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Tera Patrick's Porn Star Pool Party


Studio: Teravision » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/30/08



XCritic's Advice: Skip It


Mya Luanna and Charmane Star (click for trailer)

Tera Patrick's Porn Star Pool Party

Teravision

Daisy Marie and Daisy Duxe

Genre: Lesbian

Director: Brian McCarthy

Madison Scott and Mya Luanna

Cast: Mya Luanna, Charmane Star, Daisy Marie, Daisy Duxe, Madison Scott, Angie Savage, Kayla Paige, Brooke, Lexi Belle, Juliana Jolene, Trisha Oaks, Holly West, Holly Wellin, Maya Gates, Lorena Sanchez
Non-sex roles: Tera Patrick, Ron Jeremy, The Oil Babys

Length: 48:32 minutes

Daisy Marie, Kayla Paige, and Angie Savage

Date of Production: 10/9/2007

Extras: There was a photogallery and some trailers but that was all.

The Orgy

Condoms: None

-- sponsored by --

Audio/Video Quality: Tera Patrick's Porn Star Pool Party was presented in a non-anamorphic letterboxed widescreen as shot by director Brian McCarthy for Teravision, encoded in the MPEG-2 codec with 480i resolution for this standard definition release. I would have preferred the material be presented in the original full frame and not have the top and bottom cut off given the camera angles but the lighting was fairly decent in all spots except the pool's cave where some of the scenes were shot. There were a few compression artifacts and some grain, the video noise light with the video bitrate hovering around the 5.4 Mbps mark when I spot checked it several times throughout the flick. The women were not always made to look their very best but this was not another attempt at artistic porn, the lipstick lesbians caught in action for relatively brief periods of time. The audio was offered up in 2.0 Dolby Digital English using a 192 Kbps bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate, the aural qualities mediocre to say the least given the placement of the microphones and limited musical interludes. I could hear what the cast was saying in most scenes (not the orgy) but that was all she wrote as the segments were presented by Tera Patrick who did not join in at all.

Tera Patrick and the Oil Babies

Body of Review: Brian McCarthy is the latest director for Teravision that I have not heard of, perhaps a production hand given a chance to make his mark or just a friend of the family. His first title for the company is Tera Patrick's Porn Star Pool Party, a lesbian romp complete with a couple of dwarfs and Ron Jeremy in a bit role. The first thing I noticed about the movie was that Tera Patrick herself did not engage in any sexual activity, a huge mistake as far as this fan is concerned, the second notable issue is that the running time was well under an hour without any significant extras to make up for it. The idea of the movie was that the two dwarfs, referred to as the Oil Babies since they dressed in baby attire while pawing the chicks, took advantage of Tera leaving her home in their care, a big pool party thrown as a result. The movie itself did little to play up the party aspect and it was mainly just some unrelated scenes tossed together with the pool area used for the scenes, some minor comedy resulting from the little people trying to get laid as well as Ron Jeremy as a police officer who decided it was better to join in than break up all the fun. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Mya Luanna and Charmane Star, a couple of gals with lean bodies and slightly exotic looks, were up first as they caressed each other by the barbeque area of the pool. They pulled their bikinis aside to reveal nipple erections, moans heard in the background as they played well together. It wasn't a bad scene but it was very short, some oral and toy play ending about at the point where most scenes have just finished their tease sequences. There was little heat or chemistry to speak of either, the mechanical sex not lasting long enough to make it strokable.

Scene Two: Daisy Marie and Daisy Duxe were up next and they followed the formula but dispensed with the showcase posing to start going down on each other in turns. Daisy Marie ate first and the penetrative toy action was strictly vaginal although they appeared to be more into the action from what I could tell, the rimming cut short sadly enough but each finding some minimal loving together (the scene lasted under 8 minutes total).

Scene Three: Madison Scott and Mya Luanna were presented by Tera as "the battle of the spitters" as the pair were caught in the darkened grotto or cave kissing each other in the buff. Their hair slick with water, the ladies kissed at length and Madison went down on Mya, the scene cutting short before they could swap out (Madison looked out of it even before the ending kissing). The scene lasted about five minutes and did nothing for me.

Scene Four: Angie Savage, Kayla Paige, and Daisy Marie, were up next on a couch area as they playfully laughed. Angie dared Daisy to kiss her and the trio started feeling each other up, some titty play as the bikini bottoms were slow to come off. Moans were heard in the background, presumably from other scenes being shot concurrently, but the ladies here just kept working each other with tongues and toys. This was the best scene of the movie and showed some potential as a lipstick lesbian scene, even using some choking as Angie begged Kayla to do on her while Daisy drilled her pussy with a vibrator. They did taste testing and continued on each other, the gals at least performing like they were getting off a few times.

Scene Five: Brooke, Lexi Belle, Juliana Jolene, Trisha Oaks, Holly West, Holly Wellin, Maya Gates, Lorena Sanchez, the some others were up last in the very short lesbian orgy where they were all included in the cave portion of the pool. The camera angles were truncated and it appeared to be shot with a single camera, some of the cast looking up at the camera and others limited to feeling up their paired off partners, some large toys stuffed inside pussies but shot as though an amateur stumbling across the scene could not help himself by trying to get too much footage all at once. There was some licking and fingering too but it was broken up by Ron Jeremy long before any serious heat resulted.

Summary: Tera Patrick's Porn Star Pool Party by director Brian McCarthy for Teravision was a disappointment for me on several levels. Not one of the scenes lasted long enough for a modern porno and the running time was less than 50 minutes without any sexual footage of Tera Patrick getting busy. Considering Tera was featured on the front cover and listed as starring in the movie, she should have had a solo scene at a minimum, a couple of lesbian trysts even more expected. I got the impression that there was a lot more that went on but had technical issues preventing release of some scenes, the modest technical values of the included scenes on the weak side too so I felt obligated to rate this one as a Skip It. In short, Tera Patrick's Porn Star Pool Party was practically a minimal social gathering with little to recommend, your mileage may vary if you enjoy short scenes without any chemistry between the ladies.


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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon



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