Well, now I can no longer say "At least I didn't see Joey Buttafuoco naked." I got in to a vicious car crash, but at least I didn't see Joey Buttafuoco naked. And yes, Red Light District seeks to change all of that by providing us with "Joey Buttafuoco Caught on Tape," a "movie" I can presume is merely just Buttafuoco looking to make some cash and agreed to be paired up with an actress to fuck on screen and provide us with the pretense that we're being let in on something that wasn't really supposed to be seen.
What other explanation can there be for the length? It's twenty five minutes long, folks. The first disc has zero extras.
There's no set up. No foreplay. No scenario. No build up. It's simply Joey Buttafuoco fucking a woman. And it's sickening. Don't ask me why I asked to review this, maybe I had some thought it would be funny, or tongue in cheek, or interesting. It isn't. I'm probably just a glutton for punishment.
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Like those video camera movies, the movie is set up to look like candid footage with the camera set below the eye line of the bed while the voices are slightly canned to seem like everything was completely impromptu. Wifey comes in to giggle and tease Buttafuoco who is lying on his bed for no reason other than to fuck and they begin to mess around and giggle.
After some light kisses she takes off Joey's shorts and completely goes to work on his cock, and then turns to suck him off as he gropes her. Joey doesn't even seem to want to play along and just seems completely amazed that this hot woman is blowing him, girating, gasping, and looking on in awe with every suck and rub. After taking off her panties finishing the long suck session, the awfully gorgeous woman mounts him and fucks him backward cowgirl slowly and then speeding up every other minute.
After some more giggling, she teases and he is just anxious to fuck her some more. Joey looks as if he's about to have a triple bypass the whole time. She pulls off a good performance of not just pretending to be turned on by him, but mainly just taking his cock which he can never seem to keep erect most of the time. She's a wonderful actress. More sucking later on, Joey fucks her missionary with the woman looking on in surprise giggling and egging him on.
Meanwhile they move back to anal for a short time and then revert back to missionary all with one last giant session of cock sucking ending in Joey cumming all over her face.
Audio/Visuals: The picture quality is absolutely awful with the enjoyment being reduced with the producers looking for the genuine candid camera atmosphere that fails. The movie presented in full screen is fuzzy and off focus, the colors are dim and murky, and tones are always uneven. There's even a thin red outline on Joey and his mate. The audio is adequate with all the groans and moans perfectly apt, but the talking nearly impossible to understand. It's a nightmare.
Goodies: On the actual disc there's nothing at all. Not even URL's to the website. This is where Disc Two comes in. Looking to give something to us for spending money on the DVD, we have disc two where we're given five bonus scenes with Bree Olson from Bore my Asshole, Paulina James from Wasted Youth 3, Alexis Texas from Smothers N' Covered 3, Sasha Grey and Vanessa Money from Cumfart Cocktails 5, and Johanna Rain from Young Tight Latinas 13. You have a good two and a half hour compilation of fairly mediocre segments that I just didn't find much to cheer about. There are also cum recaps from each segment, to boot.
After Thought: This movie is a waste of a half hour and will shit on the term "morbid curiosity" with Red Light attempting to tap in to the morons who feed on tabloid stupidity hoping to find something genuinely scandalous with Joey Buttafuoco. In all honesty, it's just really bad porno that's not even good enough to be called amateur. The extras are pretty crummy too because I simply don't like compilations. Skip it. Burn it.