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Kick Ass Chicks 50: Nerdy Girls

Studio: Kick Ass Pictures » Review by Guy Incognito » Review Date: 5/13/08

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Kick Ass Pictures

Condoms: None

Length: 180 + Minutes

Date Of Production: 5/2/07

Cast: Sammie Rhodes, Jassie, Violet Blue, Angel Long, Cytherea, Tawny Roberts and Juliana Kincaid

Special Features: Kick Ass Pictures saw fit to bring you bloopers. Nothing makes you feel like your money was well-spent as bloopers. Chick accidentally gets jizz in the eye, it's fucking hilarity. Somebody gets a back door visitor? That's fucking gold. Cut and print the bitch, it's a million seller.

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in an anamorphic widescreen format with strong video quality. There were very few points of haze and the transfer stayed strong  Plenty of natural and artificial lighting helped to cover the set, exposing nothing. The audio was the standard 2.0 stereo and it worked for what it was. I just wanted to hear some more dynamic stuff in the larger areas. A changed setting requires a new mix.

Scene 1 - Jassie. Jassie is working a superhero fantasy. She goes through some softcore femdom acts, before it goes over to hardcore penetration. Jassie's look is fresh, but it doesn't gel for me. It might be because her male performer came across as a douche, but she should've been able to compensate for it. The lack of focus and general softness to her fucking led me to want to reject the DVD, but I kept on.

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Scene 2 - Juliana Kincaid. The second scene has Juliana working as a sexy accountant. Juliana has a fresh faced look that suits her body well. The only problem is that she doesn't have that much of a personality. Her performance works well on a physical level, but I don't want to listen to her. She can't talk sexy and she doesn't stimulate the mind. It takes me out of the nerd fetish and it just puts me out of the mood. But, she can sure suck a mean cock.

Scene 3 - Angel Long. Angel Long comes across as a sexed-up Roger Ebert type in this scene. Nothing's hotter than a movie critic that I want to fuck. It's slow, awkwardly shot scene that reminds of some of the older Late-Night programs on Showtime. Everything feels overly staged, but the production design is nice.

When Angel slips into the sex, she gets the tempo. She works the shaft and makes sure that the male performer knows when to hit his cues. That's talent, but she needs to know when not to milk the moment. I was left waiting to see what was going to happen, but it felt like an eternity before any penetration. Poor form, Angel.

Scene 4 - Sammie Rhodes. Sammie works a wildlife expert that visits to find out the truth behind a certain species of insect. She's a great looking lady that is straight porn A-list material. It's just that there wasn't anything about her performance that stood out. She's a decent little sexpot and she got her male performer to respond with gusto. Nothing else really happened and I was left with clean-up a little too early for my taste.

Scene 5 - Cytherea. Cytherea is at the Sci-Fi convention when she decides to give a handful of geeks the day of their lives. This scene bordered on offensive for genre enthusiasts. Cytherea puts up with the bullshit dialogue and works her way into deflowering some pseudo-virgins. The set looked like shit and so did most of the co-stars. But, Cytherea held the scene without using any of her trademarks. It's nice to see an actress that realizes a perfect pussy and expert control is all that matters.

Scene 6 - Tawny Roberts. Tawny is working as biochemist, when someone stops by to drop a dirty load on her face. She's all talky-talky and nothing else. By the time, it comes to the fucking, I want all of her holes filled. She might learn to talk out of her ass and I can't stand to hear more of that. She needs it all sealed shut, because I don't want to hear a fucking sound. Gabber, jabber, gabber and more bullshit. Just suck, fuck or eat a cock and move on!

Scene 7- Violet Blue. Violet is writing in her on-line diary, when she finds the guy of her dreams. It's a match made in cyber-heaven, as she proceeds to fuck the guy into oblivion. Violet's technique is growing on me and she's got quite the personality. It's just that she doesn't really add anything to the scene. It's another one of porndom's takes on the one thing that helped them bleed into the mainstream. For an industry that lives and dies by the Internet, you would've thought that they could've developed this scene into something more.

Final Thoughts: If you're a nerd, then you should be offended. If you've got a working cock, then you won't care. There are women that show a fake interest in things you like. Get the Kleenex and drop your jeans. It's time to start smacking your cock around. But, only rent this title. You've got better things to spend your cash on. 

First, Skinemax.
Then, The Internet.
Eventually, I'll fuck the chick from Tron.

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