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Bettie XOXO

Studio: Adam & Eve » Review by Crimson Clown » Review Date: 1/16/09

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

Now there are three stages of beauty. There's sexy, a woman who can definitely be seen as one capable of being in a sexual fantasy or thought of in a sexual manner. There's hot, a woman whose body could be thought of as curvaceous and bears an animal sex appeal, and then there's beautiful a woman whose looks are unnaturally incredible. Now, Ava Rose may be beautiful, and she is, but she's not Bettie Page. These days it seems any brunette porn star with bangs is dappered up to look like the notorious pin up without ever capturing the flavor and charisma she possessed and as beautiful and sexy as Ava Rose is, she's simply not Bettie Page. Erm... I mean: Yay, it's Ava Rose! Gawd did this chick drop out of 1940 or what? I wuv her. And I love the wicked production values from Adam and Eve whose own dreamy haze from the segment to segment is just outright blinding. This review is in remembrance of the true pin up doll. She will be missed.

Ava Rose
While I love Ava Rose as a performer I'm still not sure I buy her Bettie Page. Speaking as the folks cringing "Who gives a fuck?" I think there's a market for a recurring porn star like Flesh Gordon and Emanuelle. Ava Rose could fit the bill easily. If you can believe it, the film actually tries to pull off a narrative that takes place in modern times. Not that it matters this being a porno and all but Bettie is not Bettie incidentally. Rose is just someone who looks an awful lot like Bettie discovered by a roaming photographer who catches glimpses of her in lingerie as her mate saunters over to her to make out. Perplexed the photographer takes snap shots and they waste no time as Ava goes down on him sucking he and his balls off and after licking the taints and shaft she bends over to take a beating with his rod pumping softly and then hard. Sloping down off the bench in the small hiding place, he kneels down to eat her out and inevitably mounts her spread eagle to pound her pussy as she sucks his fingers; As the passion ensues he comes all over her waist the photographer keeps chronicling the elusive beauty.

Brooke Belle & Viki La Vie

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Brooke and Viki are the photog's clients who wait in the studios making random small talk as he sets the set for separate snap shots and invite them on the couch where the heat rises and he's invited to join in on the fun. They engage in soft petting, fondling and a light make out session where Brooke licks Viki's tits and she reciprocates. The photographer is reconsidering their offer to join as he watches in great interest and watches some more as Brooke eats Viki making it in to a fine art as she leans back and groans with the prodding and licking. Brooke then kneels down as Viki is fingered by her mate and inevitably cums on her hand. After cleaning off their fingers the two make out and finally convince Mr. Camera Man who joins in kissing and fondling both women taking his hand and palming their clit taking Brook from behind and letting their fingers do the walking for him. Stripping down finally, they gourge on his cock, sucking his balls and shaft. The give and take is settled as the 69 allows all three performers to take part in some form of sexual activity. This is the time the photographer takes to fuck Brooke and get a blowjob from Viki simultaneously. Brooke takes the most initiative by riding him backward cowgirl, and finishes off on the two women who continue their fucking come rain or shine.

Jenny Lopez and Kelly Skyline
He is still obsessed over this elusive Bettie Page look alike and goes back to his home to discuss how to track down this woman identified as Bettie Page on the box but not in the movie. How curious. After driving off his agent's home, Bettie, we learn, is in cahoots. Ava Rose can't act a lick, but who cares, it's porno. Meanwhile showing off their tits and are the Jenny and Kelly. He's confronted by Bettie who refuses to work for him and tends with two blond model hopefuls who demand to be shot at that moment and the ever disappearing Bettie is gone. The women persist in him shooting them and they get what they want when he's called away by dressing in skimpy lingerie for him. I have to be a photographer. Either way, left to their own devices leads to the two dim bulbs making woopy on his couch with clothing strewn about and the foreplay heavy. This leads to girl on girl action with (who I'm assuming) Kelly going down on Jenny as she spreads wide groaning. Jenny reciprocates with soft tongue and finger action that drives Kelly crazy. After witnessing their display he kicks them out on their behinds with lingerie in tow.

Holly Wellin
Max and Holly Wellin get down in to heavy foreplay immediately, rubbing on each other and stripping the other's attire. Naked Holly stands and spreads for him as he sits to enjoy her rubbing providing some erotic display for the gentleman who is quite enamored with the woman sucking him off. After some heavy sucking from the man, she mounts him and gets pounded riding him cowgirl style. She eventually lies on her back getting his from him rapidly and gets a heavy oral display from the man as Holly struggles not to scream. As his eating her pussy heats up and he raises a leg to pound on her reverting back to oral. This time it's Holly's turn as she sucks and swallows his man meat deep throat, and then rides him backward cowgirl until he finishes off on her face and mouth.

Ava Rose
It's Ava Rose again looking as beautiful as ever. She's mad at the pictures--well not mad, but more like a mixture of confused and disgruntled by the pictures which her photographer had in development. Bettie is upset but she's willing to dole out some trust only if he takes the pictures. No camera is seen because Bettie quickly get to work on him flattered by the pictures (?). She knows what he really wants and the two go at it as Bettie is undressed and fondled while he slowly follows after. This leads to cock sucking and ball licking as he stands to take it; they take the chance for making out and Bettie works her magic on the man who enjoys every second. She then leans over as he takes his palm and rubs it out lying her down to eat her out passionately. After the foreplay ends, he pounds the pussy so hard her head nearly pops off. Taking a break, Bettie goes in for some oral on him and the fucking persists at a steady pace with Bettie taking it side ways and then backward cowgirl. She's spread eagle the couch and he fucks her ass, and he finally finishes on her chest capturing his prize.

The quality for this release was superb with a widescreen presentation that compliments the tones and bright colors that keep a fantastic gleam to it and viewers who care their porn looks like. The picture quality is sharp and bright and the sound is so good I had to lower my stereos because even the dialogue was piercing my ears a bit, so a big thumbs up to this department.

We get a great twelve minute Behind the Scenes feature where the director taunts the performers and gives us a look in to their shoots including Ava Rose whose own hotness scale drops from a 9 to a 7 once that smoking candid scene enters. Sorry chicks, it's not attractive. And my first question was: What in the holy hammer of fuck is this crap? From the eighties tint to the rambling music I felt like I watching a video from 89 and not a making of video. And come on Ava, you're one gorgeous woman, but you're not Madonna where as most of this Behind the Scenes revolves around Ava and the technical crew. I would have love to see the whole thing without rolling my eyes but it did. It's a smug, self important little feature. We also get trailers, a photo gallery and a scene from Naughty Co-Ed Caper that has nothing to do with the movie we'd finished seeing.

After Thought:
Every thing in assets and Roses depiction of the pin-up are masterful and it's only fitting a movie surrounding the late and great Ms. Bettie Page. She was an enticing enigma and her love her for keeping us in the dark long held her as an icon. This may not be a dedication, but it's a testament to how many people are willing to try at acing Page's look and charm. I Highly Recommend it.

Follow Crimson Clown: https://twitter.com/DeltonProuse

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