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Call Girl

Studio: VCX » Review by The Mooninite » Review Date: 4/3/09

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

The Movie:

Olinka Hardiman, better known to North American smut connoisseurs as Marilyn Lamour, was a French actress who might be best known for her starring role in Emmanuelle Goes To Cannes. She made a string of European hardcore films before retiring in 1990 and her claim to fame was that she was a Marilyn Monroe lookalike. The resemblance is definitely there, and that's played up in this 1983 French XXX film, Call Girl, directed by Andrei Feher (who is credited on screen as Andrew Whyte).

When this Swedish import starts off, an undercover cop busts a young woman for prostitution. From there we cut to a couple hanging out on a couch. They play around a bit, kiss, and then she bends over and gets fucked doggy style. The girl is a cute freckled brunette, the guy has a tattoo of what looks to be a muscleman flexing on his left bicep. A man (Gabril Pontello) claiming to be her husband, who appears to have robbed Magnum P.I.'s wardrobe closet, comes into the room and he's none too pleased. He takes the money out of the man's wallet, makes him sit down for no reason, then kicks him out of the house. He bitches the girl out, he's her john, he tells her she'll fuck for money only the men he tells her to fuck and then he makes her suck his cock while some strange bubbley sounding music plays in the background. He picks her up and puts her in the sink and fucks her missionary style and then he pulls out and she finishes him off with her mouth.

Cut back to the girl who got picked up for hooking. She tells the cop (Richard Hemming) her name is Barbara (Ulla Wilmetz), she's recently been kicked out by her parents and needed work. The cop tells her to be nice to him and maybe they can work things out. They make out and then he sucks her tits and eats her out. She gives him head and then spreads her legs for him as he fucks her missionary style on his desk. He pulls out and shoots his load onto her tits and he tells her that she's so good he'd like to introduce her to his twin brother, Lucifer (Hemming again)!

Cut back to the pimp who was roughing up the girl in the first scene. He's in an attic somewhere, whipping a blonde chick that won't make love to him. She changes her mind and sucks his dick. Meanwhile in the other room the girl from the first scene is fingering herself. Lots of 'boo beow booo whuppa woo' laser sounds blare on the soundtrack as blondie gets fucked missionary style and winds up with a lot of jizz all over her neck while freckle face fingers herself to a climax. From there, the pimp moves on to a different blonde chick. He makes her suck his cock and then fucks her missionary style until he blows his load on her pelvis.

After that, we finally meet Lucifer, who is hanging out with a foxy woman named Natasha (Solveig Viberg) who needs to get some sensual girls to employ. He smokes a cigar and shows her some pictures. For some reason Lucifer has a weird 'Gene Simmons/Samurai ponytail' on top of his head. He fucks the Natasha, with a vibrator, never bothering to take his sunglasses off, and then eats her out. She sucks him off and then rides him reverse cowgirl until it's time to blow his load over her perky tits. We then see a bizarre montage of couples dancing, bullfighting (???), fireworks, a motorboat, and lots of disco lights.

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The pimp, who we learn is named Cesar, calls Natasha and tells her he's got a girl who looks like Marilyn Monroe for her. He has his men rough up the freckled brunette and trash talks her. They put her in a car and take off. They wind up at Natasha's place where they introduce everyone to Marilyn Lamour's character, a dead ringer for Ms. Monroe. She dances around the room and then leads a conga line around the pool. The pimp tells everyone she's a virgin and he opens the floor to bids from the group assembled in the room. A guy named Big John wins with a $20,000.00 bid and off they go to a room where he eats her out. Everyone breaks off into couples and fucks but the focus is on John and Marilyn, who really enjoys being eaten out. She gives him head and he fucks her missionary style and then pulls out and shoots onto her stomach. The people switch partners up and we see Marilyn get eaten out by a cute dark haired woman before everyone indulges in an orgy where everyone more or less fucks everyone else on the sectional couch.

The hooker from the opening scene is back on the streets, hanging out in front of the same bookshop. Lucifer shows up to collect his money, she's hooking for him now. We see him, wearing the same outfit he had on in the last scene which took place two days ago, collecting from a few of his girls. He runs into a black dude who works for him, and collects a few hundred bucks. Meanwhile Marilyn is hanging out with Cesar who gets a call from Natasha. It turns out people can't get enough of Marilyn and she wants her to turn a few tricks for her. Cesar says he'll let it happen for $25k a night though Natasha says that's too steep. Marilyn tells Cesar she loves him, which is odd because he's a total asshole, and then she gets naked and he eats her out and she sucks his cock. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, Natasha is making plans of her own.

Cut to a random dressing room where a really hairy dude is eating a chick out and then getting head from her. He fucks her doggy style. Natasha hooks one of her clients up with the opening scene hooker, Barbara. He sucks her tits. In the other room, people are playing cards and Cesar watches Marilyn fuck a politician (Ronald Engstrom). He fucks her from behind and then she blows him and all of a sudden everyone is fucking everyone else again. Marilyn sucks two cocks and gets her boobs covered while Barbara follows suit while making out with Natasha.

Cesar and Marilyn split and head home. She strips for him and then we see her fucking Lucifer. She sucks him off and he shoots his load on her tits. After they're done more disco blares on the soundtrack and we see the lights come up, all red. Marilyn does a strip show on a pool table. We cut to Cesar who is hanging out in an attic. Lucifer, now wearing a cowboy outfit, shows up and threatens him. The new see Lucifer celebrating his birthday with some friends. He tells them that Marilyn and Cesar have been sold to Nero and that Marilyn will get raped every day by a dozen sailors. We see Marilyn serving drinks and then an orgy breaks out with Lucifer concentrating on Marilyn, who he fucks from behind. Marilyn sneakily puts her clothes back on and then breaks a bottle over Lucifer's head and splits. She heads up to the attic and frees Cesar, they hop in a sports car and take off. The end.

What a confusing and goofy film. There are a lot of sex scenes in this one, which is a plus as the girls are all natural beauties and very attractive and enthusiastic. The film is very nicely shot and features some cool European locations and some nice footage of early eighties era Paris, giving it some odd charm. The plot, however, isn't particularly linear or, well, good at all. It gets pretty confusing, especially because characters just pop in and out more or less at random and often times without names. See this one for Olinka Hardiman, as she does bare a pretty striking resemblance to Marilyn Monroe and is a lot of fun to watch, just don't expect it to make tons of sense.



This fullframe transfer, which appears to present the film in its original aspect ratio, looks okay for an old XXX film from 1983, looks surprisingly good. There are some specks here and there as well as a moderate amount of grain but this looks to be a film sourced transfer and not a VHS or tape source. The unfortunate decision to add a 'Copyright VCX 2008' bug in the bottom of the image during a few key scenes is also a strike against the disc, as it is a little annoying when it continues to pop up (it rears its ugly head at least three times), but other than that, the interlaced transfer is acceptable even if colors are a bit faded and the darker scenes lose a fair bit of fine detail.


The Dolby Digital Mono soundtrack, dubbed into English, is a little muffled and not of the best quality, but again, it's taken from an older source so the limitations of the era's technology are going to be there when that's the case. Dialogue is pretty easy to understand, however, and the background music comes through reasonably clear. There aren't a lot of sound effects used in the film, mostly just some random moaning and groaning during the action scenes and these are handled just fine, as are the talkier bits of the movie.


Aside from some tacky animated menus, VCX has included three bonus scenes, the first of which is from Eruption and features John Holmes getting a blowjob. A giant 'ERUPTION' logo appears on the bottom of the screen for the duration, which is really annoying. The second scene is from Perfect Partners, an eighties era shot on video movie. This scene features Amber Lynn and Joey Silvera who go at it in the bedroom for a bit until she sucks him to a finish. The next bonus scene is from Three Faces Of Angel (11:31) and it features Angel and R. Bolla again. Angel enters Bolla's swanky apartment, he seduces her and then fingers her and eats her out. They move into a sixty-nine and then she sits on his face for a bit before she blows him and lets him fuck her missionary style. She finishes him off with a blow job. The final bonus scene is from Suzie Superstar and it stars Shauna Grant and Ron Jeremy. Shauna takes off her top and drops to her knees to give Ron head. She sucks him off for a while and he strokes off onto her ample and lovely cleavage.

Rounding out the extras are trailers are a picture of the original box art, a slideshow featuring some production stills and glamour shots of the cast in action, and trailers for Eruption, Extreme Facials, Suzie Superstar and Bacchanale as well as some animated menus, scene selection and a web-link.

Final Thoughts:

At times sincerely sexy while at other times baffling and unintentionally hilarious, Call Girl is worth seeing if you dig vintage European smut, particularly if you have an affinity for Marilyn lookalikes and Euro-disco! It isn't essentially viewing, but it's worth a watch. Rent it.

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