The Main Event If there is one constant in life, it's that we will forever be
disappointed by celebrity sex tapes. Much like every reality TV show
since the first season of "The Real World," every star who's done the
deed on film since Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson has been a let down, be
they sexy tramps like Kim Kardashian or freakshows like Dustin Diamond
(even a proficient bimbo like Paris Hilton couldn't get the lighting
right.) It just seems like having sex in front of a camera is best left
to the pros.
That hasn't stopped the trend from rolling forward, though the latest
entry in the genre predates all the others, as a short film reel
supposedly starring legendary guitarist Jimi Hendrix, in bed with a
pair of sexually-willing white ladies, has come to light. Starting with
the limited material in the scene, Vivid has built a mini-documentary
about '60s sexuality, and Hendrix' exploits in particular.
Calling in a pair of icons of rock and roll sex, supergroupies Pamela
Des Barres and Cynthia Plastercaster, to serve as experts in an attempt
to authenticate the film, the DVD actually does a decent job of looking
at Hendrix' era, utilizing a wealth of photos and the occasional silly
film clip. Unfortunately, the ladies only have so much to say about
Hendrix' "purple haze," so you hear the same stuff over and over, but
if you're going to talk about rock star cocks, these two are the ones
to get. It is really weird though to watch two older women watching a
porn as they discuss the qualities of the penis on-screen.
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The actual scene, which is scored by guitar music and absent of any
sound from the action, is a bit more than 10 minutes long, and is not
the most exciting sex ever captured on film. The clip starts with the
two brunettes working on Jimi's cock, sucking and licking the dark
member, while making out with each other a bit as well. The girls are
pretty average looking, which is reason enough to doubt that this is
Hendrix they're blowing, but it was much harder to get chicks to screw
on camera back then, so you probably took what you could get. Together,
they give his dick a thorough working-over, but it doesn't seem to do
much for Jimi, as he just lays there with his eyes closed. Seriously,
he looks like a corpse, and this barely changes throughout the video.
If you dug him up today, he'd be just as active.
Once they are done blowing him, one of the girls climbs on top for a
reverse ride, giving a good view of her hairy snatch and hefty breasts.
Again, Jimi's barely involved, but we get some close-ups of her pussy
getting stuff with cock. These women have two of the furriest laps I've
ever seen, with the one looking like she's wearing hairy bikini
bottoms. That doesn't stop Jimi from stacking them up and eating out
their pussies, giving them a wet, close-up licking. Then, it's back to
the reverse ride, though this time Jimi's a bit more involved, pumping
his hips, while the other girl squats over her friend's face. The
action ends with an internal pop-shot that spills out of her snatch and
coats Jimi's balls.
I'm no forensic analyst, but I don't think it's actually Jimi Hendrix
in this film. I think it's actually a guy smart enough to see he had a
resemblance to the guitar master, who slapped a bandana on his head and
got to bang a couple of white girls. But even if it is Hendrix, it's not
something you need to see, unless you're really, really curious. It's
just not entertaining enough, and it's certainly not very sexy.
"Jimi Hendrix," Two Girls | Oral (F/M), 3-Way, Vaginal
Reverse Cowgirl | Condoms: No |
Audio/Video The DVD is presented in anamorphic widescreen, though the sex scene is full-frame, with black bars on the sides. The documentary material looks terrific, with no defects and a high-quality image that's bright and detailed. The sex scene is in much worse shape, naturally, with a good deal of dirt and damage along with some heavy grain. None of the action is obscured by the condition, which looks like any old home movie you've seen from the '60s or '70s.
The Dolby Digital 2.0 audio track is clean, but considering there's no sex sounds in the scene, all you get is the rock music that runs throughout the mini-doc.
Extras Vivid realized they needed to supplement the meager sex offerings in the scene with a bunch of bonus material, so you get other stuff to check out once you're done being disappointed. Up first is a quartet of four deleted scenes, but they are all of the supergroupie interviews. Des Barres talks about Jim Morrison, Elvira and photos of Hendrix, while Plastercaster shows off some of the cocks she's casted. They actually are relatively interesting to check out. The two supergroupies return for an audio commentary on the sex scene, though you hear a lot of what they say in the mini-doc. What you didn't hear before is the giggling, gasps and silly comments that are awkward to listen to.
Two photo galleries, one automatic and one manual, have nothing to do with the sex scene, which is why they are cool to look at, with lots of classic images of the rock god. If you want to get back into the sex though, there's a breakdown by position, which is kind of unnecessary, considering how little there is. If you want more though, there are three bonus scenes, which stick with the main scene's interracial theme. If you like that genre, they are good scenes, though Janine just isn't the hottie she used to be.
"Savanna's Been Blackmaled" - Savanna Sampson, Tyler Knight & Brian Pumper
"Call Girl Confidential" - Monique Alexander, Amber Peach & Mr. Marcus
"Janine's Been Blackmaled" - Janine, Sean Michaels & Mr. Marcus
As usual you also get a bunch of previews and commercials for Vivid products. Then, you also get a second disc,
the 2008 Vivid Preview (which comes a bit late, considering it's already May.) The disc has 15 previews, a fuck-load of commercials for Vivid products, and five bonus scenes, almost the equivalent of a bonus film. The scenes aren't anything special, but they are certainly hot, especially the still-hot-as-hell Savanna's anal willingness and the Lanny Barbi scene, as she's one of the sexiest girls I've seen lately, thanks to her fat tits and well-toned, yet not skinny body.
"The American Dream" - Monique Alexander & Marcus London
"Intimate Strangers" - Lanny Barbi & Van Damage
"Illicit" - Stefani Morgan & Kurt Lockwood
"Rough Draft" - Savanna Samson & Jerry
"Sunburn" - Cassidey & Scott Nails
Concluding Words You may have some curiosity in you that wants to see a guy who may be Jimi Hendrix bone a couple of old-school whores, but if you can curb that temptation, you'll be happier for it, as even with the extras Vivid smartly included, the reason you're checking it out is a let-down. That is, unless you're into stag-reel quality porn. If so, perhaps you'll get off on this rather boring DVD, where the extras are actually more impressive than the main feature.