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Porn Reviews » Gay Reviews » Theater Film Classics: Teacher's Pests

Theater Film Classics: Teacher's Pests

Studio: Athletic Model Guild » Review by Poindexter X » Review Date: 10/14/08

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Production Dates: 1966-1972

Directed By: Bob Mizer

The Movie:

A collection of six soft-core shorts filmed from 1966 to 1972 that were originally shown at Los Angeles' Park Theater in 1969 to early 1972.


Jay Howard, Tony Ray, Billy Farrell, Jay-Jay Kent, Steve St. John, Eddie Dancer, Jeffrey Eden, Al Fletcher, Tony Rome, Chip Crawford, and Ron Nichols.

Run Time: 1 Hour and 10 Minutes

Teacher's Pests (May 1969):

This school-themed short movie opens with hilarious warbling music and a chalkboard title that also includes drawings of a skull 'n crossbones, some sort of dinosaur, and a gentle kitten!  Roman History instructor Billy Farrell (nice-looking with curly black pompadour, toned/smooth body) has no patience for class-clown students Jay Howard (cute with dark hair, toned/smooth body) and Tony Ray (cute with dark brown pompadour, toned/smooth body). The guys are late to class and quickly complain about the heat before stripping down showing off their full dark pubes and cut cocks. Billy, who for some reason is wearing a black graduation cap/tassel, barks in badly dubbed dialogue, "I want you to turn to page twenty-five in those engloo...English books!" Hmmm. I thought the class was Roman History? Ha!

As the cool 'n tin can-sounding travelogue type music blares, Jay and Tony sneak 'n read comic books and shoot rubber bands at Billy's bum. Having enough, he make the dudes bend over where we get a nice shot of those swinging balls before Billy smacks each student's bum with his ruler. When Teach makes the guys stop fighting and make up, he gets more than he bargained for. The guys end up kissing, rubbing each other, and stripping Billy so that we can see his lush full black pubes and clipped dick.  The guys make Billy flex 'n pose for them leading all three to do a wild 'n groovy dance to some rock n roll tunes while cocks and nuts flop and bounce around.

Jay-Jay Kent Posing (1972):

Jay-Jay is a good-looking guy with a dark brown pompadour, cool sideburns, and tall/slender/toned body. He's all decked out in a denim vest and hot pants combo which also includes a black leather cap and cowboy boots! Looking in the mirror, Jay-Jay has no problem gazing at his fine self and stating, "I'm gorgeous". Well, he's definitely a hot dude but his clothes are laughable. Soon Jay-Jay strips down revealing his full brown bush, plump balls, and large uncut cock. Suddenly the posh classical music on the soundtrack changes to some good ol' rock n roll and Jay-Jay goes to town performing all sorts of wild late 1960s/early 1970s dances in slow-motion as we are treated to his big ol' cock 'n balls flopping 'n swinging . Tuckered out from his go-go dancing, he relaxes face down in his bed and we can see his hairy gooch, balls, and a semi-hard tool.

After the Party's Over (1970):

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Eddie Dancer (good-looking with a dark brown pompadour, cool sideburns, and toned/smooth body) has just finished hosting an all-male shindig complete with card tables filled with God knows what kind of appetizers and bottles of cheap rot-gut wine. Eddie's upset because his boyfriend Steve St. John (nice-looking with short dark hair, cool sideburns, and toned/hairy body) is once again passed out on too much booze 'n dope. Frankly, the movie is nothing more than Eddie telling his lover that the relationship is over while Steve begs him to take him back. This quickly becomes monotonous but luckily, the dudes undress while they recite cheesy dialogue with wooden performances.

Eddie strips down showing off his full dark pubes, hangy nuts, and large 'n fat cut cock while Steve reveals his dark pubes and uncut dick. The dudes rub each other's bodies, roll around, kiss with tongue, and get semi erections....all the while going on and on with the inane begging 'n pleading. "I won't go to Hollywood no more!" "I understand Eddie but you just don't understand yourself!" Huh? Ha! At one point, Steve cranks up a groovy rock 'n roll instrumental of Wooly Bully and the two get down with some neat-o naked dancing with plenty of flopping cocks.  At the very end, there's some quick simulated butt sex showing off Eddie's almost fully hard cock. The dudes hold up their name cards and Eddie confesses that he and Steve are boyfriends in real life.

Love 2001 (1971):

It seems that gay relationships dominate over straight ones in Bob Mizer's view of 2001. As the movie opens, Jeffrey Eden is hooked up to some type of crazy contraption called "Total Experience Synthesizer" while grasping what looks like paper towel rollers in each hand and undulating naked in a highly erotic state of mind. Jeffrey is a good-looking guy with a dark pompadour, and toned/hairy body with full dark pubes and clipped dick. I suppose this is supposed to be the future of sex where individuals don't have actual physical contact to reach total fulfillment. This reminds me of a cheap 'n hokey take on the groovy sex pill in Barbarella. Jeffrey turns out to be a bitch to his boyfriend Russ Carlson (good-looking with blond hair, toned/hairy body with tattoos).

It's no wonder that Russ wants to run off and try having sex with a chick at some bar behind a train station or something like that. The audio isn't too good here. Jeffrey amps up queen bitch mode and whines with distaste, "They should rid of all those places for degenerates! You want to be a breeder?" Ha! Upon Russ' return, he strips down showing off his full brown pubes 'n cut cock and the dudes get down to body rubbing, kissing, and rolling around making Jeffrey's cock semi hard.  I did find the basic message of the movie to be interesting: homosexuals are seen as the average everyday folks while heterosexuals are looked upon with distaste.

Richard Thayer Posing (1966):

This black & white film features the very good-looking Richard Thayer (brown hair, toned/smooth body) laying on sparkling material completely naked showing off his full pubes, hangy nuts, and cut cock. He poses and flexes for the viewer with a big sexy smile on his face followed by some shadow boxing, baseball, and basket ball. At one point, Richard jumps 'n runs in place making his dick 'n balls bounce up 'n down.

Strangers in the Park (1971):

A very handsome Sailor with cool dark pompadour wearing a uniform that's too big for him (Tony Rome) walks though a fake but colorful park set enjoying nature. Another good-looking military dude with short dark hair (Ron Nichols) joins him. "Hey buddy, you got the time?" Rob clearly has more than relaxing in the park on his horny mind and soon undresses. "I guess I'll just take off my clothes if you don't mind." Ha! Ron strips down showing off his toned/smooth body, brown pubes, and uncut cock. Tony follows suit stripping down revealing a toned/hairy 'n heavily tattooed body, full dark pubes, plump nuts, and cut tool. 

The new pals become quite playful splashing water from a nearby pond on each other and feeling bodies. Next, the guys admire one another's tattoos with Ron making a big deal out of Tony's tat that simply reads "Linda". In return, Tony seems to dig Ron's prison tattoo of his girlfriend's face located on his chest.  The guys roll around feeling each other up and there's plenty of closed mouth kissing. At one point, Tony's legs a spread nice 'n wide and we can see his hairy gooch and balls. The tune Strangers in the Night plays at one point.

Intermission Shorts:

Cute Al Fletcher has short brown hair and a toned/smooth body. He's standing on a phony-looking outdoor set that's filled with dozens of colorful Easter eggs while flexing, posing, and showing off his full brown pubes and cut dick. This twenty-three year old hails from Pennsylvania and has recently seen Hollywood and Burbank for the first time in his life.

Nineteen year old Chip Crawford is a cute guy with long brown hair, red bandanna, and toned/smooth body. He stands totally naked revealing his full pubes, plump hangy balls, cut dick, and lets the viewer know, "I like to race cars and motorcycles and do a little acting from time to time".  Director Bob Mizer is off screen being obnoxious and yelling directions to his sexy dude.


The short films presented here are 16 mm and contain plenty of scratches and natural wear. For cheap movies that are almost thirty years old, they look pretty good.


The sound is like listening to something through a tin can but this kind of adds to the entire retro charm of this collection. Some of the movies were obviously shot silent with the bad dialogue and wooden acting dubbed in later while other scenes were shot with sound. There is a groovy variety of tunes from songs that sound like they belong on a school film strip to cool surf rock n roll, and instrumental covers of the songs Wooly Bully and Strangers in the night. Neat-O!


The disc includes an interactive menu, scene selection, chapter stops, the two intermission shorts, the very cool eleven minute featurette Cutting Room Floor which consists of clips from 1950 to the early 1970s with plenty of hard cocks, blow jobs, jacking, and one cum shot. This is great time capsule. Also included is an excellent slideshow of color photographs from each movie, and trailers for: Hardcore Film Classics, Retro Sex Archives: A&E Anal Erotic 19 & 20, Amazonia: Capture, Amazonia: Release, AMG Resurrection: A New Beginning, Gemeos, and Suruba: Tropicus. Overall, a very nice selection of bonus materials.


I find retro porn from the late 1960s to early 1970s quite interesting. I dig looking at the clothing, hair styles, home furnishings, and hilarious wooden acting 'n bad dialogue. I had a great time with the collection of six movies that make up Teacher's Pests. There are some very sexy dudes here with cool pompadours, sideburns, full pubes, and tattoos. These rough around the edges guys are the real deal: street hustlers and ex cons. The extras are the real prize here with some hardcore footage that proves there were plenty of randy moments at Bob Mizer's home/studio. I Recommend for fans of groovy retro soft-core porn.

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