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Theater Film Classics: Bike Shop Trade

Studio: Athletic Model Guild » Review by Poindexter X » Review Date: 10/25/08

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Years of Production: 1969-1971

Directed By: Bob Mizer

The Movie:

A collection of six soft-core movies from 1969 to 1971 that were originally shown at Los Angeles' Park Theater.

Run Time: 58 Minutes and 31 Seconds

Bike Shop Trade (1969):

Good ol' boy Richard Monroe (good-looking with black pompadour, slender/toned/smooth body) gets a rough 'n tumble customer in Billy Hamilton (good-looking with brown pompadour, cool sideburns, toned/hairy body) who brings his old broke down motorcycle into Rick's Cycle Shop. The bike is so old that Richard (who is dresses in a blue worksuit unzipped down to the top of his pull black pubes) cannot do a damn thing for it. Since he worked on the hog for four hours, he charges Billy the now groovy price of $20.00 which Billy refuses to pay.

Pissed off that he isn't gonna get paid, Richard orders Billy to strip and show off his sexy body, full brown bush, and cut cock. Turned-on by the site of a naked dude, Richard yanks off that worksuit revealing his lush black pubes, hangy nuts, and long clipped dick. The dudes fool around with plenty of dry kissing 'n body rubbin' while the badly dubbed corn-pone accents laugh, ooh and ahhh.  The music accompanying the soft-core action is a toe-tappin' South of the Border Mexican ditty.

Jealous Cowboy (1970):

Pat Corrigan (nice-looking with black pompadour, slender/hairy body) sits reading a magazine when angry cowboy Kerry Fairchild (good-looking with short brown military buzz cut, toned/smooth body) barges in with rope, gun, and a bad attitude. "You been messin' around with my lady! Now I'm gonna teach you a lesson! Take off your clothes!" Pat follows orders showing off his full black pubes and clipped dick leading Kerry to tie him up.

In a slick move, Pat gain control of the gun and turns the table on Kerry yelling at him, "Strip, fella! Make it fast before I blow your brains out!" Hunky Kerry yanks his cowboy duds off revealing his hot body, full brown bush, and cut prick. The dudes dry kiss and roll around on the sofa before agreeing that the gal is not worth it and they dig each other's company more.

Desert Thieves (1969):

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This short does not have any credits. For some unknown reason, a good-looking dude with short brown hair and toned/smooth body decides that the desert is the perfect place to sunbathe. Laying on a red blanked showing off his full bush and cut cock, dudes catches some rays while still wearing his cowboy boots! Two thieves (both good-looking with short dark hair, toned/smooth bodies, full pubes, and cut cocks), who just happen to be out in the desert, sneak up on our happy sun worshiper and try to rob him. Too bad his wallet is empty. The warbling music provided here is a hilarious western instrumental. Hot dude ends up lecturing the guys on "brotherly love" leading the two to yank off their clothes and take a nap with him! Ha!

Professor's Sailor (1971):

Good-looking professor Paul Fox (longish black hair, beard, toned/hairy body) is enjoying the outdoors reading a Japanese magazine when hunky sailor Ramon Gabron (good-looking with short brown hair, toned/smooth body) walks up and cruises him. "Are you a sailor?" Ha! No. He's just wearing the uniform, professor. Paul invites Ramon back to his oddly decorated apartment (long black drapes, statues, red leather sofa) that looks more like a stage than an actual place to live.

As melodramatic music warbles on the tinny soundtrack, Ramone yanks off his uniform revealing dark pubes and a cut dick. Paul follows frisky sailor's lead stripping down and showing off his dark pubes, plump balls, and clipped tool. This is when Paul goes on an almost never-ending speech about being hurt by his last boyfriend and can't do anything sexual. Naturally, Ramone gets the reluctant egg head to dry kiss and roll around.

Nevada Smith Posing (1969):

Nevada is a good-looking dude with a dark buzz cut and toned/smooth body). "Howdy! What's up?" Nevada strikes a number of groovy poses while a hilarious instrumental of "Home on the Range" (!) plays in the background. Dude has full dark pubes and a large clipped member. He's in a room that once again looks more like a stage than an actual dwelling. Wearing nothing but a holster, Nevada races though a number of cool pistol tricks for an audience which I'm sure are more interested in his package.

The Marine and the Mexican (1971):

Good-looking Marine Recruiter Bill Scott (dark hair, toned/hairy body) sits behind a cheap desk talking on the telephone. "I'm sorry General! We can't seem to get anything but hippies in!" Ha! Jessie Mariga (good-looking with dark longish hair, toned/smooth body) ambles in wearing stereotypical clothing of large sombrero and colorful blanket over his shoulder (along with a guitar!). "I came in to join the Maine Corps!" Naturally, straight-laced Bill doesn't want to have anything to do with this guy who is dressed like a "hippie" and hangs out on "Sunset Boulevard". "Why don't you join the Navy?"

Well, Jessie calls Bill on his bullshit and the dudes are soon stripping off their clothes! Jessie has cool tattoos, dark pubes, and a plump cut cock. Bill reveals tattoos of his own, dark bush, and clipped prick. At this point, the dudes go on and on about "The Buddy System" and then I'm guessing Jessie is supposed to be fucking Bill...although it doesn't even look like it. Bill goes on a hilarious rant! "I won't cry! I'm a Marine! I won't cry! I'm a Marine! I'm a big big ass Marine! I won't cry but I'm crying anyway! I can't cry! I'm a Maine!" Hmmm. Someone needs a stiff...er, drink! Ha!


For 16 MM prints, the shorts look pretty darn good with rich colors and just a little grain. The camera work is very basic and could definitely use more close-ups of the guy's cocks.


The age of these shorts really rears its head with the sound. The music sounds like it's being played through a tin can and all of the dialogue is dubbed in except for "The Marine and the Mexican". This simply adds to the overall nostalgic charm of these groovy shorts.


The disc includes an interactive menu, scene selection, chapter stops, four intermission shorts filled with sexy naked dudes, another short titled "Marionette Man" featuring a good looking with an uncut cock doing spastic puppet moves, an excellent slide show of color photographs from each short, and trailers for Hardcore Film Classics, Retro Sex Archives: A&E Anal Erotic 19 & 20, Amazonia: Capture, Amazonia: Release, AMG Resurrection: A New Beginning, Gemeos, and Suruba: Tropicus. Overall, a very nice selection of bonus materials.


I find retro porn from the late 1960s to early 1970s quite interesting. I dig looking at the clothing, hair styles, home furnishings, and hilarious wooden acting 'n bad dialogue. I had a fun time with the collection of six movies that make up Bike Shop Trade. There are some very sexy dudes here with cool pompadours, sideburns, full pubes, and tattoos. These rough around the edges guys are the real deal: street hustlers and ex cons. The extras are the real prize here with the excellent photo galleries. I Recommend for fans of groovy retro soft-core porn.

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