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Sex Bus, The

Studio: Private » Review by Guy Incognito » Review Date: 5/12/08

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online


Director: J.F. Romagnoli

Condoms: None

Length: 110 Minutes

Date Of Production: 2/1/08

Cast: Black Angelika, Gilda Roberts, Jasmine Rouge, Amy Cameron, Simony Diamond, Louise Black and Linda Brown

Special Features: Private Movies offers up people fucking on a bus. So, the best you could hope for was a Behind the Scenes look and photo gallery. What did you want? Commentaries, trailers and a music video? You people and your damn needs!

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in an anamorphic widescreen format with strong video quality. There were very few points of haze and the transfer stayed strong  Plenty of natural and artificial lighting helped to cover the set, exposing nothing. The audio was the standard 2.0 stereo and it didn't seem to be that well mixed. There was a lot of dropped dialogue. But, is that such a bad thing in porn?

Scene 1 - Amy Cameron. Amy Cameron introduces us to the Sex Bus by sucking some guy's cock on the bus. It's pretty straightforward and nothing comes of it. It's basic sex to get us warmed into the main feature. That being more people fucking on a random bus touring the countryside. There's no grand concept and there's nothing that you need to sell. It's the Sex Bus. The Snakes on a Plane of the Porn World.

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Scene 2 - Gilda Roberts. The next scene brings us Gilda doing her best to give this guy a lapdance. It's weird and out of place, but she transitions nicely into fucking. There's a certain element of her performance that makes it work and I'm glad that it did. Still, it's just more of the basic suck, fuck and semen splash of the other scenes. If there would've been some break in the action, then I would've been appreciative.

Scene 3 - Jasmine Rouge. Rouge comes out in this nice little whore outfit. It works well, as she blows her man goodbye. She's a little wary of the Sex Bus, but she shows a performance that should've gotten her onto the vehicle. Those tits are near perfect and I wanted to see them covered in cum. Unfortunately, the scene breaks away before we get the finale that I wanted.

Scene 4 - Simony Diamond. Simony Diamond makes the mid-point shift work well by meeting two guys at a Sex Bus stop. They're in the middle of a park when they decide to find a new location to fuck. This eventually turns into a stop at the sex dungeon. Sucking and fucking between the bars leads to a nice money shot and a quick ride into the next scene.


Scene 5 - Linda Brown. Linda is talking to her husband in the middle of his garage at the start of this scene. This leads to some foreplay and some more dick work. Then, the fucking starts. The male performer in this scene was fierce and never gave the girl an inch to work. He just fucking pounded her into next week. Quite a beautiful scene and left me waiting for the finale.

Scene 6 - Black Angelika and Louise Black . Angelika, Louise and an unidentified chick decide to heat up the finale. Angelika is dressed up in a wedding gown, while Louise and the other girl just go at it. We've got two scenes in one, as everything merges back and forth. The Sex Bus doesn't care, it's like the Red Room from "Twin Peaks". All they need is that little dude from "Carnivale" to start booging in between the fucking while someone plays some backwards jazz. It's a work of art and it beats anything that I've seen close out a Private porno before.

Final Thoughts: Private has always been one of those porn companies that should impress me, but doesn't. Their production values are second-to-none and they always show a lot of inventiveness in their new features. It's just that the story isn't there. Everything that write seems like a break-neck race to get to the fucking. I want some room to breathe, people. Give it to me. 

First, Skinemax.
Then, The Internet.
Eventually, I'll fuck the chick from Tron.

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