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Theater Sluts - Now Showing Volume 1

Studio: Kick Ass Pictures » Review by Guy Incognito » Review Date: 9/2/08

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Kick Ass Pictures
Reality / All-Sex

Condoms: None that I saw

Length: 122 Minutes

Date Of Production: 05/01/08

Cast: Zoe, Krysta, Tori, Susie and Kaitlyn

Special Features:

Interactive Menus
Chapter Selection
Int. Tel. Sex
Web Site Information

Audio/Video Quality: The picture was presented in an anamorphic widescreen format with strong video quality. The transfer was really crisp and showed off a range that I haven't seen in awhile. The Dolby track was solid and it showed off a nice mix across the soundstage.

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Scene 1 - Zoe. Zoe is fucking hot. She's hot in that realistic MILF way. MILFs don't look like Puma Swede, they look like Jennifer Coolidge. Fuck, I'd loved it when she started taking the dick hard. I want to do it to do her like that. That's a sign of good porn. If you feel the desperate need for emulation in your balls, then they've done something right.


Scene 2 - Krysta.

Krysta seems attainable. It's not like I'm expecting to walk into my Adult Theater and find her nailing two fat guys while some piece of shit movie plays. It's just that I could see her on the street and maybe approach her. Then, I could ask if I could fist her. That's what a warm face does for you in the porn industry. It gets reviewer nerds asking if they can fist you. I'm still waiting for a reply.

Scene 3 - Tori.

Tori has a weird look. She's pretty enough, but she looks like she downed a stiff drunk before she went on-camera. I almost feel bad for her when she gets stuffed by thick cock. But, then I realize that I'm watching porn. It's kind of hard to feel bad for a girl when your dick is in your hand. Ponder that one.

Scene 4 - Susie.

Susie has that mature latina look I love. By that I mean, she's got big titties. I want to do things to her tits that would make nuns vomit. I think I saw her in one of Dirty D's gloryhole videos, but I'm not sure. Hopefully, he can get Susie to do a couple of creampies. She's got a body that's meant to be covered in man gravy.

Scene 5 - Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn's look didn't do much for me. The face didn't match the personality. Hell, the hair was way too short and it made it look like a Grace Jones bukkake. I can't bust a nut if I keep expecting Max Zoran to appear out of nowhere and tell the cum-soaked chick to kill James Bond.  

Final Thoughts:
Kick Ass and Dirty D deliver the dirty goods to the public again. God bless the ability to shoot in these reality-based situations. Nothing is hotter than chicks getting fucked in public places. I don't know what that says about me, but I don't care. Exhibitionism rules.

First, Skinemax.
Then, The Internet.
Eventually, I'll fuck the chick from Tron.

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