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Elastic Assholes #7

Studio: Jules Jordan Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/31/08

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Tim Von Swine, studly guy (click pictures for the trailer)

Elastic Assholes 7: Special Edition

Jules Jordan Video/Mike John Productions

Jada Fire!

Genre: Gonzo, Anal

Bobbi Starr!

Director: Mike John

Marie Luv!

Cast: Jada Fire, Steve French, Steve Holmes, Bobbi Starr, Sean Michaels, Marie Luv, James Dean, Hannah West, Tatiana Kush, Mr. Marcus, Rebeca Linares, Mr. Pete, Emma Heart

Hannah West!

Length: 261:21 minutes

Date of Production: 11/13/2008

Tatiana Kush!

Extras: The best extras were on the second disc of the set, specifically the 30:41 minute long Behind the Scenes feature. The cast was shown having more sex and there was more nudity with Mike showing lots more action in what were deleted portions of the scenes, crazy Tim Von Swine adding some humor too. Granted, it was less strokable than straightforward sex but it did add entertainment value all the same. Then there was a pop shot recap, a nice slipcover, a cast list (the entire cast this time thankfully enough!), a photogallery, and trailers to 19:29 minutes worth of Mike's other titles, including stuff like No Cum Dodging Allowed #10, Jerk Off Material, Boobaholics Anonymous 4, POV Pervert 10, Praise the Load, Peep Show, and Semen Sippers 7.

Rebeca Linares!

Condoms: None

-- sponsored by --

Audio/Video Quality: Elastic Assholes 7 was presented in an appealingly clear 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen color as shot by director Mike John for Jules Jordan Video as presented in the MPEG-2 format so common to standard definition titles (with 480i resolution). The lighting was good, limiting the grain and other visual flaws in the open settings of the house but some of the scenes were not optimal, the rare but slightly washed out look at times bugging me (I wish more of the work was done by the pool outside). The composition of the shots was largely enhancing and whether this had anything to do with Tim Von Swine assisting as the still photographer or not, his expertise is always welcome in a hardcore porno as far as I'm concerned. There were no major compression artifacts (the bitrate hovering in the 4.8 Mbps range most of the time I paid any attention) and the fleshtones were more accurate than several of Mike's recent efforts, helping make it stand out in certain ways for me. The 2.0 Dolby Digital English audio (in 192 Kbps with a 48 kHz sampling rate) was a bit more basic with no separation or major dynamic range but I could always hear what was said and the music didn't interfere with my viewing pleasure.

Emma Heart!

Body of Review: Mike John has mentored more gonzo "directors" over the years than probably anyone else in the business if you believe some of the insiders that speak so highly of him these days, his work distributed by Jules Jordan Video at a time when some of his former employers are barely scrapping by to make ends meet. If you've read my reviews of his work over the last ten years, you'll know I hold a very favorable opinion of the man and his talents, his latest release called Elastic Assholes 7: Special Edition, the sequel to the anal-flavored Elastic Assholes 6 I enjoyed earlier this year. Once again, Mike puts the attractive ladies like Emma Heart, Rebeca Linares, Hannah West, Tatiana Kush, Bobbi Starr, Marie Luv, and the popular Jada Fire through their anal paces, squeezing out every bit of heat and energy he could from them in this nearly 4.5 hour epic gonzo title. There was a lot of interracial action for those that care and even the weakest performance was strokable as far as I was concerned, the selection of ladies all but guaranteeing that fans of the director will find it very satisfying indeed. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Jada Fire, the curvy black gal seen on the upper right hand corner, was up first as she teased by the pool in her small bikini. This attracted the attention of Steve French and Steve Holmes, the guys spying on her as she spent some quality time in the sun, moving to the shaded area of the house where she wrapped her precious lips around Holmes' cock to blow him, soon moving inside to go even further. He played with her titties and then began drilling her in a standing doggy by the doorway, French meeting them to offer her his cock orally until they worked their way to the couch. Jada liked the men going down on her and providing peckers to play with, Jada actively riding on them in her pussy and ass as her breasts shook mightily. The men DP'ed her (one cock in the pussy while the other was in the ass) and they choked her as she requested, the rush making it even better for Jada as an enhancement to the chemistry displayed. The scene ended when the men launched wads of genetic juice to her face, the spew oozing down her face and giving her a semen goatee.

Scene Two: Bobbi Starr, the curvy white brunette seen on the lower left hand corner of the front cover, was up next as she provided ample booty tease in the living room, stretching her perfect pucker with toys to make the large black cock of Sean Michaels somewhat easier to handle in her back door. The contrast between their fleshtones was visually stimulating and Bobbi knew how to tease as well as please, some ATM with the toy a prelude to her oral tricks licking his balls and ass as well as slobbing his knob aggressively. Sean gave as well as he got orally and after he was done with her deep throat act, he went straight into her asshole as she guided him in. It took a few pumps before she became active at riding him that way but she clearly enjoyed a large black dick in her ass from her continued moaning and the smile on her face. They continued in multiple positions with her cleaning him off using ATM, his population pudding rubbed out into her open mouth for swallowing and post coital sucking showing her love of his tasty treat.

Scene Three: Marie Luv, the lean black gal seen on the upper left hand corner of the cover, was up next as she walked through the house in her sweet booty shorts and tiny top, the emphasis of her tease being on her shapely ass. Marie has been an anal princess for years now so I knew she'd do just fine with the backdoor sex, her partner ending up as James Dean. Marie's muscle tone was tight for those of you into that sort of thing, the move to a toy to stretch her ass as she crawled up the stairs nice to watch, James taking over by the couch on the second floor. Marie then massaged his penis through his pants, dropping them to access his cock orally though he was more interested in banging her ass and getting slightly rough with her. She begged for him to continue, his slapping and minor choking not doing much for me but turning her on from the looks of it. Marie was largely passive during the anal penetration here and she milked his balls dry with a hummer towards the end, his own hand jerking out most of the sperm from what I could tell.

Scene Four: Hannah West, the cutie with nice booty spotted on the middle of the bottom cover in blue lingerie, was the last scene of the first disc, the gal on a chair during a windy but sunny day as she lubed up an anal toy orally. Her ass looked especially good bent over the chair and the visuals were clear enough that I could see the fine hairs on her body moving with the wind, her smile as she spoke to Mike evident of her appreciation of her sexuality. From the yard she moved onto a bed inside the house, continuing to masturbate with the toy as she waited for orally inclined Steve Holmes to take over, the gal showing visible signs of liking all he was doing while their personal chemistry built up to new heights. She blew him seductively in return and they began boning vaginally, a few positions later turning to anal with her slowing down as a result. The positive side of things was that she looked good no matter how actively or passively she rode his rod, her all natural body and tiny pussy having a difficult time with her girth. The scene finished up with Hannah jerking him off during her ending blowjob, Steve holding her head to ensure she received all he had to offer. This was far from her best scene but it showed how much potential she has nonetheless.

Scene Five: Tatiana Kush, the brunette with the heart shaped ass on the upper middle of the front cover, was the first scene on the second disc, her milky white skin contrasting nicely with darker Mr. Marcus and Sean Michaels after her sweet tease in the living room. She used a larger anal plug to ready herself for their black cocks, the men walking in to offer her their dicks for sucking as well as their tongues for warming her up; Sean rimming her backdoor to her delight. I liked how much eye contact she kept with Marcus and occasionally the camera, alternating between the men as she slobbed their knobs and rode them vaginally with a nice pace. The men joked about her a little and she smiled while turned on, Marcus getting inside her ass first as she released the tension built up over time. This was another area where a gal got better with time and experience, the oral always played up in between positions and her penchant for DP action showing she could not as easily handle them that way. With all the taste testing and semi-active riding taking place, I found it weird that they held her head down to unleash their seed at her face, the gal finding it going all over her as the men laughed (some of the spew swallowed).

Scene Six: Rebeca Linares, the waifish cutie on the lower right hand corner, was up next in her black lingerie, the gal teasing in the living room as she stripped and showed her all natural body. Rebeca smiled as she felt herself up and otherwise presented herself to the camera, her mane of black hair enhancing her look substantially for me as she crawled over to Mr. Pete to blow him. Rebeca aggressively attacked his cock orally and he fingered her deeply, the gal grinding her ass into his face as he serviced her warm backside and then slid down to actively ride his cock. Rebeca was vocal about what she liked and seemed to be into her zone, the eventual anal and rough stuff not slowing her down much at all as she embraced her inner whore. The hole he picked to fuck would vary but she always seemed to like tasting it, the guy rubbing out his load to her mouth at the end.

Scene Seven: Emma Heart, the curvy blond seen on the middle of the right hand side of the cover, was up last and she looked so much like Bree Olson here that doing them together might constitute a dream come true regarding hotty twins. She was wearing a red bikini that left little to the imagination, the thong riding her ass crack much like I wish my tongue could do in real life. The tease by the pool was hot too as she rubbed herself and otherwise jiggled her ample sample before moving indoors to work with Sean Michaels, the man oiling her up first to enhance her look. They went into the living room where he stripped her naked, feeling her up as if savoring a prize he was about to take. The two did some oral on each other and appeared to have some personal chemistry too, her puffy pussy lips drawing some attention. She was a very active vaginal rider and seemed at home with a cock in her ass once she learned to accommodate his size, her pouty little moans saying volumes as the pair bumped uglies. There was some additional oral here and he jerked off to her mouth for swallowing, the lovely little babe a delight the entire time. Whew!

Summary: Elastic Assholes 7 by director Mike John for Jules Jordan Video was a lot of fun and while the replay value might not have been as high as some of his best works, the strokability was assured thanks to scenes such as the ones with Emma Heart or Bobbi Starr so I rated it as Recommended. In short, Elastic Assholes 7: Special Edition was much like Elastic Assholes 6 except with a better cast, my own feeling about anal action mixed when the ladies were not up to the task at hand as well as their vaginal escapades. Still, you could do far worse than this one and it is easy to see why Mike is a leader in the gonzo realm even after all these years. Suffice it to say, the amount of fuck for the buck was very high this time, the movie lasting almost 4.5 hours compared to some of the shorter (and watered down) efforts by lesser companies so check it out.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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