Compiling a second trio of mid-eighties era Penguin Productions releases, Adam & Eve's The John Holmes Three Disc Collection Volume Two might not feature top-tier classic Holmes films, but it's a welcome addition to the classic smut fans library regardless. Each of the three films, which were all shot on video, moves along at a good pace and features a nice array of the decade's best performers in addition to nice camera work and solid production values. Here's a look:
I LOVE L.A.:
The first of the three I Love L.A. films that Penguin Productions made is this effort from1987. Directed by Jack Remy and Lee Cooper, it features Holmes alongside some of his east coast counterparts including such notable New York City woodsmen as Harry Reems and R. Bolla.
Basically, Holmes hosts this 'expose' into the lives of some of the Los Angeles area's hottest and horniest couples. Things start off with Bolla playing a sex therapist that spends his days working nonchalantly alongside his secretary, played by Shaun Michaels. When the scent of a plant arouses the two of them, Bolla throws Michaels on top of his desk and ravishes her. After Bolla's fucked her good and hard, she resigns - why? Because she's been moonlighting as a phone sex operator (remember phone sex lines? Yeah, the internet killed those.) alongside her foxy roommate, Crystal Breeze. The two of them have been making some pretty serious cash letting horny dudes pay good money to listen in on their lesbian love making sessions.
Meanwhile, back in the doctor's office, a patient named Mary (Kimberly Carson) shows up for her session. The doctor is busy, however, so he leaves her alone with a male patient played by Jessie Adams not realizing that the scent of the plant that caused him to bang the shit out of his secretary is still in the air. Carson and Adams waste no time getting down to it and that's that.
Our intrepid monster sized host pops up again to introduce us to Shone Taylor and Sheri St. Clair, two young people who live in the same apartment complex and who spend their free time away from work fucking and sucking like rabbits. We peer in on them and watch them perform before moving on to the next vignette where we meet a stuck up rich bitch played very well by Amber Lynn. Money can't solve all her problems though, as no matter how hard she tries, she just can't find a partner who can get her off. Holmes' narration tells us what she likes in a man and amazingly enough, he fits the bill. We then see some footage originally shot for Rubdown but not used given new life here. Holmes narration sends the film off on a humorous note and it's obvious he wasn't taking any of this too seriously. At the time that this film was made, John was definitely HIV positive and it's for that reason we can assume that the old footage is used in place of any new footage and why he appears in this film basically as a narrator rather than a full on sex performer.
SATURDAY NIGHT BEAVER:
Another Penguin Productions picture directed by Patti Rhodes in 1986, Saturday Night Beaver has nothing whatsoever to do with the infamous John Travolta film from which is so obviously swipes its name - and that's a damn shame, because there was some pretty serious potential there.
Regardless, there's no use crying over spilt milk. This movie follows two brothers, John Holmes and Joey Silvera, who get into trouble when Silvera calls Holmes up to complain about the fact that his fiancÚ, played by Vanessa D'Oro, just dumped him. Holmes tells his brother he's got to go take care of some business but that once that's done, he'll take him out and cheer him up. Cut to a scene where John hooks up with pretty Bambi Allen, who he fucks with some seriously gentle aplomb obviously taking his time and enjoying himself here and doing his best to make sure that it's reciprocated on her end as well.
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With his business taken care of, Holmes meets up with Silvera and his pal played by Jim Harker. They eat some pizza, talk some shit, and make fun of Holmes' dorky outfit and then head out to score with some chicks. John hooks Joey up with Angel Kelly and another girl in hopes that a three way will take his mind off of things. We later get a chance to see poor sad Joey get his knob gobbled Karen Summer who does a fine job on the oral side of things as they move into a sixty-nine. Meanwhile, Gary Blu Stone is eating some pussy of his own in the form of Carolyn Connoly who returns the favor and sucks his cock for him. After the oral shenanigans both guys get to dip their wicks in the ladies' pink ink, Silvera popping on her ass cheeks and Stone following suit.
Bambi Allen and Vanessa D'Oro give us a hint as to why Vanessa may have dumped her man when we see them together in the bedroom. The pair of hotties tongue kiss for a while and then rub their pussies together. Of course, before you know it, they're eating one another out and doing all those wonderful things that lesbians do in porno movies. Joey walks in on them just as they finish, leading us to wonder if he'll ever be able to salvage his relationship, a question that's soon answered when D'Oro gives him a really sweet blowjob and then rides him reverse cowgirl style. He pulls out and pops on her tits and they all live happily ever after.
John only shows up in the one scene here and while he's obviously enjoying his time with Bambi Allen, he doesn't look so good. He's definitely on the scrawny side and he has that burned out/stoned look to him that plague so many of his later offerings. Aside from that, however, this is a fun one. Silvera makes the most of his scenes and the girl on girl action is pretty hot. There's some decent humor here and even a bit of footage that shows off the Los Angeles area in the mid eighties.
Once again directed by Patti Rhodes for Penguin Productions, this 1986 shot on video quickie stars Buck Adams as a boxer named Drax Spago who, at the beginning of he movie, accidently kills his opponent in a boxing match. A pretty reporter played by Summer Rose was there for the whole thing and she talks to Spago's manager, played by John Holmes (and an atrocious grey haired wig that makes him look ridiculous), in hopes of getting an exclusive interview. Holmes, being Holmes, invites her back to his place under the pretense that he'll give her the exclusive she knows will make her career, but he's got more on his mind than just talking. They share a drink and then he eats her out on the couch and then she gives him head. After that he sits on the couch and she rides him reverse cowgirl style. He puts her on the floor and fucks her missionary style and then pulls out and ejaculates onto her tits.
Meanwhile, in another dumpy apartment somewhere in California, Buck Adams has been taking steroids that have turned him into an insatiable fuck machine. He takes out his pent up frustration on Karen Summers by eating her out and fucking her missionary style and then spoon fucking her. He fucks her doggy style and then she sucks him a bit before riding him reverse cowgirl style and stroking him to a finish all over her pelvis.
The next day, Drax learns about an up and coming boxer named Rockey, played by Jerry Butler, who might just be more than he can handle. All 'roided' up, Drax challenges him to a match but not before we get a look at Rockey fucking the socks off of his wife, Melissa Melendez. He sucks her tits and they sixty-nine for a bit before he bones her from behind. To prepare for his match, Drax lets Vanessa D'Oro give him head before putting her on the floor and spoon fucking her on a white bear skin rug and blowing a load all over her face.
Karen Summer lezzes it out with Nikki Randall in the next scene which doesn't further the plot at all but which sure is fun to watch. They make out on the same couch that Drax recently fucked Karen on and they go at it really aggressively. Drax doesn't want his woman to have something he can't have, however and before you know it Nikki is giving him a blowjob on that same couch, which really sees a lot of action in this movie. She rides him reverse cowgirl style, the spoon fuck, and then he gets her missionary style before flipping her over and fucking her from behind. Somewhere in here there was a story about a boxing match, wasn't there? Right. The combatants train and train some more and then eventually we do get a chance to see the pair square off in the ring in a match that's far better shot and choreographed than you'd probably expect.
Once that's over with, however (and you're not going to find out who wins in this review), it turns out that the real winner is John Holmes who finds himself in bed (or at least on the floor) with Karen Summer. He eats her out and she gives him head and then he fucks her for a few minutes before all over her freakishly hairy stomach (seriously, her pubes go all the way up to her belly button which is a little scary).
Each of the three films in this collection were shot on video and are presented in their original 1.33.1 fullframe aspect ratio. The transfers look about as good as you'd expect some twenty year old low budget smut videos to look, meaning there's some softness throughout and plenty of funky color fading but they're all at least watchable enough when you consider the limitations of the source material. The tape roll that is visible at the bottom of each of the three transfers is annoying though, and Adam & Eve probably should have just matted that out - it wouldn't have affected the compositions or the aspect ratio and it would eliminate the distraction.
The English language Dolby Digital Mono audio is pretty unremarkable but it gets the job done. You won't have any problems understanding the dialogue or following the plot even if there is a bit of hiss in the mix from time to time.
Extras on the I Love L.A. DVD include a still gallery of screen caps taken from the film's weak DVD transfer, trailers for The Return Of Johnny Wadd, Marina Vice and Treasure Box, and a bonus scene. The bonus scene is the only extra of any substance and it's taken from La Bimbo and it stars Alicia Monet, Lauryl Canyon and Vanessa Cole. The girls are sitting around a beach (that looks like a sandbox on a soundstage) when they decide to oil one another up and play with a dildo. They suck on their tits, eat each other out, and stick that aforementioned dildo into all the right places.
The Saturday Night Beaver DVD also contains some trailers and a still gallery as well as a bonus scene also taken from La Bimbo and it stars Alicia Monet, Lauryl Canyon and Frank James. This is a different scene than the one on the first disc and it starts with the two blondes fucking in black lingerie near the fireplace. Frank walks in on them playing with a dildo and decides to get in on the fun. He eats them out and gets his cock sucked and then the girls take turns riding his face and his cock. Frank is wearing a Hawaiian shirt and looks like he walked off the set of Magnum P.I.. The girls move into a sixty-nine and he fucks Monet from behind and pops on her lovely ass to end the scene.
The Rockey X DVD follows the same format with the trailers and the lame still gallery. The requisite La Bimbo bonus scene on this disc stars Frank James and Vanessa Cole. She moves in on him while he's sitting behind a desk in his office. He eats her out, she gives him head, and then he fucks her missionary style on top of said desk. He bends her over, fucks her from behind, takes a phone call (!) and then pulls out and unloads on Vanessa's chest.
The extras in this set are pretty disappointing...
None of this is 'top tier Holmes' and there's really no doubt that the man made way better pictures than the three contained in this set, but completists will be happy to have these later entries on DVD for posterity's sake. There's enough that goes right here that, despite some ultra-low budgets, bad acting and freakish belly hair they're worth a watch for fan's of the biggest man to ever grace the industry. Consider this one a recommended title for Holmes fans, a rental for everyone else - it's a shame that more care wasn't put into the presentation, but the three films are enjoyable enough on their own merits.