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XXXBox (Blu-ray)

Studio: Teravision » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 6/18/08

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

XXX-Box (Blu-Ray)


Genre: Vignette

Director: Spyder Jonez

Cast: Jenna Haze, Tommy Gunn, Alexa Lynn, Kayla Paige, Chris Charming, Nikki Rhodes, Jay Lassiter, Maya Gates, Spyder Jonez, Devon Lee, Marcus London

Length: 121:49 minutes

Date of Production: 6/5/2007

Extras: There was a photogallery and 15 trailers to other Teravision releases but the main extra was a 17:08 minute long Behind the Scenes feature. It started off with a discussion of how to get a gal off and proceeded with witticisms that someone thought must have been under the radar for the clueless. Still, it had some additional nudity and fans of the performers will enjoy it even though there were few revelations to speak of here.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: XXX-Box (Blu-Ray) was presented in a nice 1.78:1 widescreen color as shot by director Spyder Jonez for Teravision to be released in this AVC encoded high definition blu-ray release. It was definitely an upgrade from the SD version of the movie though it wasn't nearly as crisp as the recent Sasha Grey's Anatomy. The picture looked somewhat washed out with the lighting glaringly strong in some spots, cameraman Axel Braun's artistic bent reeled in by the director at least somewhat. The camera work was similar to Axel's last outing though and Spyder's touches were present but certainly not optimized for the high definition market. The composition of the shots was not always optimal so the ladies looked as good as could be expected and my overall assessment in the visual elements was that better planning is needed to make it work. The bitrate hovered around the mid 19 Mbps range as often as not but it was all over the map so I don't think that was the reason for the movie looking like it did (I tested several movies afterwards to make sure some setting on my equipment wasn't thrown off too). There was some aliasing but no occasional compression artifacts though some scenes clearly looked better than others. I haven't seen the SD version of the movie (Princess is supposed to review it) to compare it to but this was another case of early format adoption gone wrong. It's okay to take your time and get it right, trust me, as the market builds, there will be lots of room for high definition porn made with quality in mind. The audio was presented in a standard 2.0 Dolby Digital English using 224 Kbps with the dominant aural aspect being the vocals, not the light musical score and the sound effects. I prefer dirty talk and vocals so while there was some of it taking place, the ladies were not all equally gifted in the art of nasty talking. There did not appear to be any separation between the channels outside of the music tracks and the dynamic range was still limited on the aural components for those who care.

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Body of Review: Spyder Jonez is a modern day renaissance man to some. Known for his work as a musician, mainstream acting, and now writing and directing at Teravision, he brings something different to the world of porn. Depending on what you enjoy in a fuck flick, your mileage will vary, but I've seen enough of his past material to know he has untapped potential (and lots of it), even if every release isn't something I personally favor. His latest title making it my way is XXX-Box (Blu-Ray), a series of scenes that had nothing to do with the popular videogame system and everything to do with a quality cast of ladies showing what they are best at providing. The vignettes included work by popular Jenna Haze, curvy Devon Lee, and some gals you may not have heard of (but will want to know better all the same). The title is billed as the company's first POV (point of view) release, suggesting it will become a series if some shy online retailers show the balls to sell it in the first place. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Jenna Haze, the cute gal featured on the center of the front cover, was up first as a stripper in lingerie working her pole for the betterment of your stress relief practices. She's been at this for years and knows how to tease, shaking her booty and seductively looking at the camera. The elements of her dance were mixed too, not all sounds were incorporated into the final product but at least some were, evolving from Spyder's last effort I found in need of repair. Her scene partner was studly Tommy Gunn and as a patron tossing 20's her way, she kept him interested with a dreamy tone used for her voice. The blowjob was the best part of the scene with Jenna strutting her oral stuff like a champion, leading to a moderately active vaginal screw that unleashed his wad of population pudding all over her mouth and face. Jenna did appear to swallow at least some of it too, though the chemistry between the couple was sorely lacking much of the time. At least she was the one to jerk him off to the frothy finish.

Scene Two: Alexa Lynn and Kayla Paige, dressed up like white trash hookers, were up next as they hung out in an alleyway and smoked cancer sticks. They solicited the camera as they showed off what was for sale, their body parts looking fetching even if the scenario weakened their appeal to me somewhat. There was minimal lesbian play as a means of enticing Chris Charming to join them, the guy largely kept off screen by the POV fashion of the show except for his cock. The gals actively sucked him off and used hand to gland combat to increase the friction, leading to them taking turns riding his cock. I thought Alexa was the more active of the two but this is a judgment call that you can disagree with as you see fit, the ladies each having different skill levels to complete the thematic view of the action. The mechanical enthusiasm fit their stated roles just fine but I wanted more of them so unless you're a major fan of the ladies, consider that they've done better. Chris busted a modest nut but his own hand (with some oral assistance of course); Kayla nice enough to lick his hand clean.

Scene Three: Nikki Rhodes, playing a seductive schoolgirl in an outfit about as slutty as the last two wore, was up next in a schoolroom setting with aging Jay Lassiter. She made it clear that she was responsible for the loss of the last teacher, proceeding to show off her new bra & panties as a form of tease. Sexually, she was moderately active in terms of her hummer and vaginal ride but the minimal amount of positions did not help satiate my need to drop seed; Nikki seeming to go through the motions a little too much as she played the role to the hilt. If you like slower scenes, this might appeal to you more than it did me but the big problem of the scene lacking chemistry (a standard problem in POV fuck flicks) kept it from having much impact a second time. The way she looked at the lens instead of Jay's eyes impacted it too; Spyder's experience with POV not yet good enough to make them come across as one and the same. At least Nikki slurped up the semen from the table.

Scene Four: Maya Gates, the curvy brunette on the right side of the cover, was up next playing a combination of jail attendant and stripper with a skimpy outfit that came off quite readily in the jail cell. Like the other gals, she did all the talking as she undressed, a bit more forced than I prefer to see this kind of thing; Maya's over the top approach better suited for one of the many web companies shooting porn rather than a top flight company. This time, the sex was with Spyder Jonez and she treated the head honcho of the production company quite well as she sucked his nuts, blew him aggressively, and jerked him off in unison. They did fuck too but that was anticlimactic compared to the oral, the POV situation best sold via the knob slobbing. She took the facial well enough though and anyone that has seen her in the past knows what kind of performances she is capable of so it was an okay scene, just not her best work to date.

Scene Five: Devon Lee, a curvy MILF with a positive attitude, was up last and as the anchor for the rest of the cast, her scene was crucial in terms of giving the viewer something to remember. Her partner was Marcus London, a capable enough muscleman, and he kept to his silent role as assigned but her tease seemed to almost rely on his participation. She was a nurse but in an industrial setting more befitting a scientist, the ruse of an examination dropped almost immediately as she dropped her lab coat to reveal pink undies that she also shed. She let him feel her up and then blew him, showing a decent level of energy before banging the heck out of her pussy while using his penis as a meat puppet. Devon deviated from the strict formula to offer up some anal, slowing down as a result but still better than some of the others in the show. The scene ended when he rubbed out a load to her ass.

Summary: XXX-Box (Blu-Ray) by director Spyder Jonez for Teravision was worth a rating of Rent It for me due to the technical faults and lack of quality extras that minimized the levels of strokability and fuck for the buck. Sometimes a director or company lack the kind of vision needed to make an effort succeed and this appeared to be one of those times given the amount of potential the cast, director, and premise showed at the onset. POV titles are common these days and some work better than others so there is no shame in having tried but not made the grade, a follow up release almost certainly will be better but I'd rather the theme involving the video game concept be chased instead. In short, XXX-Box (Blu-Ray) was not the best high definition release coming out in recent weeks but it had some stroke value for fans of the cast such as myself; I look forward to seeing what the SD review comes up with given the relative weakness of the material at hand.  If you aren't sure yet, check out the TRAILER to see if that might help you make up your mind. 


You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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