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Surfers Takin' It

Studio: French Connection » Review by Guybrush » Review Date: 12/2/08

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Date of Production: 2007 and 2008

Length: 95 minutes

Director: Clark Kent

Cast: Blake Logan, Kris Steel, Brandon Fox, Enrique Currero, Rex Roddick, Tommy Mann, Randy Phister, Tommy Neal, and Jimmy Hall

Body Types: surfer builds, 

Condoms: yes

Things to see: solos, shower sex, threesomes

Plot: no plot

The Movie:

Surfers, as do swimmers, represent the pinnacle of perfect male physique, with their beautiful chests and muscled legs.  Surfers Takin' It, attempts to show off a couple of these attractive specimens without forcing you to make a trip to the ocean.  While the guys are generally cute and attractive, the scenes themselves are rather lackluster.  Most of the actors look bored, and one of the actors even appears to be stoned.  Composed of mostly mute actors, and unexciting sex acts, the film simply lacks real chemistry between the models. 

The film's worst offense, however, involves cover trickery.  Way back in the day of VHS titles, I recall purchasing an older film (gasp!.. on VHS) that had a smoking hot cover model on it.  After watching the film and scratching my head as to what scene the model was in, I looked on the cover again, only to find a very small asterik mark with a note reading; may not contain cover model.  Surfers Takin' It uses a somewhat similar approach.  Rest assured that the two (hot) cover boys are in fact in the movie.  In fact, the guys are actually in the same scene together.  However, they are paired in a boring threesome with a girl, where the guys don't do a single thing with each other.  As far as I'm concerned, this scene belongs in a straight title, not a gay film.  In fact, I have seen straight titles with hotter mmf threesomes than the threesome presented here!

The film is composed of three sex scenes and three solos.  Let's see of these surfer dudes fared:

Scene one: Randy Pfister

Randy is a blond dude with a smooth chest and a few intricate tattoos.  Wearing only his swimmers trunks, Randy rubs his cock while watching porn.  He plays with his cock until he undoes the Velcro opening and pulls out his erect dick.  Randy eventually lowers his pants and goes to town with his thick cock, thanks to the use of lube.  He continues to stroke his cock until his red mushroom head busts all over his chest. 

Scene two: Blake Logan and Rex Roddick

Blake (a tasty looking brunette with a smooth body) removes his clothing and jumps into the shower.  While he soaps up his body, his "roommate" Rex enters the bathroom and tells Blake that he needs to jump in the shower or else he will be late for work.  Since this is porn and not real life, Blake eagerly tells Rex to join him in the shower.  Blake immediately starts to soap up Rex's back, resulting in both boys sporting erections.  The guys then start to kiss before each of them receive wet blowjobs. 

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The guys then head to the bedroom to make out on the bed.  With Blake on top, the guys passionately kiss and caress each other.  Without too much unnecessary foreplay, Rex begins to fuck Blake in a straddle position.  Blake clearly enjoys the fucking since he moans and continues to maintain his erection.  The guys then change positions so that Blake is fucked on his back.  Blake ultimately strokes his cock while his hole is poked, resulting in a messy cum explosion onto his chest.  Finally, Rex jerks his dick off while he peers over at Blake. 

Though this scene takes a while to build up, both actors showed lots of passion for each other while they screwed. 

Scene three: Jimmy Hall

Jimmy is a dark brunette with tan skin, and the proud owner of a dark piece of man meat.  He plays with his cock in his shorts before pulling it out for the camera.  Once his pants come off, he quietly strokes away while watching porn.  Without much indication that he is about to climax, his penis starts to spurt out cum, reaching high enough to land some jizz onto his own chin.  He heads to the shower afterward to clean up. 

Scene four: Enrique Currero and Tommy Mann

Enrique, a younger guy with a skinny body frame and a goatee/mustache combo, masturbates on the bed.  His pal Tommy (mostly smooth body and a shaved head) decides to join him on the bed.  After the guys chat about their girlfriends, they take off their clothes so that they can relax.  While the guys stroke their cocks to porn, Tommy decides to take the plunge by sucking on Enrique's dick.  After the tongue batting, Tommy invites Enrique over to suck on his cock as well.  Enrique then gets on all fours so that Tommy can fuck him from behind.  At first Enrique is pretty quiet, but then he starts to moan once Tommy plunges his cock deep into his anal cavity.  The guys then change positions, with Enrique lying on his back.  Finally, both guys stroke their cocks (with a curiously large distance between them) until each busts their nut.  Enrique doesn't release much cum, so much so that the camera man zooms in just to make sure that he released anything.

This was almost an OK scene.  Both actors share zero chemistry with each other.  The acting is also quite bad, and Enrique looks stoned. 

Scene five: Tommy Neal

Tommy is a fresh-faced blond/brunette with a chest tattoo, and a pussy eaters goatee.  He pulls his uncut cock out from his pants and gently strokes it.  When he finally pulls off his pants completely, we get to see his mighty pretty cock while he strokes it.  Tommy displays minimal reaction to his stroking, resulting in a surprise cumshot at the end.  The cumshot is actually the best part of this movie since he spurts out a huge, sticky load all over the place. 

Scene six: Brandon Fox, Kris Steel and Jessica Shaw

Kris and Brandon find themselves alone in a room with Jessica Shaw (a real life gal).  Kris is a brunette with an impressive chest and a curiously dark shaft for a white guy.  Brandon is a sexy blond guy with spiky hair.  Jessica is a brunette with some tattoos and pretty big breasts.  Jessica invites the boys to sit next to her; Kris in front of her and Brandon behind her.  The guys immediately start to kiss and rub her all over, though they keep their paws off each other.  She teases Kris until she removes his shorts, revealing his woody.  Brandon kisses Jessica on her ass while she starts to blow Kris.  Jessica eventually changes positions so that she can suck on Brandon's thick cock. 

The scene then shifts to Brandon fucking Jessica from behind.  Kris watches, barely able to keep his dick hard.  The guys then switch, resulting in a tag-team fuck for Jessica.  Kris ultimately shoots his load, and Brandon releases his cum all over Jessica's backside. 

This was a disappointing threesome.  The guys look uncomfortable and don't even touch each other once.  I have seen straight mmf threesomes with more guy on guy touching that this supposed gay scene.  What a waste!

The DVD:


Presented in fullscreen, the image ranges from average to good.  One of the scenes was over-saturated with light, and another scene was a little too dark for my tastes (it took place in a darkly lit bathroom).  Overall this is a decent transfer. 


Sound is adequate, though I wasn't all too impressed.  For a title where most of the actors are quiet, it can be difficult to discern the quality of the sound.  However, cranking the volume up reveals little improvement in the auditory quality.


Extras include animated menus, scene selection, some trailers and a photo gallery.  As a word advice, keep your stereo turned down before the screeching loud music starts to play during the menu.   

Final thoughts:

Though these 'surfers' might take it, you certainly don't have to take this mediocre porn.  While most of the guys are cute, the action is just OK, with most of the actors looking bored and unenthusiastic.  The film's worst offense is a mmf threesome where the guys don't even do anything with each other.  Moments like this make me scratch my head and re-check that I'm actually watching a gay title.  If you are horned up for some surfers then this title might serve well as a rental only.  Better yet, just head to the beach and pick up some sexy surfer; you're guaranteed to have a better time.

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