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Teenage Wasteland

Studio: Diabolic » Review by Harry Johnson » Review Date: 3/17/09

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Genre: Compilation

Director: Varied by scene

Cast: Bree Olson, Lexi Belle, Sasha Grey, Whitney Stevens, Sammie Rhodes, Roxxxy Rush, Hailey Paige, Michelle Maylene, Aubrey Addams, Reena Sky, Stephanie Cane, Persia DeCarlo, Priscilla Milan, and Claire Robbins.

Length:  2 hr 32 min

Production Date:  01/17/2008

Condoms: Nope


A cumshot recap and gallery are all you're going to find here for bonus features..


Teenage Wasteland's video quality is the pits. I'm not joking, and I don't want to bash the release, but every scene on this disc is compressed to the point where everything is marred by pixels. Jagged edges, a squished aspect ratio (it's a full frame release, but widescreen scenes are adjusted to be presented in a 1.33:1 ratio, so they are stretched), and poor quality all around make this one hard to watch. I experienced this same phenomenon with three DVD players, and it was only on the PC that I was able to manipulate the screen enough for individual scenes to get the aspect ratio right. The only thing that's solid about the whole package is the clean, nicely designed menu. The sound quality makes out slightly better with some decent volume control and not too much with regards to distortion. It's still not stellar mind you, but it's nowhere near as terrible as the picture quality.  


Taking a cue from the Who song, Teenage Wasteland collects a whole bunch of scenes (14), edits them down to the core, and squishes them onto a single disc with a runtime at two and a half hours. The editing is jarring, the presentational quality is poor, and all across the board this release feels like a pile of wasted potential. Compilations from other publishers spread their material out onto two discs and present them in their original aspect ratios and compression rates. That's not the case here.

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Considering the fourteen scenes here are edited down to be somewhat barebones, we're going to approach this review a little differently. The scenes aren't quite lengthy, or outstanding, enough to talk about fully. Rather than dissect the action of each starlet I figure it would be a fine idea to look at the package as a whole and judge it based on the merits of the entire release rather than a few individual scenes, as good as they may be.

Teenage Wasteland gets started with a scene featuring Bree Olson from Spring Chicken's #19. It begins with her sucking away on her partner's cock and thanks to the editing job the next part of the scene is trimmed and we cut right to Bree getting prepped for an ass fucking. The action is hot enough, and Bree almost always puts on a good show. There are many moments here the performers kick it up a notch, but the cutting of the scene down to save on disc space feels jarring. Of course the same can be said for every other scene that is presented here.

After Bree comes Lexi Belle from Come As You Please 2. This scene starts out with Lexi sucking her partner's dick and very little in terms of foreplay. The editing job isn't quite as choppy as it was in the first scene, and for what it's worth the action here is incredibly hot. The third scene has Hailey Paige from Down the Hatch 20 and quite honestly, the whole affair lasts about three minutes. It starts with Hailey sucking a guy, and then getting fucked by him, and faster than you can say "stimulus package" she's swallowing his load and the scene fades to black.

After that disappointing affair Sasha Grey appears in a scene from I'm a Big Girl Now #6. This is another one of those "cut right to the chase" scenes and it begins with a Sasha sandwich. She starts out with a dick in her ass and one in her mouth, but she never gives up the DP. The action goes on to follow the guy fucking her ass, who eventually cums in her mouth, and then switches to the other guy who fucks her pussy and finishes the same way. It's dirty and it's Sasha so that's something I suppose, but all around this scene was just "meh". Things get better in Sammie Rhodes scene from Spring Chickens #9, but this is another example of a poor editing job. The scene opens with Sammie already riding a cock and it gets better as she gets onto her knees, but the whole thing ends in ten minutes and feels like it's only half or a third of a full scene.

Sunrise Adams is up next in a scene from A Perverted POV #2. I must admit that this was a very nice POV scene and Sunrise did an awesome job. It starts out with a little cock-sucking, moves on to some anal, and then back onto the dick sucking. Sunrise gets some nice glances at the camera and all around the scene felt fuller than others here. Spring Chickens #15 lends a scene with Michelle Maylene, and while it's high in energy, it's not very good otherwise. The guy in this scene is creepy and he ruins it. Thankfully Michelle is hot and she helps the scene out in a lot of ways.

Roxxxy Rush's scene from Teens With Tits #6 starts out just like Sasha's did with a dick in Roxxxy's ass and another in her mouth. While I enjoy Roxxxy in just about everything I've seen her do, this scene just wasn't very good. It was edited down to ten minutes and the action was just too brief for its own good. Likewise Claire Robbins' scene from I'm a Big Girl Now #3 just flat-out sucked. It's another threesome that has Claire getting fucked in the ass while deep-throating, but it's just such low quality all around that it's not even worth watching.

After that disappointing string of scenes Aubrey Addams has a very nice offering from Incumming #12. Like many of the other scenes here it starts with Aubrey being fucked. The action here is nice and the performers seem to have a decent connection, but a mere nine minutes later the guy cums in her pussy and it's over. Up next is Priscilla Milan & Reena Sky from 2 on 1 #28, and it is edited to begin in the middle of some fucking. The action here is very good all around. The girls put on a great show and there are some fine moments such as when Priscilla and Reena sit on top of each other and allow their guy to bounce between them.

Stephanie Cane appears in a scene from New to the Game, which is just bad all around. Stephanie puts on such a fake show it's not even funny and it's probably one of the most poorly acted porn performances I have ever seen. That's saying something and I couldn't wait for the scene to be over due to her blood curdling shrieking. Another I'm a Big Girl Now scene comes from the second installment and features Persia DeCarlo in the middle of a cock sandwich.  The scene starts out with the fucking already well underway and the guys trade places right up to the end where they coat her face. There are some nice moments here, but it's all poorly edited and wedged together. Again, you can expect the same from Whitney Stevens scene from Spring Chickens #17. It's another threesome scene that we join halfway through, and while there are some nice moments it's disappointing in the end.


Teenage Wasteland looked like a promising release. It's talent pool was pretty deep and since it comes from Diabolic, chances were good that it was going to be fairly entertaining. Unfortunately the decision to cram 14 scenes onto one disc and edit them down to their bones was just about as poor a choice as you could have made. Each scene is disappointing and though a few nice moments are scattered throughout the release, they are marred by the absolutely horrible video quality. Don't even bother with this one. A BIG Skip It.

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