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Squirtwoman 3

Studio: Elegant Angel » Review by Crimson Clown » Review Date: 3/19/08

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

I don't know about anyone else, but I think it's pretty damn fascinating to see how women can shoot cum many feet away if given the right motivation. Not only does it probably entail a lot of their strength, but it must also be very awkward if they're set off in the middle of a social situation. Force of sexual nature Jada Fire stars in the third in the series of Squirtwoman which hopefully cures the plot holes of the first two; for example: How much of these women's bodily fluids is cum and how much is urine? There's simply no way to NOT make this review repetitive and monotonous, so instead, I figured I'd just review the whole damn thing instead of the individual segments. It's tough to come up with different variations of cum. It just is.

Jada Fire is in a rare league of women who can simply splash cum on her mates and induc the sexual chemistry between her and her partners and surtely enough her spray power makes for the simultaneously disgusting and surprising segments that eventually get tedious. Eventually after two squirts, it's just going to be nothing but urine, I hate to tell you. Or perhaps a different kind of bodily mass. Surely enough, I gather "Squirt Woman 3" took a week to make, just to give Jada some time to rehydrate, and just while we're waiting Jada strips between segments, which are nice.

Britney Stevens and Fire are making out like their ship is going down by a stairwell, tonguing and completely fondling one another. Britney kneels down to feel on Jada who clutches her own tits amorously, and Britney begins working on her clit rubbing it rapidly as Jada groans and holds her by the hair. The rub on one another as Jada taps her pussy, and Britney gets down on a couch wide spread and rubbing her clit. Jada kneels down beside her and fondles her while Britney groans, and Jada goes to work on herself. It doesn't take long before Britney is spraying along the floor and screaming, followed by Jada who completely sprays Britney's face. Their fuck mate comes over and shoves his dick in Jada's mouth as she sits fingering herself, while Britney leans over to rub Jada's tits and get in on the sucking. Jada squirts yet again with a howl, as Britney goes to work on her again. Britney leans over to suck him off as Jada cums yet again with a loud scream, pouring out along the couch.

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Jada and Britney cum all over the camera ejaculating simultaneously with heavy screams, and Britney turns to suck her mate off while Jada cums yet again. There's a lot of cumming, and a lot of screaming, but rest assured that by the middle you'l want to turn down your television. This segment is absolutely deafening which isn't a bad thing. Jada is leaned over and banged from behind while Britney sits cumming and fingering herself. Jada cums while being fucked, and Britney sucks him off. Britney mounts him and rides his cock like a jack hammer while Jada sprays, and Britney screeches loudly taking the pussy pounding. She sits back down and allows Jada on who is pounded long and hard until spraying once again, Britney on the other end spouts a geyser thanks to her vibrator. Jada is fucked and sprays, Britney is spread out and fucked spraying all over her mate, until he finally cums all over Jada's bubble butt.

After what I can assume was a week in the hospital regaining two liters of bodily fluids, Jada goes back to work with pals Chelsea Rae and Angela Stone. They sit on the couch fondling one another and kissing, all dressed in rather gorgeous costumes and leg warmers. Jada leans back with Angela fondling her pussy and kissing her, licking her neck, while Chelsea makes out with her and sucks her tits. Jada doesn't waste time fingering herself as Angela leans back to get eaten out, while sucking on Jada's tits anxiously. Angela leans back with her legs spread out while Chelsea goes down on her pussy, as Jada sits behind her dry humping the back of her head. Jada and Chelsea cum simultaneously all over Angela, who is then propped on her knees to take the spraying directly into her face. They both lean down to suck on Jada's tits, and their mate cums over letting them all go down on his cock sucking him off at once.

Angela is fucked while the other two spray in all directions, with Jada taking most of the spray action onto Angela. Jada mounts him riding his cock quickly spraying onto everyone. There's only so many ways you can say cum, spray, and spritz, so this foursome results in many soaked partners, and heavy fucking, which then some more of the same with folks like Jasmine Cashmere who begins her segment making out with Jada on a balcony with some interesting photography, but sadly it's about as redundant as the previous scenes with plenty of squirting, plenty of gushing, and nothing much more creative than that.  While I think Jada Fire is absolutely hot, it was a quickly boring affair. To think I have "Super Squirt" with the insufferable Sindee Jennings coming up...

The audio is great with the dialogue perfectly audible and crystal clear. The screams and body smacking come in with pure clarity and never muffle the overall sound to the proceedings, thankfully. Filmed in full screen, the picture quality comes is well with fuzzy colors every now and then, but the overall scheme of the set pieces are vibrant and jump off the screen, particularly when the actresses choose to wear neon during the fucking.

So, I turn on the DVD, and then instantly toggle up to a logo for Elegant Angel, and thirteen seconds later I thought "What the fuck was that?" Is that the Easter Egg? Thirteen seconds of Jada Fire standing in a golden bikini with her arms crossed like a WWE wrestler? I thought Easter Eggs were supposed to be fun. At least have her singing or juggling. The "Behind the Scenes" Feature is only four minutes, but there's a lot to take away from it, because it's based around bloopers on the site instead of really showing behind the scenes. Jada is so into her orgasm, the director has to stop because she sprays the whole crew, and in an excruciating moment, in the midst of a foursome, one of the performers is kicked square in the face and she drops to the floor screaming and clutching her nose. Now THAT's fucked. In another instance Jada is a mixture of bored and aroused and cums so hard she screams while kissing her mate.

In the finale, one of the pornstars gargles cum, and I try to keep from vomiting. Yuck! In the "interview with Jada Fire," Fire looks very put on the spot and the eleven minute interview drags on and on without a real glimpse into her life, or her real personality, she just rambles. Think Jenna Jameson meets Criswell in the beginning of "Plan Nine." She gazes in awe at the painting in the back of her, giggles for everything, and the director seems at a loss in what to do with the interview. Editing is your friend. Jada just goes on, and on... There's also A bonus scene from "Squirtwoman 2" starring Jada, and a "Squirt Shot Recap" featuring all the cum soaked mayhem from the male folk and women folk. There's a six minute "Photo Gallery," and various URL and commercials for the adult content.

After Thought:
I don't know if I can seriously recommend this as the cumming scenes are drastically extended to where the women basically drink it, and I'm just... I'm disgusted. The squirting thrill is gone. Just the same, the segments are all rather repetitious and quickly monotonous but the women look great, and the direction is eye catching, but the real fun is in the extras where we get brief bloopers, an awkward interview with Jada, and some great pics in the Gallery. I can't recommend it, but I can suggest Renting it.

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