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Porn Reviews » Sex Toy Reviews » Crystal Jellie Cock 8

Crystal Jellie Cock 8


Studio: Doc Johnson » Review by Guy Incognito » Review Date: 4/1/08
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XCritic's Advice: Recommended




Buy Crystal Jellie Cock 8

IN WHICH I INTRODUCE MY LOVELY ASSISTANT


You guys met Terra Incognita in the last Toy review. Today, I've decided to test her out on Doc Johnson's Crystal Jellie Cock 8. She was a little unsure about eight inches. That made me feel like a tiny man. I'm not a tiny man, I'm the Guy Incognito. I'm powerful like a third world country made of cock.

Terra didn't care, she started riding the cock without me paying attention. I hope that by missing those four minutes of her awkward postioning, that I didn't push away from this product. It's a good product. Nothing's hotter than watching your lady stuff eight inches of silicone jellie love into her box.

THE EXPERIMENT

When Terra went after the eight inch Jellie cock, her eyes lit up. She had told me stories about larger guys, before she met me. But, I informed her of my ability to turn this review into the most whorish thing imaginable. She suddenly became agreeable and started talking more about the fake cock. The same comments about the six inch Jellie cock came up again.

I told her to come up with something new. So, she started bitching about the smell. The eight incher had the smell problem out of the box. I can't figure out why the six incher didn't share the same issues. But, it was all a giant mess and left me scratching my head. What was going on and how could it be fixed? I guess, that's an answer for the manufacturer.

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Terra had now worked all eight inches into her lovely pussy. While it took longer than the six inch cock, she was enjoying the added girth. A much thicker cock, the eight incher allowed Terra more rocking movement. What also helped is that the cock seemed to move on the suction cup in almost a joystick formation.

Back and forth and then through the cardinal directions. It was an amazing routine and showed off great control. She came quickly without my intervention. Terra gave me lots of detailed notes about the eight incher cock and it all came down to one thing. Thicker and bigger is better.

THE PROBLEMS

The water issues with the previous cock are amplified with the additional size. Upon taking the toy in the share, she couldn't get it to connect with tile. The drying issues lasted about the same amount of time and Terra was left in a weird position. So, she solved it by stuffing the dildo into her pussy and then rocking it back and forth between her thighs. I knew there was a reason that I loved this girl.

Private development can allow the water issues to be overcame. But, the issues are still there. Same goes for the itchy ball mold that still scratched the shit out of Terra's ass. It's not a big pain according to her. But, it's noticeable after you get off the cock.

Terra seemed to be cool with everything outside of that. I spent the past weekend trying to find the toy to review, but it never seemed to be around. Had this toy replaced me in the bedroom? I'm asking you, Doc Johnson! Don't destroy my cock with your jellie genitals of joy. I need to have my special purpose.

THE SOLUTION

Going to unusual areas such as table tops and counters, Terra found a new groove. She's never been a traditional bed fuck girl and this dildo didn't get any different treatment. We propped her up on a bathroom counter. She climbed onto a coffee table, a balcony and other locations and straddled that little dildo until it screamed. Well, maybe she screamed. I was too busy taking notes.

This increased accessibility allowed for such freedom that it instantly became an added tool to her sex toy arsenal. It's not often that toys give a lady the freedom she craves. If Doc Johnson could fix the drying issues, then we would be looking at a premiere toy. Right now, it's an almost-ran. But, it's still good enough for a blind buy.

A FINAL THOUGHT...

Eight inches is a lot to handle. Time and invention will allow you to discover new means of mastering a cock of this status. Doc Johnson is onto something with this model. They just need to drop the itchy balls. Nobody likes balls that constantly cause a problem. That's why dogs get neutered.

First, Skinemax.
Then, The Internet.
Eventually, I'll fuck the chick from Tron.


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