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Studio: Channel 1 Releasing » Review by Rod Woodman » Review Date: 5/17/09

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended



DIRECTOR: Josh Eliot (who also wrote, edited & produced)


BODY TYPES: Late 20s to late 30s Muscle Studs, all with great bodies and big (to huge) dicks and - excluding Chi Chi - fit, attractive, heavily made-up women, with big breasts and shaved pussies. 


OVERVIEW:  This is definitely a bi-sexual movie, although they didn't include the commonly used identifying term "BI" in the title.  It was made in 1998 by Catalina and was a big hit at the time on VHS.  It was purchased, as was much or all of the Catalina Library, by Chi Chi LaRue and Channel 1 Releasing.  They are now releasing it on DVD.  The story - and there's a lot of it - is a spoof on horror-revenge movies like CARRIE, with a little HAIRSPRAY thrown in for good measure.  Although there are four long hot sex scenes - two bi-sexual threesomes, one gay duo and one straight duo - there is a lot of plot and dialogue.  Sometimes I just wanted to fast-forward to the sex.  The creator Josh Eliot won the "Gayvn Best Bi Video Award" four different years, although not for this particular movie.

PLOT: Quickly, it's the story of "Edweina Simplestein" (a name that everyone tends to humorously butcher), a "late-teenage" girl who is fat and, although she wears pouffy beehive hairdos, is basically unattractive.  She even has a large ugly facial wart. Everyone - her disapproving step father, her fellow (male) students in college, coaches and teachers - constantly puts her down.  She is understandably mad about this and eventually descends into witchcraft and spells to punish the nay-sayers.  Chi Chi plays her, it goes without saying, larger than life, to humorous over-the-top effect.


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It's difficult to laugh while enjoying sex, so the scenes wisely concentrate on the latter.  Tina, playing Edweina's teacher "Miss Swallows", asks two of her two hottest males students to "stay after school".  After she has banished Edweina to the gym,  she quickly lets her severely-worn hair down, takes off her glasses and removes her suit jacket, to let her sex-symbol good looks shine.  Anthony kisses her and caresses her big outstanding breasts.  Drew then whips out his large stiff cock, and Anthony immediately switches to sucking on it.  Like the good teacher she is, she talks dirty to them and tells them every move to make.  She drops her top, so that Drew can caress her breasts and suck on her nipples.  Anthony is still sucking Drews cock, so Tina drops down to help service him.  Although she's accomplished at this, neither one seems to be able to get on the whole thing down.  What they can suck is just the tip of the iceberg.  Drew has totally gotten out of his clothes, and he and Tina get Anthony naked as well.  He lies back on a desk, so that "Miss Swallows" can go down on his big dick as Drew feeds his missile into Anthony's mouth.  CUT to Drew now fucking "Miss Swallows" who's lying back on the desk where Anthony had just been.  She too is naked, except for a black garter belt, black lace-topped silk stockings and high heels - standard porno attire.  Drew caresses her tits as he pounds her pussy.  She takes a big bite on a juicy red apple as he screws away.  "Fuck my little cunt," she cries out as he's slamming into her.  Anthony fondles her clit  and pussy as Drew keeps fucking.  CUT to Anthony now standing and fucking Drew's ass, while "Miss Swallows" is sucking his cock, stroking and slapping it around all the while.  Drew wants more cock from Anthony who pounds his ass all the harder.  "Miss Swallows" continues sucking and playing with Drew's balls, until Anthony pulls out of his ass and shoots a big load on the floor.  "Miss Swallows"  jacks Drew off, and he blows his cums over her tits.  (I must have gone to the wrong college.)

Edweina and her tough gym teacher Ms. Challenger (the tight-bodied, thick-lipped Sharon Kane) get into it, as Ms. Challenger makes her struggle through exercises.  The two end up in a physical bitch fight until the coach, Mr. St. John (Ricky Starr), intervenes. Edweina is sent off to study hall.


Two of the coach's athletes, who have been practicing during all of the above, head off to the locker room to "practice" on each other, a gay man's locker room fantasy.  Rick is a dark-haired, model-handsome stud, and Andrew is a short-haired blond, a massively well-hung Aussie.  They begin this all gay-oriented scene locked in each other's arms and kissing.  Andrew pulls Rick's uniform off and immediately drops down to eat his ass.  There are great shots of this, Rick's pucker hole expanding and contracting at his will.  Andrew turns him around to go down on his now rigid dick, giving him a long and experienced blow job.  He stands, and they kiss some more.  Andrew gets rid of his uniform as well, so that Rick can goes down on him and suck on his unusually pale, but massive appendage.  "Want that dick up your ass." Andrew asks?  (I didn't hear anyone saying "no".)  CUT to Rick, already getting fucked.  He can and does take it, slow and deep, standing and bent over.  One thrust was so deep, even the DVD jumped.  There are great close-up shots of Andrew's wonderful dick sliding in and out of Rick's ass.  And then, as Andrew lies on a bench, Rick sits down on his dick and jacks off as he rides him.  He shoots a load of come on Andrew as he goes.  Andrew then drops his even bigger cum shot on Rick's ass.

Edweina is resorting to witchcraft now.  "I want to be pretty.  Really pretty!"  She gazes in her mirror, but there is NO change.  Disappointed, she heads to bed.  And then WHAM, Cassandra Knight, the blond bombshell on the Box Cover, appears in her place.  (This is the straight scene.)  She  takes her top off and voila! - big breasts.  Edweina's macho step-dad comes in the room and discovers her.  Cassandra says she's a friend of his daughter who's sleeping over.  He kisses her lips, then her breasts and then.....


Marcus sucks her tits and fingers her pussy.  Lying back on the bed with her red lips apart, Cassandra looks a bit like those inflatable fuckable dolls with its mouth ready for cock insertion.  He's naked now, and although he has a rough ok face, his great muscular body and huge dick take over his appeal.  She sucks his amazing dick, acting sort of "gay" about it.  When they get to fucking, she straddles his body and sits on his dick, so that he can fuck up into her pussy.  We get a full view of her naked body and shaved pink pussy being pounded by his huge dick.  She gives out with a lot of girlie squeels and "oohs" of appreciation as he rams her.  They then fuck missionary-style with him kneeling on the bed in front of her, her legs floating in the air.  He shoots a river of cum over her.  Hot fucking scene.  BUT Edweina reappears in the bed.  "Agh!"  She loved every fucking second of it, but he rejects her.  She scrunches up her fist and squeezes, and soon he collapses and dies.  Oh well. He wasn't very nice to her.

Edweina seeks out Miss Swallows and torments her, throwing a lethal-looking paper plane at her until it finally makes a direct hit, in her mouth!  "Agh" again.


The coach and the girl's gym teacher resolve their differences when the janitor Scott appears.  Ricky is thick and buff and the blond, fairer Scott is lankier, but also developed.  This is the second bi-sexual three way.  They get rid of essential apparel, so that Scott can go for Sharon's tits and then Ricky's (need I say?) big dick.  Sharon and Scott share sucking on it.  Sharon finally gets her pants off and Scott dives into her pussy.and Ricky her tits.  Scott works two fingers into her pussy, and then his tongue.  Ricky is jacking off watching their action: Sharon is lying on her side, and Scott is driving his dick into her from the rear and kissing her at the same time.  Ricky urges them on, "Fuck it good."  Scott shoots a big load of cum on Sharon, but he seems to get instantly hard again.  Ricky then fucks her from behind as she sucks on Scott's new erection.  Those are two huge dicks pounding into her.  The director likes his underneath shots and gets some great ones of Ricky going in and out of her pussy.  He pulls out and sprays his load of cum all over the place.

Edweina hasn't done her worst yet.  She farts and blows poor Andrew down the hall.  She comes after Sharon and chases her all over the place, finishing her off with a spell to change her into an old, crippled woman, complete with age lines, sagging breasts and a large facial wart to match Edweina's.  Edweina does admit that spells DO wear off.


The short list consists of Scene Selection, Pop Shot on Demand (now commonly called a Cumshot Review) and a "Wrap It Up" Promo - Chi Chi's practical plug for condom use.


The clear and brightly lit quality of the video is constant.  Director Eliot did his own editing and has won Gayvn Awards for this also.  Although there is excessive dialogue, he keeps the shots and over-all pace as tight as he can. The Aspect Ratio is 1:33 and presented Full Frame. 


The dialogue is always audible and clear.  There is music to support some of the sex action, but there is none obscuring the dialogue.  Appropriate sound effects accompany the witchcraft action.


This is a BI-SEXUAL film and would be a big turn off for gay men with no interest in, or toleration of, sexual activity with women.  It was made specifically for the bi-sexual male and women who enjoy two men having sex together, as well as with a woman. If the silly story doesn't get in their way, they will love it.  And for this audience, especially those who are obsessed with big dicks, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

Rod Woodman

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