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Porn Reviews » Sex Toy Reviews » Mr. Marcus Personal Fluffer Puckered Ass

Mr. Marcus Personal Fluffer Puckered Ass


Studio: Doc Johnson » Review by Guy Incognito » Review Date: 6/10/08


XCritic's Advice: Recommended

FUCK THAT ASS!

Five minutes into pounding the personal ass fluffer, I was feeling down. My enjoyment of this sex toy peaked at the moment of insertion. There are no contours to the ass and nothing to stimulate. You will just keep slamming your cock into plastic over and over again. Doesn't that sound like fun?

IT'S LIKE NED BEATTY, JUST WITHOUT THE SQUEALING

If you were expecting something great from the fake ass, then you're getting nothing. It's just a sheathe to fuck. The lube doesn't make any difference, which is nice. This was the only fluffer that didn't have that odd smell to it. But, shouldn't an ass smell? No. That would be too much.

-- sponsored by --

This is the most disappointing of an already underperforming batch of toys. It's not like I'm expecting the fake ass to fuck me. But, I want it to be something more than something that covers my dick for an indeterminate amount of time. I've got a woman for that. Well, what used to be a woman.


DOES IT MAKE YOU GAY IF YOU WANTED SOME FAKE HAIR ON THE FAKE ASS? I'M TALKING FOZZIE THE BEAR HAIRY.

Some peach fuzz on the ass would've added more realism to this piece of vinyl and plastic. There would be some coarse action on your crotch as you pump away. You could be overcome with contempt for the amount of hair that needed to be shaved off the ass. Hell, there's also the sense of rage that would boil in your gut over the fact that you're fucking something that resembles Beast-Man.

But, what you get is nothing. If a sex toy could be anymore non-descript, I don't even know how to put it into words. Fuck this toy and then feel the emptiness in your soul float to the top of your head.


HOW TO CARE FOR YOUR MOGWAI

The Personal Fluffer Puckered Ass asks a lot of its user. It asks you to care about a fuck sheathe. It asks you to enjoy nothing. It also asks you to fuck a tiny asshole and not feel like a pedophile. If this is based on Mr. Marcus's personal fluffer, then I hope she got a note from her mother.

First, Skinemax.
Then, The Internet.
Eventually, I'll fuck the chick from Tron.


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