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Teradise Island 2 (Blu-Ray)

Studio: Teravision » Review by Guy Incognito » Review Date: 4/27/08

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

Director: Spyder Jonez
Cast: Tera Patrick, Spyder Jonez, Lucy Lee, Alexis Amore, Britney Skye and Nikki Benz
Genre: High-Def/Tropical/High Grade Production
Length of Feature: 95 mins
Condoms: No
Date of Production: 8/13-20/2005
Special Features: Trailers, Photo Gallery and Behind the Scenes


"Teradise Island 2" is an amazing look Blu-Ray disc. Fuck, it's the best looking porno that I've ever seen. Sure, I expected more than a basic Dolby 2.0 soundtrack. But, the picture is so clear. Forget about all those porn in High-Def myths you keep hearing about. Nobody looks like a corpse or a herpes riddled tramp in this flick.

There's a level of freshness to every scene that Spyder Jonez shot that has not been recaptured on any adult film. It's just a shame that Tera Patrick doesn't deliver the same intensity. I'd hate to see this become the film that Patrick chooses to leaves the industry. But, other people have done worse. Let's take a look at this heavily conflicted, yet intriguing film.


The first scene begins with Tera Patrick taking on Brittany Skye. The two ladies are leaning up against a jagged rock and getting ready bump cunts. Brittany is fiercer about the lesbian shit. Her makeup is running Tammy Faye style and she's getting mascara all over Patrick's thighs. It's pretty fucking hot. But, I wonder what got Tera involved.

-- sponsored by --

When Tera Patrick first started, she wasn't that crazy over the lesbian sex. She took to this girl-on-girl scene pretty easily, but nothing really added much to the action. It was like she was making a grocery list in her head, while riding the Brittany's strap-on. Ms. Skye should have been offended, but there's not a lot she could've done.



The second scene begins with Tera in a nice lingerie outfit getting ready to suck off Jerry. It's a standard scene with a nice build to the fucking. The 1080 upgrade is pretty sweet, but all it gets to do show off Tera's good looks. Once Jerry pops, Tera goes back to the dick suckery. It's awkward and it goes to show off what doesn't work about the scene. Tera is an old pro, but she's old.

She doesn't get the timing of the scene or what it takes to finish the moment. Sure, this is a warm-up for the big finale, but it's so fucking lame. I want to see some sweet Tera action, not this intramural pussy bullshit.



Alexis Amore gets to be the meat in between a Tommy Gunn and Kris Knight sandwich. Alexis was sucking major cock and fucking like a champ. If I didn't know anymore, I'd say that she saw rushes of the previous two scenes and knew that this fucker had to get the pussy action upped. Hell, she did everything but DVDA.

No one in reality can do DVDA, but it works well. The only thing that fell apart is the anal sequence that felt rushed. You can't rush ass-fucking. Ask any loose lady you know.



Lucy Lee and Brittany Skye teamed up to suck and fuck Tommy Gunn. The sex is standard, but it fell apart when it came down to the doggystyle line. This assembly line approach to fucking is dehumanizing, but sexy. Nothing says sexier any better than shit like this. They might as well have the chicks line up with a special placard hanging from their coccyx. "Please Insert Cock" --- The Feel Good Hit of the Year. Also, for the Ass to Mouth fans out there, Brittany gets to eat a little butthole. So, do with that what you will.



Nikki Benz seems like the kind of chick that's a real Lassie. She makes this contortionist faces and howls like a fucking banshee. She rides the cock in the puss and the browneye, then it's even more Ass to Mouth. What the fuck is wrong with people? I swear that porn fans have the mental consistency of Steve-O when it comes to this shit. No matter what sick shit happens, nobody can jerk off unless someone's eating ass.


Tera Patrick takes on her husband Evan Seinfeld in the last scene. It's a nice scene and one where Evan Seinfeld stood out like a champ. It's just that the editing and the positioning of Patrick allowed for several awkward sequences. She seemed like she was posing for Sports Illustrated, while Seinfeld was trying to do his god damn job. Still, it works well. I like the random nature of performance and the dichotomy that it can produce. 


"Teradise Island 2" is an amazing flick about how hot Tera Patrick still is after a decade of being a Porn Queen. Will she ever reach Nina Hartley levels of stardom? Well, after this...she's just about there. I look forward to seeing her in more High-Def porn. Fuck, I look forward to just seeing more of Tera Patrick.

First, Skinemax.
Then, The Internet.
Eventually, I'll fuck the chick from Tron.

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