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Public Invasion 7

Studio: Bang Bros » Review by Guy Incognito » Review Date: 5/13/08

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Bang Bros
Public Fucking!

Condoms: None

Length: 100 Minutes

Date Of Production: 3/7/08

Cast: Ellen, Helena, Cristina, Jana and Carmen

Special Features: Bang Bros does what they do best. They offer up a DVD of fucking chicks on the street with underwhelming special features.

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in an anamorphic widescreen format with strong video quality. There were very few points of haze and the transfer stayed strong  Plenty of natural and artificial lighting helped to cover the set, exposing nothing. The audio was the standard 2.0 stereo. I had some trouble understanding the interviewer, but it was nothing major.

Scene 1 - Nikol. Nikol is a great introduction to the movie. She knows how to work the scene and she introduces the interviewer and the audience into the world of public fucking. She's got a great ass, but there's not a whole lot else. I wish that they could've found a better starter girl, but she's the warm-up act. You don't go to the concert for the opener. You go for the real deal.

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Scene 2 - Helena. Helena's tits are fucking epic. She could've been the DVD's closer girl, but they used her early to recover from Nikol's lack of personality. It might take forever and a day to talk Helena out of her underwear, but it comes and it's amazing. I don't where she's from, but Helena has a future in American porn. I want thicker looking chicks and I want them now. Helena could be a trendsetter, people. You heard it here first.

Scene 3 - Jana. Jana meets up with the Interviewer and a nice foreign restaurant. She's quick to show off the pussy and exhibits a personality that hints at more carnally. Jana has that Ellen Page quality in the sense that I wanted to fuck Juno and this chick might be pregnant. That worked out better in my head, but I'm thinking about that blog post from earlier where a fellow XCritic talked about "Hard Candy".

After Jana lets the guy finger some, they start fucking. It's sweet and down-home, but there's nothing more to it. She could've at least done some anal. Maybe, there was anal. The scene was pretty dark and I had my cock in my hands. I tend to get distracted.

Scene 4 - Ellen. Ellen is cute and bubbly. It's just a shame that I have to keep putting up with looking at the Interviewer's uncircumcised cock. You've got insurance now with the Bang Brothers. Pay the cash and get that shit cleaned the fuck up. Back to Ellen.

She's got this sweet face that I want to jizz on. Naturally, I have to live vicariously through gross cock interviewer, as he slams her. She reminds of the hick chick from "The Faculty". I think her name's Laura Harris or something. It doesn't matter, I'm just trying to come up with a cultural touching point for the readers. I hope that you appreciate that. Just like Ellen appreciated the cock pounding her pussy from behind. Such sweet Doggy Style action that it almost justifies a blind buy.

Scene 5 - Carmen. Carmen is the tour guide that I want when I visit wherever the fuck the Bang Brothers went to in this DVD. She's got amazing tits, regardless of the odd face she makes in the screenshot above. Plus, she doesn't care that cops might stop the shenanigans. She's down for fucking whenever. That's a Jersey Girl attitude in the Soviet Bloc. You didn't see that kind of shit in "Hostel 2" and that's why it fucking bombed. Loose chicks help to make anything go down smoother. Even wholesale slaughter of backpacking tourists. Fuck, they could've wacked somebody in the background of this movie and I wouldn't have known. Just take a look at those tits. Tell me who the 14th President of the United States was while looking at those tits. You can't. If you tried your cock will explode and take out one of your eyes.

Final Thoughts: Chicks in what's supposedly a Russo-Euro country getting fucked on the street corner. What's not to love? Well, the Bang Brothers interviewer is starting to irritate the fuck out of me. I don't care for the voice or the disdain for the women. But, the company knows the talent to pick and they know how to get the work out of them. So, I recommend it.

First, Skinemax.
Then, The Internet.
Eventually, I'll fuck the chick from Tron.

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