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Lord of Asses 13

Studio: Tom Byron Pictures » Review by Wind Tunnel » Review Date: 10/5/09

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Lord of Asses 13
An Exquisite Release Directed by Tom Byron
Starring:  Sasha Grey, Aurora Snow, Lexi Love, Poppy Morgan & Bobbi Starr.
With:  Tom Byron
Condoms?:  None!
Runtime:  2hr 39min

Brief Synopsis:
Thirteen installments later, Tom Byron brings us the cream of the crop of the porn world into his den of ass worship and assorted other delectable practices, keeping the report easygoing and sex tilting toward the higher ranges of the raincoat gauge.  We could all be so lucky!

[Scene One]  Sasha Grey

After a touch of poolside posing, Sasha appears on the bed, with Tom keeping his cool behind the camera.  Taking her in, he admits that she's "why I will be doing porn until I'm 100 years old," an admission that spurts a rare giggle out of the usually stone cold Sasha.  The small amount of chatty back and forth leads to a warm up blow job at the corner of the bed, point-of-view style, harkened into a comfortable bedside position.  Bashing together in cowgirl, the two formulate a palpable rhythm that leads to a prick taste, Sasha soon arching her rear into the air, allowing Tom full access to sniffing, licking and burying his face into her booty and pussy.  Handing the camera off to a comrade, Tom drives into doggy-style gear with Sasha, gliding in cowgirl and massaging her corn hole with his fingers. And so the anal begins in missionary, whispered and slow, blossoming into shouts with each passing pump.  Sasha keeps her kitten warm as Tom goes deeper, piling into from high in doggy, earning a "fucking make my asshole cum!" as her face is buried into the mattress.  In standard and reverse cowgirl the antics continue with glee, each partner taking a turn holding anchor, either crossing from above or hunting from below, spooning to follow.  After a dissolve, Sasha hooves Tom's dick once more over, his rain of seed spraying all over her face, traces landing inside her opened mouth (precious little is downed).  It's a rollicking good time, even if Sasha isn't exactly as dirty as she's capable of being otherwise.  It's a nice one-on-one that is plenty smutty, however, delivering a delightful ass-smattering that will sure to please.

[Scene Two]  Aurora Snow

"What do we have to talk about anyway?" says Tom to Aurora, already worldly familiar with each other over the years.  Both veterans, it's clear that they'd rather get right down to it, a swirling blow job in the tank after a few minutes.  Bending him over, Aurora jerks Tom's trumpet and feasts on his ass, lapping it up and diving right in.  Tom reciprocates mightily as well, going tongue-first toward Aurora's warmed ass.  Cowgirl causes our girl to coo and spread her cheeks, opening her back hole as she shuttles atop Tom's wand.  The hoots and hollers continue once Aurora's ass is breached, her legs apart in a wingspread as Tom goes to gapetown, quavers uttering from his partner's chords. The beat hits louder and faster in doggy, more pronounced, almost spiritual amount of gaping, with Tom landing his jet from a heightened angle for maximum penetration. Aurora swishes the collection around, holding close in standard and reverse cowgirl, finally erupting over her face in a sticky mess, causing her to laugh as the mess spreads. With her extended assault on Tom's rear senses, it's clear that Aurora wants and gets everything she wants out of him, keeping those gapes ever-widening and her cries shrieking.  Both equally experts, it's a pleasure to see them go at it full-gear, pleasing each other with such gusto.  Bravo, dudes!

-- sponsored by --

[Scene Three]  Lexi Love

Parting her silvered shorts, super slim Lexi shows off her tamed bush ("I don't have monkeys swinging in the jungle down there," she admits), gracing Tom with a prick kneading, tickling his asshole and keeping her mouthwork fluffy and fresh, stroking him all the while.  Tom does the same, leading to cowgirl (her heels still on), swatting away at Lexi's ripe rear end.  Missionary signals in the anal trail, Tom wiggling Lexi's berry long enough to eke out a flowing squirt flower, the undulations continuing in doggy.  She keeps her hands busy with that valve, dousing the camera in another watery dose while Tom thumps her from behind, baring her feet as they go into reverse and classic cowgirl (with gapes ahead!).  Lexi wipes up Tom's port hole once again, with a last ass bash culminating in a jerked-out spout of sauce for the finish, all over her face.  A quick taste later, we fade out.  Another mainstay of the business, Lexi's performance is quite exciting, with all that squirting taking center stage against her ass-eating skills (as well as her ability to be so anal-oriented, as well).  The scene did feel a touch short, though the action surely isn't slight in the least.


[Scene Four]  Poppy Morgan

"Every girl I know takes it up the ass," intones Poppy in her Mancunian accent, revealing her bare ass beneath her shred of cut-off shorts.  She spits and jolts Tom's dick in pov, burying every inch of it in her mouth, lifting her ass up for Tom to bask in its toasty luxury.   After devouring her chute, doggy sets forth, the daisy pulling going higher and higher until Poppy stops for a moment to lube Tom's wick.  Poppy dines on his ass, tugging on his horn and shifting her digits along that particular road.  In missionary, Tom enters her heart- haped butt and clamps down on her cheeks, changing his speeds to keep it all running smoothly.  He piledrives into Poppy, pulling over to take in her winking gape, shifting to doggy and switching between both of her holes.  Cowgirl, in its classic and reverse forms, keeps the clawing and the fair play going, Poppy keeping her hands and holes busy at all times.  Tom undoes his load, spewing victorious in a straight line across her face, a true enough aim that lands a portion a few heads past Poppy (a long time coming!).  Poppy is truly charming and affable during the whole scene, sometimes leaping around in search of another taste of dick, a deeper angle of fuck, or just another orgasm in general.  That her needs seem to be matched with Tom's equipment and assy preferences is great enough as it is, and she's cute up to the final moments we spend with her.  Thanks, Poppy!

[Scene Five]  Bobbi Starr

After a few gasp-worthy moments of ogling, Tom wonders just where the world has hidden Bobbi all these years.  "Where have you been?  Obviously not in my butt!" she replies with a smile.  And no sooner afterward, the ever-leggy Bobbi is offering that butt of hers for Tom to snuggle his face into, planting thick smootches inside and out, earning a blow job in return.  He thrusts from below as Bobbi hovers in cowgirl, grazing her brown hole with his fingers as she booms downward herself.  Doggy starts off the anal pricking, causing Bobbi to howl as her netted outfit gets pushed and pulled, the lower registers ringing as Tom pulses along.  She keeps her digits diddling her slit as Tom fires down in missionary, howing off her gaping butt hole as they pass into cowgirl, standard and its flipside.  Bobbi's thick thighmastering carry Tom to the top of the mountain, bulleting a stream of cream over her face in lines and lines.  Bobbi is quite freewheeling here, though she never ventures into the -lingus upon her partner, much like her equally filthy sister-on-disc Sasha.  Still, her ass-wielding gifts are no less legendary by this semi-relectance, and otherwise she turns in a very good scene, even if it seems almost vanilla in comparison to her messier work.  Nice stuff, Bobbi!



Bonus Features

A scrolling Photo Gallery (7min), eight Trailers (23min total), and a reel of Other Fun (8min, ads for phone sex lines and websites) attest for the smaller, more insignificant portion of the section, with a 33 minute Behind the Scenes segment copping the highest rate of overall interest.  In it, we find a nice array of interviews with each of the girls, pre-scene, completely at ease and more than willing to chat.  Bobbi talks about her love for the Raiders, Sasha on her high school years, Poppy about her first exposure to porn, Lexi on her performance history, and Aurora waxing about her feature dancing tour days, as well as what the fans are buying these days ("shoes, lots and lots of my shoes").  The whole comes off as unguarded and pretty sweet, which is really a swell change of pace.

Audio/Visual Quality
The picture was presented in a matted 1.77:1 ratio, standard definition full frame (black bars for tube owners, but picture-boxed for high-definition sets).  All the scenes were shot with studio lights, occasionally on the warmer side of the spectrum (with whites being especially bright at times).   As the performers draw closer as each scene progresses, the color balance is actually more even, those close-ups being the most successful in terms of fullness in tone.  The standard 2.0 audio tended to showcase the pre-scene audio at a higher click, leaving the local, scene-based audio to be less dynamic in comparison.  Clear as it is in the cleanliness department, the levels tended to be shallow during whispering sections, though the more crow-hardy yelps proceeded without any distortion despite their relative level spike.  A positive, but not noteworthy presentation, but still good enough to get the job done.

Final Thoughts
On the whole, Lord of Asses 13 showcases what Tom Byron brings to the table: a rock-solid stable of talent, coupled with his easy-going, pleasing mantra of positivity.  In this sometimes lost world of "serious"-faced performers, it's so nice to see people (nee performers) enjoying themselves so much, so happy to be in each other's company, and so willing to be anally available in all manners and fashions (though, honestly, Tom is downright conservative when compared with other, less wholesome-feeling directors).  It's all very equal-opportunity on either end for all involved, even when the more notorious performers (Sasha, Bobbi) are less forgoing than usual, even by way of their lesser (but in no way less worthy) known co-stars (Poppy, who almost out-performs everybody), as well as the always satisfying stalwarts (Aurora & Lexi).  It's all worth a well-served Recommendation, though go in knowing that you'll probably have a grin across your face once it's all over, and there will be no shame in your game once the set gets turned off.  Heck, you might even hang around for seconds.  And why not?

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