumber to fix your TV?