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Kiss Attack

Studio: Adam & Eve » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 9/2/08

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Comic book styled mayhem

Kiss Attack

Adam & Eve/Independent Adult Cinema

Visuals like this populated the early parts of the movie.

Genre: Alt-Porn, Fetish

Director: Carlos Batts

Sasha Grey and Alex Gonz

Cast: Sasha Grey, Alex Gonz, April Flores, Claire Adams, Sarah Vandella, Christian, Claudia Rossi, Mikey Butders, Penny, Cholita
Non-sex roles: John Vargas, Jason North, Lady Lava, Dragao, Damon Pierce, Louis Fleischauser, Pistol Mike, Eric

Claire Adams and April Flores

Length: 86:21 minutes

Sarah Vandella looked good!

Date of Production: 5/20/2008 (cover); 6/23/2008 (opening credits), 2/23/2008, 2/24/2008, & 2/26/2008 (regular credits)

Claudia Rossi

Extras: The best scene for most fans will be the bonus extended version of the scene between Penny and April Flores where the photoshoot was combined with a variety of lighting styles to provide what amounted to an alternative and slightly longer version of their scene together that lasted 7:28 minutes (less use of gels and filters at first made it easier to follow too). The 16:18 minute long Behind the Scenes feature showed how much of the movie was actually a random experiment in improvisation by a cast unready to handle the task, some additional sex, and the multitude of preparations for the scenes as shot. There were trailers, a photogallery, spam, and web info too. Of particular note was an included comic book in the case that provided additional illustrations and plot points in broken English that reminded me a lot of the old magazine Heavy Metal in terms of how curious translations often made strips gibberish no matter how cool they appeared.

Penny and April Flores

Condoms: None

Chunky Cholita

-- sponsored by --

Audio/Video Quality: Kiss Attack was presented in a 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen offering as shot by director Carlos Batts for Adam & Eve in the standard definition 480i resolution and placed on DVD using the MPEG-2 codec. There were some segments in black & white (or variations like that) as well as color, the use of special visual effects often marring the production for me via overuse of gels, filters, and weird lighting effects. The editing was definitely choppy and seemingly random in nature, the nods to comic book art added in by scanning the still images, and numerous plot expositions tossed in without much help in regards to understanding what was going on (as one of the guys said in the BTS: "I haven't even read the script"). The video bitrate tended to be on the low side, often hovering in the 2.6 Mbps area when I spot checked it, resulting in moiré, video noise, and other issues relating to the levels of lighting and effects. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English with the standard 192 Kbps aural bitrate and a 48 kHz sampling rate but the vocals were often distant and too low, mixed in weakly compared to the heavier music by a wealth of interesting bands (the lengthy list of which followed at the end of the credits). If you like music over vocals more than I do, you may find this a better alt-porn than most of the stuff coming out of the Ian McKai camp, emphasis on "camp".

Body of Review: Carlos Batts is a newcomer to directing porn, his releases distributed by Adam & Eve as what appears to be their entry into the "alt-porn" genre. Carlos loved fluffy sized women so he generally features BBW gal April Flores, and whatever else can be said about his movies, generic or formulaic would not fit. His latest release making it my way is Kiss Attack, a comic book type of porno about a futuristic vampire war against a band of scientific experiments called Fleshers, the story about as easy to follow as anything else created under the influence of drugs can be to the sober people watching the end product. All kidding aside, this looked more like an avant-garde piece than anything I have seen in a long time, generally the type of porno I dedicate to my pal The Mooninite for his wildly twisted takes on the material. Most of the cast looked uncomfortable spouting off their lines and attempts were clearly made to edit out the comments they made while doing so, the mish mash of eccentric ideas probably considered artistic by those that forget a porno should always be strokable first and mental floss second. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Sasha Grey, the skinny brunette featured on the front cover in the middle, was up first as "eve L", a vampire minion of the dark Ms. Sangre. Alex Gonz played a Flesher out to stop her but he stopped to get some head from the award winning oralist first, the generic hummer far from her best work as the quirky music played on. He gave her some head too and after massaging her clitoris, he started banging her vaginally, the gal actively riding his rod with some intermittent oral by both of them. The choking was minimal and there was no chemistry between them, her dirty talk whispered more than spoken before the ending crotch pop unloaded his genetic juice on her pubic hair.

Scene Two: April Flores, the heavy chick seen on the far right of the front cover, was up next in a lesbian scene with Claire Adams, the gal standing beside her in the background. Plot points aside, Claire liked working the fleshy mounds offered by her friend, the use of glass dildos didn't hurt but the technical matters sure did hurt as they continued to go down and diddle each other mildly on the couch. This scene continued with the pair tied up as a plot point of sorts but the reasoning was lost on me as the characters continued to act like they were buzzed off their rockers.

Scene Three: Sarah Vandella, a curvy little blond with a sweet smile and cute face, was up next as she made a bitch of Christian, her oral skills exceeding his in most ways according to how believable they appeared to be. He fucked her passive pussy and she gave some oral inclination of pleasure but the droning score covered it up to the point where it sounded over dubbed most of the time. It also did not help that the scene was shot in what appeared to be a slight variation of B&W with a purple tint, no chemistry or energy lowering my score of it even more before his tiny wad of population pudding graced her lower abdomen.

Scene Four: Claudia Rossi, the brunette seen on the far left side of the cover, was up next with a "Flesher" that I believe was Mikey Butders, the rapid editing, limited vocals, and color dehancements weakening it like the previous scene. I think B&W can make for a very effective artistic statement but not with heavy editing, poor compositional work, and a choppy approach as this one had. The music was okay and she did oral, vaginal, and even anal in a mechanical fashion but I've seen more enthusiasm from low rate street walkers that have already paid their bills for the month so Claudia going through the paces as directed just didn't work for me by this point in the scene. The pop shot was on her sweet little ass and fans will likely find this one tedious as can be, though tastes vary enough to acknowledge that a few of you may disagree.

Scene Five: April Flores, again up as the lead of the show, was paired off with a synthetic warrior played by Penny, a gal with substantial curves and tattoos that liked wearing fetish attire nearly as much (she is the redhead in the upper left hand side with the arm tattoo and red outfit). They both had on latex and felt each other up, lesbian fans might find that they had what amounted to chemistry marred mostly by how the scene was shot. An alternate version of the scene was found in the extras section (credited as a "bonus scene" instead of truthfully advertised this way) and those of you into fluffy gals going at each other with sweat, oil, and toys may find this one okay for a round of hand to gland combat.

Scene Six: Cholita, a thick blond gal that I initially thought was a tranny, gave an old style burlesque show in an alley at night, not truly amounting to a sex scene. It was funny enough to credit separately here, especially given the goofy rap song playing as it took place, the entire matter over in a few minutes.

Summary: Kiss Attack by director Carlos Batts for Adam & Eve was further out there than just about anything I've seen to date and Tim Kring will not lose any sleep over the possibility that his television show Heroes, also based on comic books, will face any competition at conventions (the cast here was spotted at a comic convention last month in the last week of July). That said, the sex was all over the place with some blowjobs, a bit of anal, and a majority of it vaginal plowing all wrapped up in pretentious dialogue that did not make a lot of sense so I rated this one as a Skip It. If you like fat chicks having sex and weird visuals showing a cast tossed in over their head, by all means give this one a closer look at your favorite rental outlet (be it Wanted List, Empire, or a local joint that ordered a copy by mistake) but the strokability of the sex was nonexistent and the story, or what passed for one, was hardly worth the effort. In short, Kiss Attack is about as much a vampire movie as I'm a Cyclops reviewer, the ideas never fully explored in earnest so much as tossed about like a post modernist artist jumbling things up in the hopes of something working out.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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