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Porn Reviews » Sex Toy Reviews » Nookii Toy: In The Mood For Love

Nookii Toy: In The Mood For Love

Studio: Other » Review by Michael Vega » Review Date: 4/24/08

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

After my last experience going outside the box and reviewing toys instead of DVDs, I decided to put that aside and give it another shot. See, two years ago, I popped my "adult toy" cherry with Jesse Jane's Deep Throat Masturbator. Needless to say, it wasn't pleasant.

Still, after seeing the Nookii Toy - In the Mood For Love on our screener list, I decided to throw caution into the wind and say "Hey, why the hell not?". I mean, at the very least, it'll break up the monotony of reviewing DVDs...right?

Unlike last time (and since I don't have a vagina), I had to enlist help from the missus. I nudged her awake and dropped my best line - "Feel like helping me review this?" With game like that, she couldn't resist. So I opened up the cylinder and unpacked the items inside, which included:

  • Pearl - A "chic designer nodular waterproof vibrator.
  • Tickler - A "sensual designer sleeve".
  • Pack of Love Action Cards.
  • Fluffy pink blindfold.
  • Do Not Disturb door sign.
Each item comes sealed separately in plastic. According to the outer container, the Pearl requires 2 AA batteries, so I set off to find some. Once I found them (in my DVD remote control), I tried installing them. I pulled out the plastic tray, snapped the AA's inside and closed the vibe. I clicked on the button. 

No go. Perhaps they were inserted the wrong way? Nope.

So, for the next ten minutes or so, I tried a variety of combinations and various AA batteries from remotes around the house. As I continued to get it to work, I felt my blood rushing - unfortunately, it was rushing to the wrong head. So I decided to give it to the missus and let her deal with it.

Not even ten seconds had passed and she has it humming. Guess it needed a woman's touch, huh?

-- sponsored by --

While she was examining the Pearl, I unwrapped the other four items. There are 21 "Love Action" cards total - with categories ranging from "Tips For Play" to "Suggestions For Him/Her". The cards are pretty "sensual" (as opposed to "naughty" or "downright nasty") and are definitely recommended for couples in a relationship. In other words, don't bother bringing them along if you want to use 'em with a chick you just picked up at a club. When I finished giving the cards a once-over, we started getting down to business.

I put the fluffy pink blindfold on the missus and started undressing her. When she was fully nekkid, I started with the foreplay (more than I usually am accustomed to doing). I was kissing her neck while gently running my fingers along various parts of her body (that usually causes her nipples to get hard). In fact, it was while I was sucking on her nipples that I grabbed the Pearl, clicked it on and began putting it against her body. As I was winding up licking between her breasts (she likes that for some reason), I started moving my tongue down past her belly-button while I spread her legs apart. I ran the Pearl along her inner thigh, on the way up to her pussy (while spending some time at her belly button). When the Pearl and her pussy finally connected, she was already wet, so there was no alternate lubrication necessary. From there, I put the tip of the Pearl along her clit and slowly moved it back and forth. As I did this, I figured i'd put all the endless hours of porn i've watched to good use and decided to get my tongue and some fingers involved along with the Pearl (i'm a pretty good multi-tasker). At this point, she was practically dripping, so I slowly slid the Pearl inside of her (while keeping it on the "low" setting). I spent some time using it to fuck her, before she demanded that I fuck her instead. I reminded her that we were only in this situation in the interest of public service, so she said I could keep the Pearl on her clit as long as it was me that was inside of her. It really didn't take me long to grant her wish, since watching her reaction with the Pearl had done more than enough to arouse me. We continued this way for some time.

However, I almost totally forgot about the Tickler. Now, remember, i've had limited personal experience with toys (well, make that ONE experience), so I had no idea which way the Tickler was supposed to go on my dick. Was it ribbed for my pleasure? Do I put it on with the bumps on the inside so I feel some of what Jesse had tried to do oh-so-long ago? Or do I put it on with the bumps out? But, wait...wouldn't that hurt her? I mean, I know the female species give birth on a regular basis, but she's not loose enough to slide the entire thing inside of her without some discomfort. So, I decided to make sure that she had enough lubricant (just in case) and slid the sleeve on. Even though she still had the blindfold on (remember that?), I informed her what I was going to do (very gently). Frankly, I think she was still reeling from the licking that I gave her and would've let me do anything to her ("Hey honey, i'm supposed to figure a way to stick this bowling ball up there..."). So, with the sleeve on, I slowly (and gently) slid it inside of her. For the most part, it didn't do much for her. There was no arousal, no pain either. I figured "Ah ha! It is for me! I just have it on the wrong way!" I pulled out of her, took off the Tickler, turned it inside out and slid it back on. With the tickler on, I slid back inside of her and gave her a couple of thrusts. No. Wasn't doing anything for me. It was doing even less for her too. So I decided to pull it off and continue fucking her the good 'ol fashioned way.

During a pause between positions, I grabbed the Pearl and spent some time using it on her clit and inside of her again (at both speeds this time). I guess I overstayed my welcome, because she said she was starting to feel "desensitized" by the vibing. Either that, or she just wanted me back inside of her (I have a feeling it was the latter). So, since sex isn't supposed to be something painful (unless you're into that sort of thing), I threw the Pearl near the pillow and we spent the remainder of the time toy (but not blindfold) free.

Would I pay for this? No, I don't think I would.

Frankly, the cards were useless to me (I didn't think they were "naughty" enough), as was the Tickler (worn both ways). However, the missus felt some "heightened pleasure" because of the blindfold and the Pearl was quite sleek, sturdy and, once you figure out how to load the batteries, a welcome addition to our usual foreplay. Since there is no Rent It classification (which makes sense...duh), i'm comfortable giving this a Recommended rating based on how impressive the Pearl was in its simplicity and durability.

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