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Blow Guard

Studio: Other » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 4/28/09

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Having access to so many sex toys as a reviewer is a mixed blessing.  Sure, it opens up a world of possibilities regarding different tricks and partners ("Honey, I wasn't having sex with her, I was testing a toy for Xcritic! Honest!") but it also results in differing expectations not only for my partners but companies that fuss how their toy is better than a competitors toy or even the howls of disapproval from fans of a particular toy whining that their experiences were "so much better".  In short, it is easy to remember that toys are much like movies in that everyone has individual tastes so always take a review with a grain of salt before sobbing me a river that so many other people like a given toy.  That said, I turned my gaze to the increasingly popular Blow Guard, a mouthpiece with a small vibrator attached, designed by a dentist for blowjobs but also cunnilingus according to the fact sheet.  The company website listed the following as fact points for consideration:

  • Invented by a dentist.
  • The ingenious design delights both lovers.
  • The Blowguard™ is designed to increase your partner's pleasure.
  • Blowguard™ is made from a one-size-fits-all silicone that is phthalate free and safe.

    -- sponsored by --

  • Blowguard's™ mini bullet intensifies his or her ecstasy with its powerful vibration, lasting 30-45 minutes.
  • Easy to care for. Simply clean the tray with antibacterial soap and water and pat dry with a cotton cloth. It is also dishwasher safe.
  • For $27.95 (MSRP), the Blowguard™ includes the soft, flexible tray, mini bullet and a 6cc
  • pillow pack of Sex Tarts® strawberry flavored lube.
The device was flesh colored and did give about as strong a vibration as can be expected on a single button battery (battery included though it was dead within 28 minutes).  You place the vibrating bullet in the front end of the mouthpiece and off you go, ready to go down on a friend, loved one, or business partner, presumably enhancing the experience significantly.  When Nadine went crazy on me in this regard, she told me that it felt out of place in her mouth (the Blow Guard, not my cock) and prevented her from experiencing the full range of tactile pleasure she usually gets when giving head. 

For my part, the vibrations were not strong enough to alter the experience for me much, my pecker already at warp 5 in regard to how good the hummer felt.  Perhaps if it was used from the very beginning, it would have been different but that struck me as a modest compliment considering the nearly $30 the device cost.  Unlike many folks, I don't need a toy to liven up a dead sex life though so if trying out a gadget adds a thrill to you, by all means consider this one as worth checking out.  I tried it on her as well but she was soaken wet and well versed in giant sized, multi-battery vibrators so this might be another one on the margin of value for some of you.

One thing that was undocumented was how to change out the battery, or if it could be changed at all.  No specific information on the energy source was included, nor how to open up the plastic vibrator (it was not water tight by the way) without the tiny motor falling out.  Simply use a fingernail to pry it open when the battery dies and replace the battery with the same size, just take your time since getting it back together might prove challenging (cough) if you have big hands.  I appreciated that the mouthpiece was made of phathalate free silicone though my traveling buddy Nate would fuss about it being made in human-rights violating China.  The down side of the device is that it did not seem to like getting wet, the motor stopping after it got wet during testing.  I wasn't sure if this was supposed to be a one time toy (there was no mention either way) but conceptually at least, it was almost as good as other such vibrators I've tried out over the years (some of which clasp to the tongue) so check it out if you're interested.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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