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Crystal Jellie Cock 6


Studio: Doc Johnson » Review by Guy Incognito » Review Date: 4/1/08


XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

IN WHICH I INTRODUCE MY LOVELY ASSISTANT

Terra Incognita comes to us from the lovely wilds of the Southern Patagonia. I have no idea what she was doing there, but when I offered her food she hopped into my jeep. After a few years of existing on scraps and my sexual desire, Terra is ready to test out the following toys for you today. First up is the six inch Crystal Jellie Cock from those guys at Doc Johnson.

THE EXPERIMENT

Terra owns a rather large bathroom. We removed the toy from its protective box, then washed it in hot water and anti-bacterial soap. I can't stress this enough, as you never know what has impacted upon the toy from its creation to factory storage to the moment it arrives in your loved one's waiting snatch. The first thing Terra noticed was the suction cup on the balls. She tested it out on carpet, porcelain, tile, stucco and every surface in the Incognito lair.

While she was setting it up, I took notice of the fact that it was Made in the USA. We can't build cars worth a dick anymore, but we can make a plastic cock. The Greatest Generation would be spinning in their graves, if we weren't artificially keeping them alive with Zetia. While Terra positioned herself over the Silicone based cock, she took notice of the balls. Tactile fun is nice and all, but the roughness kind of scratched her ass.

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We took turns letting her ride the dildo and then having me fuck her pussy with it. She seemed to find it easier to cum on the forced motion parts of the experiment. The realistic veins and wrinkled skin worked into a groove and were able to find every hidden spot in her cunt. She was in Heaven and I was pleased.

THE PROBLEMS

The six inch crystal jellie cock doesn't fare well under much water pressure. Terra loves playing with her sex toys in the bath or shower. But, the suction cup gives away under too much water weight. When direct water current hits the cock, the cup holds for close to three minutes. Then, the increased weight on the cock head pushes the dildo down and off the mounted surface.

When you try to dry it, it takes on this odd smell and won't let go of simple beads of water. It's an odd setup, but I can see this working well for people who use a lot of lube. Those that might want to quickly dry and clean their toys will be in a world of inconvenience. This cock doesn't come dry as quickly as the real thing. 

THE SOLUTION

Going to unusual areas such as table tops and counters, Terra found a new groove. She's never been a traditional bed fuck girl and this dildo didn't get any different treatment. We propped her up on a bathroom counter. She climbed onto a coffee table, a balcony and other locations and straddled that little dildo until it screamed. Well, maybe she screamed. I was too busy taking notes.

This increased accessibility allowed for such freedom that it instantly became an added tool to her sex toy arsenal. It's not often that toys give a lady the freedom she craves. If Doc Johnson could fix the drying issues, then we would be looking at a premiere toy. Right now, it's an almost-ran. But, it's still good enough for a blind buy.

A FINAL THOUGHT...

Six inches is close to the American male average. It's not a great deal of power, but it's enough to get a girl through those lonely companion less nights. Terra made several notes about this unit, but felt like it didn't have the girth to really drive it on home. We discussed what worked and what didn't and we came to a conclusion. Thickness counts for more than length.

This is the first part in a two part investigation of the lovely Crystal Jellie Cocks being released by Doc Johnson. Terra did well with six inches, but she was up for a challenge. The eight inch jellie cock increases the girth and length of the pussy punching power. Will she be able to take it?


First, Skinemax.
Then, The Internet.
Eventually, I'll fuck the chick from Tron.


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