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Please Pay My Tuition

Studio: Other » Review by Crimson Clown » Review Date: 4/17/08

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

In what I'm sure is to be a startling chronicle of affable young women looking to make their way through college through earning extra money in the search for the ultimate education, whilst enlightening the country on the painful economic crises to where young folks are unable to afford enrolling in college without obtaining a few jobs, director Cabbie brings us "Please Pay My Tuition," about girls who... well read above, except throw in "hand job" and "swallow" in the mix, and you'll pretty much sum up what the latest from Outlaw Productions is about, sans the intellectual pretense. Really, these gorgeous young women want tuition money. And these five lovelies will fuck anyone to get it. Don't you dare judge them, that's not being a whore, that's knowing how to hold them. And incidentally, none of them slap him when he offers fucking for money. And I'm sitting here wondering what fifty bucks would get me. Hey, I'm horny, not a millionaire. Cabbie is looking for women who will be helped with their tuition if they fuck...

Co-Ed Taryn Thomas
Taryn is at Rutgers and has a 4.0 average (hey, it's porn, turn off the logic button) and she's draped in cute winter clothing including a cap and a blanket bashfully talking to Cabbie who interviews her briefly asking her about her tuition and manipulating her into considering fucking as a method of grabbing some extra money. She doesn't have a job, and her father cut her off. How is she still in school? Taryn is gorgeous, and even gullible, but also gorgeous, and even under the heavy clothing she's really cute. And better so, Taryn's performance as this school girl trying to shock her dad is shockingly natural and believable. After some insistence and shocking alternatives Cabbie suggests, Cabbie poses the option of bringing her back to his apartment for twenty minutes to engage in some fucking. Dropping her clothes, Taryn meets up with her fuck partner who is barely introduced to her before she drops to her knees and begins sucking him off hungrily. She doesn't even ask for half of the money, or an upfront check, you gotta love 4.0 intelligence! So, she's enjoying it sucking him off and licking his balls, and eggs her dad on looking at the camera and mutters "See what I have to do to get money, daddy?" And then it becomes sad... that stumbling block aside, the sucking is sloppy and wet, and she drops back onto the bed taking off her skimpy clothing and is fucked in her snowcap, scarf and leg warmers. He mounts her and rapidly fucks her with her legs spread wide apart, and she screams asking for more. He keeps pounding her pussy hard, and lifts her legs up to pump her. After spitting bile at her mother, she bends over to be pummeled from behind screaming and barely able to keep her hold on the bed, and is then spread on her back to be fucked. Finally, he cums on her, and the two share a cum swap back and forth. Ah, hepatitis.

Co-Ed Keeani Lei

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Cabbie ends up at the Skateplex where cute little Keeani is skating all by her little lonesome and doing a damn good job of convincing us that she's experienced in the boarding. She's so involved, she doesn't even see the camera, boom mic, and Cabbie, but she's good. Cabbie fondles her with his eyes and then approaches her learning that she goes to FSU, and asks about her current financial situation. Keeani doesn't seem too distressed and explains that her waitressing does nothing to help her out. Lei is a cutey pie just like Thomas and also sells the whole financially challenged college girl bit well, even having a daddy complex like Thomas. She's so petite and tight that she can almost pass herself off as a fifteen year old, which gets kind of weird watching her being pounded. After some slight convincing, Lei and co. are back at Cabbie's crib making out like their ship is going down, and Lei strips her mate who fondles her. She unbuckles her stud and drops down to suck his cock off like a pro, humming and rubbing his thights as he clutches her hair. She deep throats him, gags, he smacks her cheek, and she pounds it in the back of her throat to feel it, jerking him off a bit and egging on her mom and dad. She drops to the bad with her legs spread and he eats her pussy out long and deep and penetrates her pounding her senseless as she screeches like a bird, and maintains her composure. She leans over to suck him off again, and proceeds her tongue and mouth show for the cameras. After salivating on her asshole, tattoo dude bends Lei over and pounds her ass like a pistol barely able to push it all the way in without impaling her, and she can't even take half without going berserk. After some ass time, Lei turns to suck him off again now crouched in the pouncing position, and after some light kissing, she mounts him backwards and rides his cock gently. They form a 69, and she commences the riding. She then leans over to suck his cock slowly, and takes it up her plump ass hard, and is spread on the floor taking it sideways. Finishing off, she takes shots to the face from him and gargles his cum. Ah, disgusting.

Co-Ed Savannah Stern
Holy shit it's Ron Jeremy! Holy shit, he's older than ever! Holy shit, is there really a Big Tit University? Does big tits apply to women, or men and women? And why him and not Jugs Malone*? The improv from Jeremy is pretty bland and rather tedious. Why is he there? What's he going to do? And more importantly, why break the illusion of this being a reality porn? Either way, Ron teaches on a poorly constructed classroom set, where Savannah Stern is the star pupil. Dressed in a gorgeous hot pink dress, her class mate keeps fondling her large beautiful ass, much to Stern's anger, and she moves around the room trying to avoid the gropes. Why wear a dress like that if you don't want to ogled? This segment was horrible, and dropped this movie down a definite notch. After hinting about his love for big tits, Jeremy brings Stern (the only woman in the classic, coincidentally) up to the front to fondle her boobs, and Stern proceeds to strip and dance for her entire class. The very people she didn't even want to be touched by. Oh, the stupidity. Stern is put on the block as Jeremy indulges by kissing her tits, and eating her pussy out for the class room. As she's fondled left and right, Jeremy eats her out and gropes her tits like a master, amd fucks her pussy, then her ass. He eats her pussy out again, then fucks her, and she bends over to suck his cock off deep throating him sloppily. She mounts him to impale herself with his giant cock, and rides only half of his shaft while Jeremy fists the other half, and then cums on her chest. Cabbie, you disappoint me.

Co-Ed Emma Heart
After the stupidity finally ends, we get back to business with the lovely Emma Heart who is standing with considerable reluctance while Cabbie eggs her on and explains that she's going to fuck to pay her tuition and... yes, she's going to fuck and suck Cabbie! Oh joy, that's so not being a greedy bastard. She sucks him off and makes love to his shaft and smiling at him and he's fairly unresponsive, which is astounding, to say the least. She sucks him off some more and... then he berates her for sucking his cock poorly. She giggles, and the end. No really, it ends there. Ah, filler.

Co-Ed Sarah Vandella
Greedy bastard Cabbie, obviously running out of ideas, comes across the lovely Sarah Vandella, a cute if not bland college chick who isn't as convincing as the other two co-eds. Her improv is goofy, and her angst is awfully cartoonish. Cabbie's interaction with her is also painfully stilted and boring. The movie gets off to such a high note and then just drops into mediocrity and abysmal straying from the concept. Vandella's segment almost gets it back on track, but with only eighteen minutes left, there's only so much to do. Vandella just doesn't convince me she's in financial need, thus my interest is reduced. Further more the fascination drops when Vandella appears at Cabbie's apartment in different clothing and made up! She meets her mate who is ready and prime for fucking, and the thirteen minute fuckfest begins. Vandella begins to strip down, and my god, she's awfully hot to look at, fuck believability. Her tits are great, her face is great, and she drops down to suck him off with pleasure sucking the shaft, and blowing him slowly and steadily. She smacks his cock against her great tits, and sucks him off some more. "If they have a class for blowjobs... at parties, you'd be professor." Cabbie, save the in-jokes for someone else. The gorgeous Vandella rides her mate fast and hard screaming and bracing herself, and it's a great improvement from the previous segments. She looks like she's into it, and did I mention she's mind-blowingly hot? After extended sucking, Vandella is bent over to be fucked from behind as she cries out and grins at the camera, and Bill spreads her apart to fuck her pussy as she growls and braces his pumps. After slow and steady fucking, he pops some shots in her face, and she mugs for the camera boasting about the cum clogging her eye lids. Ah, beauty.

The video is rather fantastic with a sharp crystal quality that makes the movie a jewel to watch. The exterior and interior shots are vibrant with some great smooth tones and crisp picture set to a full screen format. The sudden shift into Stern's segment reduces the movie to a poorer grainier quality, and horribly fuzzy direction. The sound is great with all the dialogue coming through loud and clear along with audible smacks and pumps carrying through with exceptional clarity.

Among the bells and whistles we're given the options of intro, sex, and pop for each chapter, which is convenient. There's the seven minute "Behind the Scenes" featurette which features Cabbie on the set of the movie walking in on Taryn who is being made up and has a clever riff with her. She looks annoyed, and who can blame her? Cabbie is quite annoying. There's really nothing here but Cabbie running around and posing idiotic questions to his stars who try to ad-lib as much as possible and stumble gloriously. There's also a great photo gallery, and a pop shot recap. Among the mix are trailers, and "More Fun" which is just commercials to hot lines and nothing more.

After Thought:
It's all very good stuff save for the Savannah Stern segment where the horrible scenario, poor sets, inexplicable Ron Jeremy appearance, and ridiculous concept drop "Please Pay My Tuition," from Highly Recommended to merely being Recommended. I don't know the circumstances behind Stern's segment, and I don't care, because it sucked. The rest of the movie however is filled with absolutely gorgeous realistic college girls all looking to get by through the side job of fucking a complete stranger. If only for the quality of three of the five segments here, "Please Pay My Tuition" is a good movie with some decent extras.

* Jugs Malone is not a real person. At least I don't think.

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