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Carmen Goes South

Studio: Wicked Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 3/18/08

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Ryder Skye and Carmen Hart

Carmen Goes South

Wicked Pictures/Faraway Films, Inc.

August and Steven St. Croix

Genre: Feature, Comedy

Director: David Stanley


Cast: Carmen Hart, Ryder Skye, August, Steven St. Croix, Exotica, Barrett Blade, Marcus London
Non-sex roles by David Stanley, Mark Stone, Bear, Randy Spears

Length: 111:49 minutes

Barrett Blade, Ryder Skye, and Exotica

Date of Production: 9/27/2007

Carmen Hart and Marcus London

Extra's: There was a decent scene between Carmen Hart and Voodoo from Fired that I described below as the first extra. I had just seen it so the value was lessened for me (I always prefer extras that are unique to the production in hand) but I see a lot of porn so your mileage may vary. The 25:35 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Mark Stone (edited by Jef) was a lot of fun; David hamming it up, Carmen shaving her biscuit, and most of the cast having a lot of fun while making the movie with some clips of action from the scenes too. There were five photogalleries, 3 star stats, a cardboard slip case, a true double sided DVD cover, the usual DVD ROM material, some spam, a promo reel, and 9 trailers (two at the open of the movie, one for the feature itself, and then six new titles I haven't seen on page two of the menus.

Director David Stanley rolls his own smokes for medicinal purposes.

Condoms: Yes

-- sponsored by --

Audio/Video Quality: Carmen Goes South was presented in an anamorphic 1.78:1 widescreen color as it was shot in by director David Stanley for Wicked Pictures (again assisted by Francois Clousot; credited as director of photography). I always prefer an anamorphically enhanced picture so it was pleasing to see David return to the sanity of providing one, even if this was not his best work to date. The lighting seemed more natural than average for a Wicked Pictures release, resulting in some grain, minor video noise, and shadows. The composition of the shots was good, enhancing the look of the ladies but sometimes showing too much propensity to move when a static shot would've worked better thematically. There were some compression artifacts but they really weren't a big issue for me as infrequent as they were here and the bitrate seemed to frequently hover in the upper 4 Mbps range so it could have looked worse. It was a decent looking fuck flick, even for a smaller budget release from the company, striking me as big on creativity even if low on actual budget (a dynamic that David excels at when he tries). The audio was presented in 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround English track or a 2.0 Dolby Digital track in Spanish. My Spanish is rusty and limited to technical fields but it seemed to convey the general mood of a porno even if never looking lip synched up like much of the anime I review seems to be. The main track was showing a 384 Kbps bitrate (twice the normal rate for a porno) did have some separation between the channels but most of it appeared to be related to the musical score; this time a somewhat generic offering lacking in anything special to talk about.

Body of Review: David Stanley has been directing for years at Wicked Pictures and elsewhere, tending to provide darker looks at life enhanced by short sex scenes. Others in the industry provide more strokable porn scenes but he has long since found such an idea contemptuous, preferring instead to offer entertaining movies that have some condom-clad sex as a chaser rather than as the main meal of the day. Granted, this is a bold way to go in the industry but as a change of pace, I cannot deny the fact that he succeeds more often than not, making some interesting movies that just happen to have some smut in them as a result. David's latest title to make it my way this week was Carmen Goes South, a comedy starring hotty Carmen Hart as a movie star stuck in the nether regions of Central Texas as part of a contest. Taking a few pages from the Jonathan Morgan book of porn comedy, David himself joins in the fun as an over the top wacko surrounded by some of the goofiest characters ever to make it to the small screen. Played for belly laughs rather than the arty farty light humor most of the company titles tend to offer, Carmen once again shines as the bitchy starlet wanting nothing more than to escape from her inbred hell. Unlike the more sophisticated offerings like Operation Desert Stormy, this one was more consistently funny too; relying less on an individual and specific lines than the situations and ensemble cast. The back cover said it like this: "Welcome to The Carmen Hart Show! On this week's episode, Carmen has to go down to the backwoods of Texas to spend a day with the contest winner. She and her faithful assistant head south and soon find themselves amongst a family of misfits. The humorously deranged sex workers provide plenty of southern hospitality for the duo. But things get really strange when she finally meets the actual contest winner...Tune in and find out what happens next!" I found the overall entertainment value of the show to be well worth checking out, more so than most similar titles at the company in recent months for those that want something more than gonzo scenes to rub a few loads out with. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Carmen Hart, the featured hotty on the front cover, was up first in the limousine with assistant Ryder Skye, after a quite funny introductory voice over by the legendary Randy Spears. The ladies took turns going down on each other in the cramped location, some fingering and titty play taking place since Carmen was bored. I would have liked a longer bit of action but it did establish the two characters fairly well and was okay as a warm up.

Scene Two: August, playing a hick wife at the dinner table outside (at night), was up next with husband Steven St. Croix as she blew him under the table. Her attitude towards the movie star was obviously unfavorable, but the hummer was enthusiastic as it came out into the open for the viewing pleasure of all. They screwed vaginally in a couple of positions, the short scene resulting in him losing his watch as well as dousing her lower abdomen with population pudding (a wolf howl resulting in a fox coming to dinner).

Scene Three: Exotica, a curvy brunette playing the matron of the clan, was up next as she actively rode the cock of Barrett Blade outside at night. There was some oral and the silly touches used to make it fit in (the banjo music, the outside location at night, and rustic accessories) struck me as curious but they did appear to have a modicum of chemistry together, the skilled gal doing her best to milk the scruffy moper dry. It finished up with him rubbing out a modest load to her chest for those keeping track.

Scene Four: Ryder Skye, Exotica, and Barrett Blade, were up next as part of his dance sequence that gave John Travolta nothing to worry about. It was still funny as could be with the ladies double teaming him orally as Exotica coached her new pal to the light of the disco ball in the corral. Barrett's cock was allegedly "better than pork rinds" and vegetarian Ryder proved to like meat after all, Exotica sitting on her face as Barrett boned her in missionary. Each gal got some limited penetrative loving from him, sharing the facial before Carmen got to finally meet the contest winner she liked so much.

Scene Five: Carmen Hart, in her make shift table cloth dress, was up next with Brit Marcus London as he wined and dined her in a contemporary setting to modern music (modern compared to the country clips heard earlier at least). This followed a funny lawyer clip (listen for the names of the law firm) by Randy Spears, Carmen hitting it off with the other fish out of water as she mounted him while they kissed; both giving the other some head before Carmen finally provided a solidly active ride. It was another ride far too short for the stroke pleasure many buy porn for but if you have a hair trigger and love Carmen, it will do. The scene closed out with the guy busting a nut on her chest.

Bonus Scene: Fired: Carmen Hart, having found out the hard way that medical testing was not for her, finally tried a career more in line with her talents as an extra in soap operas with Voodoo as the leading man. She played a waitress and he was a major actor (though you'd never know it from his performance before the sex); the pair going back to his trailer where they did the deed. He liked seeing her chest as much as I did and the general oral and vaginal sex romp played out; Carmen not nearly as active at riding his rod until she was on top of him but still well worth a viewing or two. The scene ended with him rubbing out a weak load to her ass cheeks without her help, closing the sexual portion of the movie with Carmen doing some post coital sucking.

Summary: Carmen Goes South by director David Stanley for Wicked Pictures will be a fun fuck flick to introduce someone to porn if they like the bizarre, offbeat humor of the director but as short as the sex scenes were, they did add enough spice to the comedic aspects to make this worth a rating of Recommended for those of you into the way the company does things. The technical matters did suffer due to the limited lighting of the night scenes and the limo but taken as a whole, Carmen Goes South should give a lot of you some smiles the way certain televisions shows of the past did (Green Acres, The Beverly Hillbilly's, Petticoat Junction. I'm just glad Carmen wasn't slumming with Mike in Atlanta given the title here, the characters weird enough to be memorable to say the least.


You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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