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Fast Times at Naughty America University Vol. 6

Studio: Naughty America » Review by Guy Incognito » Review Date: 5/13/08

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Condoms: None

Length: 92 Minutes

Director: Tommy Pistol

Date Of Production: 3/14/08

Cast: Cheyenne Marie, Priscilla Milan, Alyssa Dior and Courtney James

Special Features: Naughty America drops another edition of "Fast Times at Naughty America University" on us. You get some basic special features such as Photo Gallery and Behind the Scenes. If you really can call any supplemental "special", then you're special and should be wearing a helmet.

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in an anamorphic widescreen format with strong video quality. There were very few problems with the transfer and the audio handled decently. It's just that for the up-close scenes, it sounded like the microphone was being dangled two inches from the girls' labias. Back that shit up, boom mike operator.

Scene 1 - Cheyenne Marie. Cheyenne Marie invites a guy over to her dorm, then fucks him. I didn't see that one coming either. There's the basic talking and foreplay, then the cock slobbery. Eventually, Cheyenne gets to show us her complete lack of performance control. She just throws herself onto the dick and hopes she doesn't fall off. I wanted to see some skill, but all I got was some chick riding a cock like a drunk driver in a School Zone.

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Scene 2 - Priscilla Milan. This perky little thing is up next and she's got personality. Sure, she doesn't show that great of talent in front of the camera, but she's engaging. She carries the audience through the foreplay and holds her own during the sex. It's just that I want to see some talent coming from these supposed amateurs. All I'm getting is nothing more than a bunch of washed up actresses trying to hold my attention until their pussies get stuffed.

Scene 3 - Alyssa Dior. This girl brought the goods. She's got a beautiful face and she knows how to play the college girl role. She also has to work the hard position of being the middle chick. Her scene will decide how the rest of the DVD will play out. She can either save it or bury this turd in the litter box. Lucky for her, she saved with that mouth and that ass. She's got amazing skills in front of the camera and she knew how to sell it. Plus, she takes a cumshot like nobody's business. I don't think a warehouse full of Bounty paper towels could've pulled every drop off of her.

Scene 4 - Courtney James. Courtney is being hit on by two guys at her school. They wait for her and do a pseudo abduction thing. They try to act, but it doesn't matter. Courtney's got her tits out and it's time to fuck. This leads to some sweet Chinese Fingercuff action, as they start to slam that shit. Sweet fucking and lame acting in Porn is as American as Apple Pie. They changed positions and shit too, but if you need me to list those out, then go count the tiles in the ceiling.

Scene 5 - Courtney James. In the main menu, they use this picture of Courtney James that makes her look like Madonna's daughter. You know the one with the freaky caveman eyebrows. It's gross and it doesn't do James the justice that her beauty deserves. Now her performance in the final scene doesn't her much justice either. She pops in on the male performer, they bullshit and they fuck.

The finale is blown out of the gates by the lack of timing. She just kind of happens onto the scene and into her performance. I wanted to see more, but everything has become so formulaic in this film that I can't find any special appreciation. Cookie-cutter porn doesn't do anyone any favors and it's what Naughty America had done here.

Final Thoughts: Naughty America doesn't seem to have that firm of a grasp on the College Aged Pussy genre. Sure, they deliver Amateur and MILF work like nobody's business, but I'm not feeling them in this realm. I want better actresses and I want better production design. Throwing up a map of the USA doesn't turn a room into a classroom. You've got to have a Hispanic janitor jerking off onto the dry-erase board to sell the fantasy. 

First, Skinemax.
Then, The Internet.
Eventually, I'll fuck the chick from Tron.

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