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King Dong Vol. 1

Studio: Muffia » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 7/14/09

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Audrey Bitoni and Alec Knight

King Dong Vol. 1


Genre: Web to DVD, Gonzo

Capri Cavalli

Director: Uncredited

Cast: Audrey Bitoni, Alec Knight, Capri Cavalli, Voodoo, Aletta Ocean, Angelica Heart, Jordan Ash, Jenna Presley, Shyla Stylez

Length: 230:38 minutes

Aletta Ocean (scene specific trailer)

Dates of Production: 12/9/2008, 3/27/2009, 11/11/2008, 2/4/2009, 3/27/2009, 2/5/2009

Extras: The best extra was a 23:05 minute bonus scene between Monica Foster and Dane Cross (as "McMuffin" this being a parody title of "Super Bad" called "Super Badass"). There were also some trailers but that was it.

Condoms: None

Angelica Heart (scene specific trailer)

Audio/Video Quality: King Dong Vol. 1 was presented with a couple of different aspect ratios, most of the scenes presented in 1.33:1 full frame while others were handled in a letterboxed widescreen simulating a 1.78:1 ratio as shot by the uncredited directors of Muffia. The 480p resolution, MPEG-2 encoded footage was hard to pin down in terms of consistent factors making up the visual elements (perhaps due to the likelihood of several directors and crews) but all of the scenes looked pretty good or better, a few looking good enough that I thought they'd look sweet in high definition. If you're a technophile demanding the best looking porn on the market you will want to rent this one first but I couldn't see passing it up over minor issues (the video bitrate often hovering around the 2.6 Mbps area, showing the numbers do not always equate to better resolution). The audio was also nothing special, presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 48 kHz sampling rate and 192 Kbps bitrate. The vocals sounded decent here too, the straightforward nature of the material certainly assisting in making the production sound better than some of the company's older efforts.

Jenna Presley (scene specific trailer)

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: Muffia is one of those internet companies you may not heard of until recently but they have been quietly getting better with all sorts of porn offerings of late, the most interesting of which are their porn parodies. Of all their collected websites though, I figured the one I would least about was the subject of today's review of King Dong Vol. 1. The movie took six scenes from the website's archived footage and placed them on DVD, providing a lot of fuck for the buck in the nearly four hour fuck flick regardless of who the well endowed men were supposed to be. With performers like Shyla Stylez, Capri Cavalli, and Jenna Presley as but a few examples of the ladies, I wondered if any of them would prove to be size queens but given the men of the cast (Voodoo, Jordan Ash, Alec Knight, and one I didn't know), I felt secure that the size issue was largely a figment of the advertising department. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Shyla Stylez (scene specific trailer)

Scene One: Long Stroker: Audrey Bitoni, portraying a journalist on the prowl for a story, ended up interviewing moper Alec Knight on 12/9/2008. She asked him a lot of embarrassing questions since he was a movie star, leading up to the ultimate question about his pecker size. Needless to say, she assisted him in making it grow, dropping to her knees to blow him before he reciprocated and licked her twat. The two then banged pretty actively as her dripping wet pussy accommodated his admittedly average cock. The scene ended with his modest load coating her face. The company website described it like this: "I had some reporter by the name of Audrey Bitoni come over to my house to interview me. She worked for some magazine there whos name escapes me. Anyhow she heard stories about my cock size...seems my ex has been talking. She basically wanted to see first hand if all the stories were true. One question led to another and BANG we were doing it on my couch. She had fucking amazing TITs. Good thing the fiance wasnt due back till a couple hours."

Scene Two: Big Giver: Capri Cavalli, playing an obnoxious singer climbing the charts and making lots of bank, was then pitted against IRS agent Voodoo in this scene shot on 11/11/2008. She treated him like crap and he acted like a bureaucrat know-it-all, his audit pissing her off when he kept under valuing her treasures. She wanted to talk to him and he agreed, the two moving upstairs to the bedroom where his audit continued until she showed him her physical assets, her growing smile matching the growing object in his pants. She sealed the deal with her mouth, his cock big enough to make him a challenge that she couldn't resist (or, sadly enough, handle orally). Capri was a modestly active vaginal rider here, far from the best but suitable nonetheless, taking the wad of genetic juice to her mouth when he launched it her way. The website said it like this: "Pop star Capri Cavalli has not payed her taxes in a while. The IRS comes knocking at her door to do an audit which she is not to pleased with. The IRS man starts taking inventory of all her assets. She sees an opportunity to make a deal with the agent by showing off her sexier assets. She gives him the full star treatment and is pleased to see that this agent is packing a lot more than just tax forms. Watch Capri give this pencil pusher the ride of his life."

Scene Three: Boning The Beauty: Aletta Ocean, the brunette featured on the front cover, was up next with an uncredited moper in this scene shot on 3/27/2009, the kept woman railing at the ancient asshole that treated her like a possession, her status as a kept woman causing her to cheat with the bartender in her room after a coincidental meeting. She slipped him a note and met him at the door in her black bathing suit (which left little to the imagination). He immediately felt up her store bought titties and she unfastened his pants to reveal yet another moderate sized cock in the movie. Compared to the one she was getting at home though, it was huge so she couldn't resist sucking him off, the moper fucking her pussy in return but eating her asshole before taking her ass too. The rest of the scene consisted of variations on the themes presented, the guy rubbing out his wad of population pudding to grace her face at the end. The company website described it like this: "Aletta is on vacation with her old sugar daddy husband. He goes off to the bar and leaves her to unpack everything. When she gets there, he is to busy on the phone to pay her any attention. She notices the bartender and slips him a note to meet in her room. Once he gets there she takes full advantage of his giant cock and gets what she is completely lacking from her old bag of bones husband. She wants all of Ramon in her sweet luscious ass and he is all to willing to comply."

Scene Four: Angelica Heart, a cute brunette wearing a green shirt and blue jeans, was then up with Jordan Ash, the gal having broken up with his roommate brother and picking up her stuff in the scene shot on 3/27/2009. She found a condom wrapper and was determined to get some payback, Jordan just as good as any other mope in her eyes to do it with so she took off her clothing and put on a fishnet body stocking. This apparel worked wonders for rallying him to her cause, her sexy accent helping too, his moral dilemma solved when she started pawing his pecker through his pants. They each did some oral on the other, the mechanical sex lacking any chemistry or passion, leading to various positions of vaginal sex. He then launched a load of genetic juice onto her face to end it, the feelings of guilt left unexplored for the moment. The website said it like this: "Mandy has broken up with her boyfriend and goes to the house to pick up her things. When she gets there only his brother James is there. He goes off to his bedroom to finish his movie while she stays behind to pack and plot her revenge against the ex. She calls back James to reveal shes only in a fishnet. He goes crazy for her fine ass and gives in to her seduction. He shows her that he is packing more heat than his brother while she takes full advantage."

Scene Five: Dongzilla: Jenna Presley, showing off her huge implants and big smile, had put Jordan Ash to work in the garage, her tits practically falling out of her yellow blouse in the scene shot on 2/4/2009. She left him to finish up and started fantasizing about him on her bed, removing her clothing as she started masturbating at the thought of his strong arms around her. He soon walked in on her and couldn't resist peeping, Jenna fondling his pecker as she invited him in for a lot more fun than he had been having in the garage. He diddled her and she kissed him, this leading to a prolonged blowjob shot partially in POV fashion. He went down on her too but it wasn't close as hot as her work for the day. They then vaginally screwed like a couple of teenagers until she unleashed his seed all over her face. The website described it like this: "Jenna has her handy man working in the garage while she gets off on how hot he is. He accidentally stumbles in on her as she is fingering her self. Shes surprised at first but then takes full advantage of him. She rides and sucks Jordan like a true champ and then cums all over his monster cock more than once."

Scene Six: Pleasing the Pole: Shyla Stylez, a curvy blond favorite of mine for years now, was up last as she sought treatment for her obsessive compulsive disorder. Her yellow top was overflowing with her bountiful bosoms and she mentioned how her sex drive was greater than her husband's to therapist Voodoo in the scene shot on 2/5/2009. The problem was that she wanted to try anal sex and her husband thought it was wrong, Voodoo drawing pictures relating to his golden find of the month. Her descriptive comments gave him some wood and his cure ended up being his own cock, her knob slobbing skills put to the test before her pussy and ass received him as hard as they could muster. There was some taste testing too but both of them enjoyed the penetrative sex, his treatment involving all the boning he could muster. The ending facial came from her hand too, Shyla jerking him off into her mouth in heated fashion. The website listed the scene as such: "Shyla has a problem that needs immediate professional help from her shrink. She has an obsession with anal sex that she cant seem to get off her mind. Shes going crazy thinking about getting rammed in her ass. The doctor has just the right medicine for her, gigantic cock. Shyla gets the full treatment from the good doc."

Summary: King Dong Vol. 1 by Muffia was a bit uneven in terms of sexual heat, chemistry, and passion but the amount of fuck for the buck alone helped boost this one up to a Recommended and I dare say that if the best scenes are yet to come as someone suggested, follow up volumes might be even better in terms of strokability, replay value, and all the things people like to see. Please note though that some of the cocks in the show did not merit realistic consideration for higher grading purposes, the concept of the series itself needing larger cocks to rate much higher. In short, King Dong Vol. 1 had a mixture of cock sizes but a solid female cast of cuties that I liked enough to overlook the size issue, the plentiful nature of the footage helping me out too so check it out.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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