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Housewives of Amber Lane

Studio: Wicked Pictures » Review by The Mooninite » Review Date: 2/20/09

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

The Movie:

Randy Spears' latest directorial offering from Wicked Pictures tells the tale of a bunch of horny housewives who all live on the same street and enjoy getting fucked. This results in the male population of the street running around and basically fucking anyone who is willing to get down. That's more or less it - the plot isn't anything too heavy at all, it's simply an excuse to string together a bunch of fuck scenes starring a group of women who are maybe a little older than your average porno starlet.

Here's a rundown of who fucks who and who they do it:

Scene 1 - India Summer And Randy Spears: Randy and India talk about how Randy's neighbors like to get it on in plain view of anyone walking by the house. This apparently makes them horny and so India starts sucking on Randy's cock right beside the fireplace. She climbs up on top of him and rides him for a bit until he's ready to blow at which point he pulls out and pulls off all over her feet.

Scene 2 - Phoenix Marie And Marco Banderas: Marco's interviewing with Phoenix who is considering hiring him as a gardener. She lures him into her bedroom, gets his pants off, and sucks his cock for a good long while. He slips a rubber on and bends her over to fuck her from behind and he goes at it for a few minutes until he's ready to blow, at which point he pulls out and goops all over her titties.

Scene 3 - Michelle McLaren And John West: Michelle is confessing to John about how she's nervous about returning to the club she used to dance at. He reassures her and she thanks him by slipping his cock down her throat. After blowing him he fucks her from a couple of different angles and pulls out to come all over her face. The pair keep a lot of their clothes on for this scene, which could be a positive or a negative depending on your point of view.

Scene 4 - Sue Diamond And Randy West: Randy shows up with some cookies to welcome his shapely new neighbor to the area. She's so impressed with his thoughtfulness that she gives him a blowjob. After gobbling on his knob for a while, he gets her on her back and fucks her for a bit. He pulls out and she sucks him again (the condom is still on) and then he slips it back in and pumps away a while longer. He pulls out and unsheathes so that he can spray her tits with jizz.

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Scene 5 - Austin Kincaid And Nick Manning: Austin is feeling a little glum about getting older so Nick decides to try and cheer her up. After some foreplay she sucks him off and he repays her by plowing her snatch for a few minutes. He pulls out and comes onto her tits. Nick growls like a bear during almost this entire scene to the point where whatever steam was being generated is completely lost - it's hard not to giggle at him. I mean, we all make weird noises in bed, but this is ridiculous...

Scene 6 - Amber Lynn And Evan Stone: Last but not least, Amber's getting ready to head off to work but Evan wants her to stick around for some playtime. They kiss and he eats her out while she plays with her ass a bit. He fingers her pussy and her ass at the same time and she gives him head. He fucks her missionary style while she works her clit with her fingers. She blows him again and he comes into her mouth and onto her face.

The sex in this feature is pretty much all plain vanilla. It's all very 'safe' and this is probably the type of porno movie that your mom and dad would rent to spice things up in the bedroom. As such, there's definitely an audience for this type of smut - middle aged couples will likely eat it right up and find it fairly steamy stuff. That said, you really have to appreciate MILF types with fake tits to get into this one, and baby, that's just not the Mooninite's bag. I realize I'm not in the target demographic for this release but honestly, this just wasn't all that hot. It's nicely shot with some softness provided in plenty of scenes thanks to some overly stylized lighting - this does create a 'romantic' mood in many of the scenes that some will definitely appreciate. The movie is well made, nicely shot, competently acted and full of plenty of sex - if vanilla porn is your thing, you'll definitely enjoy it. Otherwise, keep on looking, there's nothing to see here.



Housewives Of Amber Lane looks very good in this 1080p VC-1 1.78.1 anamorphic widescreen transfer. Detail levels are pretty strong throughout though there are some times where the skin tones look a little bit on the pinkish side - this could be a result of the lighting and might have been an intentional choice on the part of the filmmakers, however. There aren't any issues at all with compression artifacts or edge enhancement anywhere to be seen. Eagle-eyed viewers may spot just a hint of shimmer here and there but you do have to be looking for it to notice it and generally the movie looks very good in HD.


The sole audio track on this Blu-ray release is a 48 kHz 384 kbps Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound mix in English. While it would have been nice to see a Dolby TrueHD or DTS-HD mix included to really take advantage of the format, this standard definition surround sound mix gets the job done nicely. There isn't much rear channel activity except for the score but the music does sound nice and crisp. Levels are well balanced throughout the production and the dialogue is always easy enough to follow and understand.


First up is a bonus sex scene with Austin Kincaid, Jessica Drake and Barrett Blade from Tasty. Presented in 1.78.1 VC-1 HD, Jessica and Austin are hanging out in a garage dressed in miniskirts and eating ice cream cones. Mr. Blade, dressed as an ice cream man, finds them there. They give him head and take turns riding him and getting fucked by him until he pulls out and takes the rubber off so that he can come onto Jessica's face and end the scene.

Behind The Scenes Of Housewives Of Amber Lane is a twenty-minute standard definition featurette that includes some on set cast and crew interviews and a fair bit of footage shot on set during the production. There's also a fair bit of XXX material here, shot fly on the wall style, in addition to a few scene tests and flubs. It's an amusing enough look at the making of the feature and as such is worth a peek for fans of the feature.

Motion menus, trailers, a pair of still galleries, a web link and scene selection round out the supplements on this release.

Final Thoughts:

In an attempt to be fare, let's slap this release with the 'rent it' stamp. If you're in the target demographic for this release (ie. You want to get the wife in the mood without putting on anything too hard) then you'll probably enjoy this. The movie has nice production values and is definitely better made than your average porno film. The sex is pretty safe and harmless, meaning that those looking for something different will find Housewives Of Amber Lane fairly dull and that those who want to play it safe will likely be more than happy.

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